Excerpt: Just a Girl-Junior Year

I had to pull myself together yet again before entering. Never before had a smile been so difficult to force. This was so not like me. I really needed to do something to get myself back into shape. As I stood there, breathing deep, I told myself an activity was just what I needed. I had spent far too much time alone this summer. That was it. I needed social activities not my quiet house and TV. Though my body ached for my bed, I put one foot in front of the other and thrust myself into Drill Team chatter.

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As Wednesday’s Homecoming Rally started in the gym, I experienced something I had never felt before. It started in my throat as a squeezing sensation then moved down to my left arm as a tingling. I tried to ignore it at first, but it got worse. And as it did, I found myself breathing faster. Then it moved to my hands. It was like electricity entered my body at my throat and left through my hands.
Dizziness and nausea then took over. I wanted to run, scream, hide; anything to get away from this god awful storm that was brewing inside of me. But we were about to perform. I needed to pull myself together. I had no idea how. First, I focused on my breathing. I slowed it with some difficulty.
My eyes scanned the team as I wondered if anyone noticed something was wrong with me. They had to; I was sweating like crazy. But no one said anything.
“Hey, Ange,” I whispered fiercely. “Is it hot in here?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m cold actually.”
“I, I….” The room started spinning.
“Loredana, are you okay?”
“Yeah, no,” I panted. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think I am going to puke!” I took off for the bathroom at top speed. By the time I fell into a stall, my world was almost entirely black. For a few moments, I leaned against the cold metal stall, trying to avoid completely passing out.