Excerpt: Over Coffee

Oh, the stories that bed could tell if it had a voice and a memory longer than most reasonably priced mattresses had. Were it not an inanimate object but a person, a child truthfully for it was only five years old, it no doubt would have given the greatest details about Marc and Terry's sex life. It might even have told Terry about all the other men Marc had invited into it while Terry was at work and it definitely would have told Marc, because it never seemed to like him (being very uncomfortable no matter which way he slept or on which side he rolled onto) about how often Terry would call out Marc's name in his sleep or wake with tears in his eyes because of some dream he had had. That is, of course, if the bed could speak, which it did not and so, Terry remained oblivious to the two timing antics of his philanderous boyfriend and Marc kept a clean conscience about Terry's nightmares. But, if Marc had known about Terry's dreams, he might not have decided that very night, the night of their anniversery, to end it with Terry. That would also mean, however, that Marc had true feelings for Terry, which he did not, and that he had the same sort of conscience other human beings have, also which he did not.