Excerpt: Still

"Cal had flinched the moment she said the word 'condition.' Did she have to put it like that? Everything else that Ann had said sounded wonderful to his ears, but the word condition sent something unpleasant up his spine. He hated that word. He knew about the circumstances of why they moved. Cal knew that what he had did on that cool October day had ruined several people's lives, and ended one, as well. He knew that it was horrible. But condition? Condition was a word used for people sick and dying in the hospital. Condition was a word used in place of rules, in school. Condition was in no case Cal's unflattering ability, but deep in his mind, Cal knew it was. It was a condition, and a sick one at that. It didn't leave his skin covered in rashes, or with him on a bed, dying of cancer. It didn't make his mind work backwards, and it didn't make him mentally incapable, like the kids in the Special Ed class who were still playing with building blocks. It just left other people in such a ruined state, or to be honest about it, a lifeless state.
“Why won't it go away?” Cal asked. The question was partially directed toward Ann, but mostly, it was for himself. He wanted an answer, and after sixteen years of living and pondering, he still hadn't gotten one.
“I don't know,” Ann replied helplessly. “It's just part of you. Like how breathing is a part of you.”
Cal shook his head. It was the wrong answer to give. Cal didn't want this to be a part of him. He wanted it to all float away, like a picnic blanket in a strong summer's breeze. He wanted no trace of what had happened to stick to him, but it still did, and it was now stronger than ever. Other 'conditions' could be healed. After a night's stay in the hospital, a person could walk out of a hospital, feeling new and completely and entirely free of their condition. They could go back and resume their lives, like the scaly, itchy mess on their face had never really happened. It was different for Cal. He couldn't go to a doctor's office and walk out completely unscathed from what had plagued him before. He would never have the priviledge or saying that he was free. No matter what he did, or how often he moved, this 'condition' would be a part of him forever. It would be with him.
Always. "