Synopsis: Life in Black and White - Part III

You know you’re in for a completely miserable existence when:

10. Your family is afraid of you.

9. Your teachers think that if they talk to you, look at you, or even think about you, you are going to instantly take a psychotic fit at them.

8. Your classmates make fun of you because you’re a smarter, younger, smaller person than they are – even though it wasn’t your decision to be skipped four grades ahead.

7. Your only real friends are three insane psychiatric patients with screwed-up personalities who live either in a run-down apartment or with an entirely mentally ill family who doesn’t give a rat’s a** where they are, what they’re doing or if they’re pregnant or smoking up behind a bowling alley or whatever. Oh, and also, they drink, and they drive about one million miles an hour past the speed limit. And two of them are like five years older than you are, so you have to hang out with them in secret.

6. You can’t feel safe and relatively happy if someone else is not with you. Also, it doesn’t help when you’re always breaking the hearts of the people you love by being an ugly, evil troll who rages at them and then cries and expects them to forgive you.

5. You are in the most evil therapy group known to mankind, where the therapist is either creepily nice and happy or a complete and total b*tch.

4. You have lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, of issues, including but not limited to your utter hatred of your own father, and also the fact that you frequently enjoy dragging the blade of your Swiss army knife across your own skin.

3. You can’t sleep worth cr*p. Not even if you drink some yummy green tea beforehand. Frigging forget about counting sheep.

2. Your heart is actually addicted to crack, and therefore you are completely, stupidly, in love with a sociopath who is also one of your best friends, and who therefore knows you exist, but really doesn’t care. Which is much worse than just not noticing you exist.

1. You were diagnosed with a severe mental illness at the age of nine. NINE. That does it – you know life’s got it in for you...

About the protagonist:
Gabriel Locklear is not a vampire, or a werewolf, or a pseudo-vamp who sparkles, or a zombie. He just wishes he were one of those things, because to him, any of those options would probably be about twenty times better than being a human with borderline personality disorder.

About the book:
"Life in Black and White" chronicles fifteen years in Gabriel's life with a severe case of borderline personality disorder. At a little over 240,000 words, it is probably one of the fattest mothers currently in existence. It is a psychological drama which desperately wants to be edited, but will need to wait until I have completed the first draft. It also tries to mix serious recollections of a mentally ill person's life with sprinklings of comic relief here and there (so as to limit the reader's impending depressive state), but usually just ends up being slightly awkward a lot of the time. "Life in Black and White" was started on June 7th, 2008. It is a novel in four parts.