Excerpt: Sunrise

The Davidwolf punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape. I flinched away from the hostile-looking movement. The Handlers were violent even when getting comfortable. He looked over at me as he settled down and I wondered how good his night-vision was. “Hey, Lily? Are you awake?”

“Yes, Davidwolf.” I was glad that my eyes weren't reflecting. I didn't like how it made Davidwolf uncomfortable. “What is it?”

He was quiet long enough where I didn't think he was going to answer. I let my eyes shut, trying to call sleep again. He spoke and interrupted me, his voice oddly vulnerable. “Do you think my brother will like me?”

Tears bit at my eyes for some strange reason and I pressed my lips into a line. I chose my words carefully before saying them. “Brach is a good person and you’re...” I hesitated, unable to say that he was a good person, too. “You’re good at doing whatever’s needed to be done. You’ve kept your family alive and safe for him. He’d respect you the way he does few people in New Leningrad.”

Of course, Davidwolf wouldn't let it go. “But would he like me? I mean, will he like me the way he likes you?”

“I don’t know, Davidwolf,” I murmured. “You’re his brother, and his family bonds are strong. The probability is very high that he will accept you as his family no matter what you could ever do.”

Davidwolf blew out a sigh. “Couldn’t you just say ‘Yes, David, he’ll love you’?”

“No, because I don't know for certain that he will. I don't want to lie to you, Davidwolf.”
There was another long pause and I assumed the conversation was over. “Goodnight, Davidwolf.”

“Can I ask one more question, Lily?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you always say my first and last name?”
I frowned into the darkness. “I don't understand your question. I call you by your name.”

“But you always say my whole name - David Wolf. You don't call my sister Nicole Wolf, or anyone else their entire name besides me. Why?”

“I didn't know Nickel's name was Nickelwolf,” I murmured.

“And why do you pronounce it like that?” he asked. “Why do you jamb the syllables together like they're one word?”

“Your name is only one word.”

“My first name is one word, my surname is one word. That makes two.”

“I don't understand what a surname is.”

“It's like the family name.”

“I don't know what that is, either, Davidwolf.”

“It's the name that all of your family shares.”

I frowned. “Like how I have two numbers from my mom and two numbers from my dad in my identification number?”

“Kind of...but this name is passed on from generation to generation....When you get married, does anything in your name or number change?”

“What is ‘married’?”

He gave a sharp sigh and he turned his back to me. “Never mind, Lily. Go to sleep.”

It was my turn to have the long, misleading silence before I spoke. But my silence was from fighting back the tears and the thickness in my throat that disappointing him had brought. I wipe my face free of the salty streaks down my face and whispered, “Davidwolf? Are you awake?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped that he wasn’t. Of course, my answer came back quickly. “Yeah.”

I swallowed again, flinching away from how loud it seemed. “I'm sorry I upset you.”

Silence, again, so long this time that I counted sixty seven heartbeats. When Davidwolf whispered my name, I didn't respond.

He didn't ask again.