fm
an excerpt

There were several places around campus that provided chairs for people who arrived for their classes early, or had about a half hour to kill and not enough time to do anything important. Jackie belonged to the latter category one day, and she was sitting in the lounge sort of area doing her daily Sudoku puzzle in the newspaper when she heard the impending approach of a socially awkward girl.
“No.. our team sh-should have won but FOR SOME REASON the other team did.”
The girl was on the telephone with her mother. Jackie could sense this, just as she could sense several other things, simply from the tone and volume of the girl’s voice. She didn’t even need to turn around to come up with a fairly accurate profile of the girl. She was not overweight, but large. She wore her hair down, and it was greasy and unkempt. There was a strong possibility for socks with sandals, and as Jackie turned to check she found this girl had added a long pink hippie skirt to the ensemble. And of course, being loud, socially unconscious, and wearing a bookbag the size of Missouri, the girl would most likely be talking so loudly and confidently to her mother. Jackie felt sorry for the girl, and as always, embarrassed by default. It was Jackie’s curse to feel all of the embarrassment that other people should be feeling themselves, but were for some reason or other incapable. She immediately stared with utter focus at her Sudoku puzzle, though she found her attention irresistibly drawn back to the girl, who was continuing in her conversation.
“No, I asked the professor to count the score again. We SHOULD HAVE WON.” Some phrases were inexplicably louder than all of the others. Perhaps it was a point she wanted to emphasize, or she just really didn’t care to pay attention to the volume of her own voice.
“I got yogurt in my hair.”

That one was too much to simply dismiss. Jackie turned her head to the girl, in an expression she hoped expressed concern.
“MY HAIR IS LONG IT GOT INTO MY YOGURT.” The girl was irritated, obviously being rebuked by her mother for getting yogurt in her hair, which she felt was unnecessary. Jackie hoped that it would not take the girl too long to realize that if you don’t tell your mother over the phone that you got yogurt in your hair, this ceases to be an issue. In fact, you really don’t need to tell anyone that you got yogurt in your hair. The issue is between no-one but yourself and Yoplait. HEY! She got her Plait in Yoplait! Jackie logged the pun away to use on her blog that night, scribbling it in the corner of her now completely ignored Sudoku box. This girl was a slice of fried gold.