Excerpt: Just Ice

She shook her head, a third of the way through her hotdog now. Ben glanced down at the dress, fitted tightly around her middle. Where did it all go? “That doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Like if I knock you over the head with your rum, and throw you in the river, I wouldn’t get away with it just because there isn’t a sign to say I can’t murder you here.”

“But that’s a national law,” he said, sizing up the hotdog perched on his eight fingers and two thumbs. “Ignorance isn’t a defence against crimes, but it is against local laws not enforced at the national level.” He saw her polish off the dog out the corner of his eye, and in turn forced a lump far too large into his own mouth. It touched his throat as he closed to chew and rushed to hide the gag reflex. He felt stupid.

“You’re right. You are pretty smart. But you haven’t told me the second thing.” He turned and looked at her, and scrunched up his forehead in lieu of trying to speak. “I said you can’t drink here, and you said that there are two things I should know. The first of those being that the sign is lying. The second being…”

“Mmm,” he said, remembering as he swallowed. “The second being that, to be honest ma’am, I really couldn’t give a damn.” She smiled and he finished his hotdog.