Excerpt: B 1 Dead Bad Man...Prudence Magellan Hairdresser Mystery.

“Pru, Pru, honey, Patty here. You got some time tomorrow to pretty me up? I have a little romantic dinner with my new man and I want to look fabulous.” Patty says with a purr.
“ Honey, Let me grab my book.”
I put Patty on hold and make my way to my little beauty parlor in the back of my bungalow. Patty makes 55 look like 40. (I remember those days.) Not because she pretty or overtly smart; She’s got glam, and has a way of making beige, (my least favorite colour, is it a colour?)... feel like hot pink. She makes who ever she’s talking with feel like they are the only person in the whole world. She carries all 5’10” of her lovely self with the grace of an assured feline, and has a smile that lights a room. She’s a stunner. She’s a queen bee gathering her drones; Men, want to taste the honey of her. Women, want to be where the men are.
“Patty? K, how about 3pm tomorrow? Cabby March canceled on me so you can take that spot. K? Terrific. See you tomorrow honey. Bring me some good gossip.”

“You bet Pru. Oh.. and BTW. You hear about that guy they found naked and nearly dead behind The Italian Stallion last night? Purple bingo dauber marks buried all over is face, his body… Blinded him. Daubed him up his nose, down his throat, leaving the dauber up his you-know-where: He’ll be lucky to live. If he lives, he probably won’t be able to speak ever again. Violent crime Pru, scary violent to me. A dauber Pru, a dang bingo marker; who knew that a dauber could inflect that kind of injury? ”

“NO. Really?. A crime involving Bingo markers? That’s hideous. That’s ridiculous. That’s…. welll. Really? I didn’t hear that yet, Patty. What colour did you say the dauber was? Who is this guy? Local? Who found him? I can’t believe I haven’t heard this!”
My inner thoughts cascade through my body with a series of jolts. Purple is my favorite colour and the thought that it was involved with a crime makes it strangely personal to me. Not mention that Patty having this juicy bit of ugliness before me irritates the ‘bejesus’ outta me. I have been use to being privy to this kind of information before most due to my intimate connections. I feel someone’s butt is going to be ‘chewed out’ here very soon. Patty tells more.

“His face is such a mess he’s unrecognizable. No ID on him that I know of. Jim, my new man, is a detective. You know Jim? Doesn’t everyone? Anyway. That’s how I heard about it. They’ll know soon enough with Jim on the job. He can’t really say much. He was with me when he got the call. He had to pull his pants on and rush out the door. (giggle) Not exactly an opportune moment, ah well.”

“Jim? Detective Jim Stancocski? Really? That gorgeous hunk of man? Aren’t you the one? There isn’t a middle-aged woman in town that’s not talked about him or wanted him Patty. Never mind that he never married. My ears have been burning about that man for three decades. He’s the single most hot tamale in town, sweetie, and you nabbed him. Well, Kudos for you. It’s about time he took someone else seriously. You’ll have to tell me more when I see you tomorrow. A few provocative details?? I’ll see what I can find out about the dauber-ed guy. Fontaine doesn’t have crimes like this, Patty? You call me if there is any new info on this guy. K? I’m counting on you honey.”
“K Pru, see you tomorrow. Bye bye.”
“Tomorrow, Patty.”