The High School Book
an excerpt

Our last stop is HEB, and it is there that I discover The Ninja Folder. Since I already have everything I need, except for that bloody calculator, I’m mostly just tagging along behind Terra and waiting for her to finish picking out a set of spiral notebooks. And next to the notebooks, cast aside on top of a wide selection of manila envelopes, is a black and red themed folder entitled “WWND?” Most of the front of it is taken up with a spin board. On it are options such as “strike quickly,” “turn invisible,” “jump over a building,” and “unleash fury.” The spinner is in the shape of a masked ninja warrior in the middle of some fighting pose, his left leg sticking out to become the point of the spinner.
This folder intrigues me.
I pick it up and open it. Inside, the first pocket has a label to fill out (name, address, school, subject) and the second pocket has a list of ten things that ninjas can do. I already know that I am in love with this folder, in spite of the blindingly corny Ninja Fact Number Ten: “Ninjas don’t do drugs.” I pick it up, hug it to my chest, and smile in a mischievous, ninja-like way.
“Check this out,” I say to Terra, showing her the folder.
“Oh,” she says, momentarily diverting her attention from her own shopping, “cool.”
I think that “cool” is an inadequate way to describe the awesomeness of this folder, but I let it slide. Instead, I amuse myself by thinking up questions in my mind and spinning the ninja pointer to get an answer.

Questions I Asked the Ninja Folder:
1. What should I do when I get home?
A. Hypnotize someone.

2. How should I deal with people who talk during a movie?
A. Smash something
3. How will I pick which side of the dorm to sleep on?
A. Jump over a building.
4. What is the best way to handle an irritating RA?
A. Stealth attack

I continue to entertain myself in this way until Terra is ready to check out.