Excerpt: The Autobiography of Ziggy Swift

Kibbel clamped his hands over his eyes and trembled. In the distance the wagon creaked and groaned as the off-kilter hoofbeats of the single horse plodded forward at full speed. Slowly, the creaking and groaning grew louder.

“OH GOD IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US! RUUUUUUNNNNN!!!” I screamed and pushed Kibbel. He screamed as well and ran north as fast as his legs could carry him. I ran behind him a bit and gave my best impression of a dragon roar, causing him to scream and run faster. I stopped, but he didn’t. He continued to run, tripping and falling several times, but never uncovering his face. After 30 minutes of running, he faded out of site over a hill. After chasing him off, I stood in the middle of theroad and waited for Haynar’s wagon.

Haynar still looked confused when he pulled up. “Was that the ogre? What did you do to get him to run like that?”

“I told him you had an invisible Steel dragon that could turn him to stone if he saw it, and told him to run when it flew back through.” I explained triumphantly.

“Wait, Invisible dragon that turned you to stone when you saw it? But… ok, well what was the he quicksilver for?” he asked, momentarily confused, then growing impressed.

I held up the steel ball and wiped a finger across it, displaying a coat of quicksilver. “How do you prove an invisible steel dragon exists… Have you ever had a bird poop on you?”

“No but-” his eyes narrowed with understanding, “Oh no… and he bought it?”

I smiled, examining the quicksilver on my finger, and gave it a taste (It sorta tasted like one of those copper coins Semus kept in his sock). “What can I say, Ogres are dumb.”