Excerpt: Grey Matter

I was on the subway to work, just reading and watching people. The rumble of the cars was relaxing. Suddenly I realized that all of the people in there with me were amazing. Like really truly amazing. The fact everyone lived and breathed was enough. They all had stories and delusions, and were so completely wrapped up in being themselves that they never realized how amazing they all are. Me too for that matter. The lights grew bright and I had the illusion that the train itself was breathing with life. All of our lives. I was so at peace.
Then came the beat of pain in my head. Like a heart beat. Pushing on my eyes. Then it was gone, and I breathed a sigh of relief. At the end of the sigh I felt it again a pulse of electricity in my brain. Wires crossed, and it went away again. This time I knew it would come back. Maybe its migraines I thought. Three more pulses of confusing pressure, and the sound in the car went away. Everyone was looking at me. I wondered what I had been doing to make them look. I looked down and away humbled. I must have been doing something odd. Something to worry them, because they had in fact looked worried. Three more beats. The light in the train car seemed odd I looked up forgetting any embarrassment for a moment. The lights in the train were off, but there was light coming from somewhere. The corners away from me had become dark, but all around me there was bright light. The train had stopped its peaceful rumble. This time the pain and confusion made me wince. It took a moment to remember my train of thought. There was a woman praying in the corner. I didn't understand. I gasped in pain, and forgot.
The lights in the train were on, and it was rumbling merrily along. People were sitting there bored and relaxing against the seats. Every thing was normal again and my migraine (or whatever they are) was gone.
I made it in to work wondering if this new hallucination thing was gonna effect me badly. I had just turned 25, so schizophrenia was not out of the question. I clocked in not overly concerned for the time being, after all what good is giving up on health care if its gonna stress me out to the point it intercedes with my life. I got to the area where I hang my coat and the lights were flickering just a little. It was odd enough that I took note, but it didn't worry me I got my apron on and walked out onto the sales floor.