The Devil Cites Scripture
an excerpt

“Ian guuuuyyy… look at meeeeee…”
His eyes shot open at the sound of the soft, crooning voice, and he looked up. His nose came in contact with the nose of an old human skull, gazing at him. “Oh GOD!” he jolted back in horror, nearly tumbling from his chair.
…and there was Lucas, his eyes gleamed with pleasure. “Iaaannn guuuuyyy… Lucas melted my face off and fed it to his caaaaaat… save meeeeee…” he moved the skull’s jaw to match the words.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Ian sighed and let his head fall back onto the desk. Lucas leaned up against the table.
“Yeah I know. Check it out!” the amused man tossed the skull up into the air and caught it with ease, holding it up like some prize trophy. “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy! He hath bore me on his back a thousand times, and now how abhorr’d in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it!”
Ian stared at him blankly. A few students clapped, and one said “Heh bravo, dude!”
“Here, catch it Ian guy!” In an instant, ‘Yorick’s skull’ was up in the air, and Ian shot out to catch it clumsily. “Hey, handle him with care you dick! Don’t you have any respect for the dead?!”
“What? YOU’RE the one who hurled him at me!”