Excerpt: I Called Him "Love" (a true story)

Prologue

The only thing on my mind was the desires of my heart, which I could not describe but could hear through the speakers of the phone, pressed in between my ear and my shoulder. That special someone on the other end of the telephone was thinking the same thing. The two of us could sit on the phone in utter silence, but be filled with joy at the thought of each others company so close but yet so far. Be soothed by the sound of one another breathing. The question that now lingers in your mind I have the answer to...the answer is yes. We were in love. And even though things have changed, we still are...and always will be.

Chapter 1
“Sage, please listen to me. I’m worried about you. Just let me tell you what’s been on my mind and then you can talk, okay?” I pleaded as we stormed down the hallways at school.
He stared ahead, listening but not responding with a look on his face like he wanted to just turn around and shove me away...it wouldn’t have been the first time.
“I think you’re sick. I really think that you need to take something. You can’t keep getting these angry outbursts and then begging for forgiveness immediately after. It’s not fair to me and you’re scaring all of your friends,” I went on, hoping I was getting through to him, but fearing that I might just be making things worse. My heart was pounding, both because we were power striding to the school parking lot and because I could feel I was losing him and I just wanted to keep holding on.
He never spoke back, but nodded sarcastically a few times or tried to walk faster to get away from me. But I just kept going. I wasn’t going to let him get away from me, from the fact that he needed help and I was there for him to get him that help if he would just accept it.
“You are angry, Sage. And you have to accept that so you can get better. Is there something that I’ve done to make you even more angry these past few months? I’ll leave you alone. I’ll give you some space. Whatever it takes,”
We made our way outside to where his friends were all gathered as usual. My mouth was running all over the place with things I hope he heard. I was beginning to doubt that any of it mattered until he suddenly whipped around as soon as we got to the center of the parking lot. I smiled, hoping something I said had hit him and he was going to say something back finally. That smile shattered when instead he jumped at me with his arms out. I thought he was going to hit me.
“You know what I want? I want you to stay the f*** away from me! Leave me the f*** alone ‘cause you’re f***ing annoying and you’re a f***ing b****!”
He screamed in my face so loud that I’m sure everyone in the parking lot could hear. I didn’t know what to do. My heart stopped completely, my thoughts ran blank. I simply turned around and began walking away, crying harder than I think I’ve ever cried in my life.
What made things worse was that I only got so many feet away from him before he started to chase me. I walked faster, not caring who saw me crying, but trying to find somewhere I could hide.
“Beth! I’m sorry!” I heard him from behind me. I sobbed, wanting to buckle to the ground. I couldn’t let him get to me though...not after that.
He slowed down so I sped up, thinking I could go hide in the bleachers, making it harder for him to get to me.
Turns out it only made it easier. He came up behind me and I turned around the other way, trying not to look at him.
“Beth, please don’t. I’m so sorry.” He said sweetly, holding his arms out to me.
This was the hardest moment of my life. My heart ached so bad, and it a split second it tore right in half. I had to make a decision in the smallest portion of a second existing. Thankfully, time stopped for me. It would have been so easy for me to run into his arms and forgive him and let him comfort me while I finished crying. But something made me choose the hard decision.
Time sped up again. I didn’t even look at him. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him as hard as I could.
“Leave me alone! Just get away from me!” I screamed at him through giant sobs. I was hurting so bad it was hard to breathe.