Synopsis: Oh, Horrors: The Voyage of the Inexplicable

Verne/Lovecraft/Wodehouse-inspired steamcrunk fun.

William Hapthorne was the aimless scion of a wealthy London family. His father wanted him to grow up (but no! Not that way!). His mother wanted him to be miserable (or what else is one supposed to think when the woman suggests charm school for her 22-year-old son?). His best friend and butler Pemberton wanted only to help (well, that's what you assume about butlers, right?).

And what did William want? Oh, you know: adventure, meaning, excitement... and maybe that girl in the green dress, while we're wishing. The one with the ideas about a new submersible mechanism and the endearingly preoccupied smile.

Then Grandfather Lev, eccentric patriarch of the Hapthorne clan, called "genius" and "tyrant" and much in between, bursts in one night and offers both William and the object of his affection, Eleanor, the chance for just such an adventure.

But when they accept, not even unflappable Pemberton is prepared for the horrors that await...

("Alloyed Forces: or, No Rust for the Wicked," a science fiction adventure with robots, was abandoned at 3462 words. All words beyond that are for Oh, Horrors.)