Excerpt: Paris In New York

Enthroned upon stone seats, the Gods and Goddesses of Mt. Olympus were wearing grave expressions along with their togas. One Goddess, tiny and raven-haired, was standing in their midst. It was she who prompted the grave expressions.

She was minor Goddess and her quick eyes flitted from face to face, her gaze defiant. Finally they came to a halt, resting upon a huge God with smooth, flowing grey hair. She placed one hand on her hip and then bowed down to him in mock worship. “Well, Almighty Zeus, what is your verdict?

He returned her mocking stare with an impassive one as he considered her question. His grey eyes fogged over as he slipped more deeply into his thoughts and his hand twitched up in a reflex action, stroking his salt-and-pepper beard.

The raven-haired Goddess in the middle of the Circle of Gods regarded him with a scowl. He was certainly taking his time deciding. Finally, unable to wait any longer she snapped, “Well,” she demanded her tone impatient.

Zeus’ grey eyes snapped angrily and he shook his head. “This is not a decision to be made lightly. You, Eris, may do everything without thinking, but I am not Chaos, like you. I am concerned with consequences, not only actions.”

Eris just kept on scowling. “Hurry up, Zeus,” she demanded irreverently. Then she examined her wine-red nails, seeking out non-existent dirt.

“I can’t make a decision,” Zeus rumbled a moment later. “I’m going to pass this out to you.” He looked around at the Gods and Goddesses.

Eris’ head snapped up at that. “What?!” You’re going to let them vote? You can’t do that! They’ll kick me out just because they hate me!” She was screeching shrilly at Zeus, panicked.

He just regarded her calmly, not betraying a flicker of emotion. This was a feat, since the puppy-dog eyes Eris had fixed him with would have melted even the hardest of men.

“You will each get one vote,” Zeus resumed, “you are voting ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a simple question: Should Eris be kicked off Olympus for causing the Trojan War?” Eris flinched as almost all the Gods and Goddesses nodded firmly. ‘Yes’ they said, even though they had not yet cast their votes.

“Write your votes on a piece of parchment which Hermes will provide.” The messenger God pulled out a quill and several rolls of parchment distributing them amongst the Gods and Goddesses. “Pass your votes to me once you have decided and I will count them,” Zeus finished, his expression serious.

So Hermes voted and passed on his quill to the others. Eris could feel the trepidation rising within her, as one by one they each cast their votes and took them up to Zeus. He read them all gravely, each and every single one. Then, he looked up at Eris, grey eyes sad. “It looks like you will be leaving us. The Council of the Gods has spoken.” He threw his arm up in the air, letting a lightning bolt grow in his palm. Then, he threw it to the ground, to signal the end of the meeting.

“Goodbye Eris.” A few were decent enough to say goodbye to the exiled Goddess. For the most part, though, the Gods drifted away from the open courtyard -- where the council was held -- in silence. They were just glad to have gotten rid of Chaos Herself.

Eris glared at them all as they left. Finally, Zeus was the only one left. She turned her back on him and began to walk away. “Wait, Eris.” Zeus laid a restraining hand on her shoulder and steered her back to the open courtyard.

A chilly wind blew in from between the Corinthian pillars and Eris shivered. She rubbed her hands together to keep warm. “What?” she asked, just as sharp and bitter as the cold wind.

“Take this with you.” From the base of his throne Zeus removed a tiny mirror.

Eris accepted it, her expression bemused. “Thanks,” she said sarcastically, with no idea what the mirror was supposed to do.

Zeus’ lips tightened. He was displeased with Eris lack of gratitude. “Neptune made that, it’s a Looking Glass. In case you need to communicate with Olympus when you are on Earth. You may not be allowed to live with us any longer but you can still call upon us for help,” Zeus said sternly, fixing Eris with a serious look.

She just snorted when he was done speaking and turned her back on him, walking off down Mount Olympus. Headed for Earth. “Eris!” She looked back up just in time to see a flash of gold hurtling through the air. A second later something smacked her on the side of the head and then fell to the ground with a dull thud. Eris rubbed her sore head and picked the Golden Apple off the ground, holding it delicately between her fingers as though it were precious.

She looked up at Olympus and was met with Hera’s smug, smiling face. She was the one who’d thrown the apple. “You can take that with you!” the Queen of the Gods crooned, but her eyes were fixed on the apple, longing. Eris’ lips curled into a sadistic smile and she held the apple by its stalk, swinging it back and forth. Tempting Hera with its beauty.

She was pleased to see Hera take a few steps forward, drawn to the apple. The moment the Goddess moved, though, Eris covered the apple up and kept her hand closed tight around it. “Mine now,” she teased Hera, who was now being restrained by Zeus. Satisfied, Eris resumed her march. Downward, onward to Earth, to her new home.

She paused when she reached the barrier of cloud that separated Olympus from the human world and turned. From here, the huge figures of Zeus and Hera had shrunk to the size of ants. She doubted that they could see her, much less hear her. Still, she had a message to send them.

So, calling up her minimal powers for what she knew would be the last time – she’d lose them when she descended to Earth – Eris magnified her voice box’s power several hundred times, “See you in Hades, bastards!” she yelled at the top of her magically enhanced lungs.

With that, and a final salute, Chaos Herself left Olympus for good. She was wearing her trademark sadistic smile. Judging by that twist of the lips, Earth’s inhabitants had better watch it. The Goddess of Chaos was in the mood for havoc.