NUTS
an excerpt

Paris Hilton was driving drunk one night when all of a sudden she hears a thump! She opens up the car door and wobbles toward the motionless thing on the road. she gets a closer look and sees its a child. "Oh no! i hits a lil kid. What should i do?" she wailed. she hears rustling in the bushes nearby. she turns and saw someones outline on the side of the road. "kid come here!" the person yelled,"Where the hell are you, you little demon!" Paris, with tears streming down her face she starts running towards the figure screaming"i killed your baby! i'm so sorry i killed your baby!" when Paris got closer she saw who it was...no other thatn Britney Spears herself. paris Hilton calmed down and started to explain what happened. Britney just nodded her head and stared at the ground the whole time Paris was talking. at the end Briney said"Honey i don't see why your getting all upset about this it is just a kid. i can always get more." they talked a little more and then decided to go and party. so they jumped in the car and left the kid on the road. they showed up to nicole richies place ready to pick her up for a Girls Night out. Leaving Paris in the car Britney runs in and gets Nicole. Britney finds nicole kneeling infront of the toilet puking up her lunch. "I'm fat!I'm fat!" Nicole started screaming. Britney comforts her "it's okay to be fat. i've been fat and ugly my whole life and look where it has got me." Nicole looks at Brineys nasty face and starts bawling again. Seeing that Nicole wasn't emotionally able to go out tonight she just goes back to the car. she tells Paris what happened and they decided to go pick up Lindsey Lohan at the rehab center. So they go pick her up and she jumps in the car with a 24 pack of bud light. Paris asks"Can i have one Lindsey?" Lindsey starts foaming at the mouth"NO!!NO!!NO!!NO!!! Don't ever touch my beer. I'll kill you like terrist will kill an american." Paris glares at her"okay then. so what should we do?" Britney suggested"why don't we go to Micheal Vicks house and watch a dog fight?" So they cruise over to his house and just there luck it was the end of a deadly fight and vick smashed the injured dogs head with his foot and waited for it to stop breathing. "oh darn it we missed it"whined Lohan. Paris cries"What are we going to do now?" Britney says "we could always help O.J kill his next wife?" Paris states"Naw i don't like to get messy. We should all get really drunk and race cars with Van Diesal." "Naw, we shoulkd go over to Micheal Jacksons house and spend the night at Neverland." Lindesy suggested. they all agreed and cruised over to M.J's crib. they saw a sign that said"if you not a little boy and you don't like lolli pops don't trespass or you will get eatin alive by my lions." "all shux," Paris says"what to do now?"