Mr. Dull
an excerpt

Chapter 1

"I don't mind it every once in awhile," Delia said to her friend, Chloe, "but I can't see spending the next three thousand Sundays that way."

It was a tough call. She'd always thought she would get married someday, and Delia loved Paul very much, but starting the week with three hours of football followed by sex in his recliner was not the life she envisioned.

"Paul's a great guy," Chloe said, "but if you have doubts, you'd better not marry him."

Delia sighed. "I think I need to break up with him. I mean, knowing it's hopeless, how can I go on with him?"

"Then break up with him," Chloe said, "but don't tell him it's because of football. Tell him you have to go find yourself."

"That's stupid," Delia said. "He won't buy it."

"It is stupid," Chloe said. "He'll feel he's well rid of you."

"I don't want anyone to be well rid of me."

"In this case you do," Chloe said.

===

"Find yourself?" Paul shouted.

Delia's posture contracted, and she blinked. She couldn't remember the last time he'd raised his voice.

"Your real problem, Dee, is that you don't want to find yourself. You're getting too close to it and you are running away. Come on, out with it!"

Delia swallowed and gave a little grunt. Paul moved to sit beside her, on the ottoman that faced the couch in his apartment. "What is it, Sweetie? Why can't you tell me the truth?"

Delia's throat seized up. "Because it's so stupid." Her effort to choke out these words caused her to drool onto the hands she held folded in her lap. She tucked them under her arms.

Paul wrapped his arms around her, "Darlin' I don't know what's troubling you, but I'm not giving up."

Delia wept, but did not return his embrace. "I really just need to end this," she said. "What do I have to do?"

They went back and forth for awhile, saying all the things lovers usually say when one is trying to break up with the other. I'll change, just tell me what you want and I'll do it, let me go, why can't you just let me go?

Paul leaned back on the couch, eyes closed, tears seeping out onto his lashes. "Okay. If we're going to break up anyway, what's the harm in telling me the real reason?"

She told him.

He inhaled noisily before jumping out of his seat. He bent over her, as if yelling directly at her head would help. "Delia, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Do you really think I'm that much of an idiot? We don't have to watch football every Sunday! I had no idea you minded, and now you think our relationship is doomed. What is going on with you?"

His uproar didn't disturb her so much this time. She sat, exhausted, red-eyed, swaying a little. "You think you can give it up.," she said, "but you'll resent me later. And every Sunday when we aren't watching football, I know you'll be thinking about it, and that you are making a sacrifice. You'll think about what it's costing you. You'll wonder whether you might have found a girl who really likes football. You'll think about all your friends whose wives like football, or who don't mind it, and wonder why you can't have what they have."

Paul sighed and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. "Okay, I'm starting to get it. You think I'm a jerk. None of the good things about me count, because you have decided to hold this one thing against me, without even letting me try to correct it. I knew you were stubborn, but I didn't know you could do this. But now you almost have me convinced. However..." He looked down at the top of her head, and shook his finger at her, even though she couldn't see it. "...I will give you one week to change your mind, on the off chance that something is going on that is treatable. If there's something going on with your brain that is making you say these things, I can deal with that. But you have to see a doctor."

Now Delia turned toward him, and looked up at his pointing finger. He had broken a sweat, and his sandy hair stuck to his forehead. "Is that the only thing it can be? You can't just take my word? I don't fault you for being how you are! I want you to be happy and I don't think I can make you happy. Aren't you glad I'm saying this now instead of waiting until after five years of marriage? And children? I'm trying to do the right thing."

Paul pressed his lips together. "One week," he said hoarsely. "One week, one word and I will forget we had this conversation."