Fresh Water Pirates
an excerpt

“I had my plenty good share of thinkin’ time when ye bastards tied yours truly up t’ th’ Rotten Rose. I had plenty a thoughts racin’ through my hade after I knew each an’ ever’ one a ye were fixin’ t’ serve me up fer dinner, ye sea dogs!,” Black Jenny scolded The Others. They all looked to Captain Charles, who stood proudly with his arms crossed behind his back, giving Black Jenny all the stage and time she demanded.
“Now as I were thinkin’ on how ye mangy pirates were so keen on killin’ an’ eatin’ th’ very pirate on yer ship, I thought, ‘th’ sort a swabbie a deserve t’ be sliced up and served on a platter er them raunchy arrogant princesses an’ such, th’ powdery privileged folk who take un gander at a pirate an’ order a noose from th’ servants.”
Black Jenny started to pace back and forth as she spoke, her black hair flying with the breeze, her blue eyes flashing, and her cheeks rosy with passion.
“When I saw them swabbies all dolled up an’ fancied to the hilt wi’ dubloon an’ jewels, I knew they was richer than th’ King and Queen we left four voyages ago! And when I saw th’ fat jigglin’ wi’ ever’ clumsy step, I figured those wealthy pigs er no better ‘an livestock to we pirates.” The Others listened to Black Jenny, but they had no idea where she was going with all her talk. As they tried to hear and understand her meaning, the men fidgeted and shifted their weight like little boys who need to pee.
Black Jenny stomped her boot hard on the deck to wake them up. “We’re going to kill ourselves a plenty of those fat rich folks and make ourselves a soap factory with their blubber. They got plenty of it, and it makes the best moisturizer for a person’s skin.” The pirates grimaced.
“Soap? You mean purty smelly stuff?” Dog Face snarled.