Excerpt: Keep the Faith

Martin's non-text in the morning was almost totally forgotten because of the idea of the surprise for lunch. I could hardly sit still in the morning — I couldn't wait for twelve noon to roll by. I kept on checking my computer clock for the time, until I realized that the more I check it, the slower it's going to be, so I took great efforts to not look. It didn't help, though, because I kept on checking my phone for messages in case he gets here early or sends a message with a clue or whatever for the surprise.

I wasn't so absorbed at the idea of the surprise to not notice when Ryan returned from his one to one session with Kuya Ivan. He returned to his seat at around nine-thirty, forehead wrinkled in thought. His expression didn't look too alarming, though, so I didn't ask what he and Kuya Ivan talked about. I figured he'd tell me all about it later on when we talk, which was supposed to be an hour before lunch.

However, by five minutes to eleven, I got a text . At that time I was already waiting for Ryan to tell me where we'd be talking so all other thoughts were pushed at the back of my mind that I almost jumped when I read the text message. It was Martin.

Hi Faith. I'm already here at the Center. Can you go out now?

What do you know, he is early. He must have gotten an early break from his work. Not that I'm complaining, though - this just means we have more time to spend for lunch. Or maybe his punctuality is also a part of his surprise? I can't wait to find out.

I replied to his message and then turned to my partner, clearing my throat as I did. He was looking intently at the screen, so I had to say his name for him to hear me. "Hey Ry."

"Hmmm?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me to show he's listening even if his eyes were glued to his screen. I could hear the clicks of his keyboard as his fingers moved swiftly over them.

"Can we move our one to one later at one? Martin's waiting for me outside, he's picking me up for lunch."

Ryan tore his eyes away from the screen and looked at me. He blinked a couple of times, almost like he was having a hard time focusing. "What?"

"Martin's waiting for me outside for lunch. Is it okay if we talk later, at one?" I repeated.

"Sure, Faith. It's okay," he rubbed his eyes wearily and sighed softly. Gee, is he tired at this time already? He really must be not used to waking up that early. I made a mental note to talk to Kuya Ivan in behalf of Ryan later. "But we really have to talk later, okay?" he added.

I nodded. "Of course." I locked my screen and slid my mobile phone in my purse. To my surprise, Ryan reached out and grabbed my arm.

"Promise?" He asked, his tone almost pleading. I looked at him curiously, wondering why the sudden outburst.

"Yes, I promise," I said, pulling my arm away from his grip gently. "Don't worry, Ry, I'll be back." I stood up from my chair and smiled at him.

My partner smiled, and then turned back to his computer, back to typing, as if what he did did not just happen. I looked at him curiously, wondering if something happened during his conversation with Kuya Ivan that's made him act this way, or if he's really just not a morning person. I said a quick prayer for Ryan in my head as I squeezed his shoulder before turning to go.

I was just about to exit the building when I ran into Mark, who was coming from the Youth Ministry area. I waved and continued on my way but then I remembered that I was supposed to ask him about Rain's arrival later, so I turned and ran up to him and tapped him on the back.

"Oh, hey, Faith!" Mark smiled his little boy smile. His smile is probably something that's permanently etched in his face, because I never see him without it. Except probably when Rain got into an accident a year ago, but other than that — especially after that — he's got his smile back again. I had a feeling he'll have a bigger smile later.
"Mark, are you free this afternoon?"

Mark nodded. "I think so. I'll be here until around two, and then the rest of my afternoon is free. Why?"

"You do know that Rain is arriving today, right?"

"She is?" Mark's eyes widened, and he blushed slightly. He cleared his throat. "She is, is she?" Funny how he doesn't know — I wonder if Rain's planning to surprise him or something.

I laughed. "Yeah. She is. Anyway, do you want to go with me to the airport later to fetch her? Lissa couldn't make it and she suggested I take you instead."

Mark brightened. "Sure! I mean...yeah, I'll go. Of course. I want to welcome Rain back too."

"Sure you do," I said teasingly. "Anyway, I'll be going out now, but I'll be back after lunch. Let's meet here? I can pick up my car at my apartment — "

"No need, I'll bring mine," Mark interrupted, grinning like a little boy again.

"Okay, if you say so," I replied, returning his grin. "So I'll see you later, okay? Get something nice for Rain. Like...flowers or something." I couldn't resist adding that, and was pleased to see that Mark's eyes lit up at the idea. I waved at him one more time before rushing out of the building.

Martin's gray van waited for me just by the entrance and I couldn't help but smile wider when I saw him inside. I ran — almost flew — to the van and climbed up the passenger seat in excitement, only to be greeted by, "What took you so long?"

My face fell slightly. "I ran into Mark and had to talk to him about Rain's arrival later," I said, taken aback at his tone. First Ryan, now him. What's up with my boys today?

"You should have sent a message," Martin said, his tone chilly.

"I'm sorry, Marty," I said softly. "I didn't know if I would catch Mark later so I had to talk to him. Sorry, sorry." I reached for his hand and slid my fingers between his and felt relieved when he squeezed my hand back.

"It's okay," he replied with a sigh. He glanced at me briefly and then pulled his hand away to hold the steering wheel. "I was just a bit impatient. Sorry."

Martin? Impatient? Since when? He's the most patient guy I know, next to my partner! What is up with him?

Then again, everyone has their days. And even if Martin is the head of a Catholic community, that doesn't mean he likes Mondays the way I do too.

"So Faith...I'm thinking we should go to Greens for lunch, what do you think?" Martin said as he started to drive away from the Center's parking lot.

I beamed. Greens was my favorite restaurant — it was one of my discoveries when I became a vegetarian in college. It was one of the few affordable vegetarian restaurants in the city, and a place that I always go to regardless of the distance from where I live and work. "That would be great."

Martin smiled at me again and then focused his eyes back on the road. I watched him drive for a moment, and — cheesy as this may sound — wondered how lucky I was to have him in my life. No, not lucky. Blessed.

I met Martin back in college, when he was trying to start a campus based branch of their Living Saints youth ministry in our university. Back then I was a member of the school's pastoral ministry and a leader of the Youth After Timothy, Order of Saint Paul’s youth ministry, so I was pretty well-versed with the university rules and procedures about setting meetings for Catholic organizations. Abby was a part of Martin's community back then, and she asked me help for their group. I dragged Meah and Rain to help me out too, and pretty soon, we were also attending their meetings to support them.

Just like my job, I never really thought I'd be together with Martin. Honestly, I thought he was a bit too snobby, and even a bit sheltered. Meah was the first one who had a crush on him, while Rain was just amused by his weird expressions and difficulty to speak in Filipino. That was before she found out he was her second cousin, of course.

Sometime during the year, Abby, Meah and Rain started teasing me to him, all because of Meah's dream that she saw the two of us together. I ignored it for most part, because I hardly knew him and I wasn't even the least bit interested in him.

We all graduated college and the only time I hear of Martin was from Abby, until I flew to Costa Rica for my mission. I was surprised to be sharing the same community with Martin, who was also there for a mission trip. I was in charge of the kids and he was in charge of the youth. We hardly talked in the morning but found ourselves talking a lot at night, when everyone else is resting. I got to know him a lot better then, and I realized that he wasn't so bad. In fact, he was just the kind of godly man that I would like to end up with, but I never thought of him that way.

Until he confessed that he was falling for me, that is. He started courting me while we were in Costa Rica, and as a sign of respect to my parents, he kept contact with them. He went back to the country earlier than I did, and when I followed a few months after, we became an official couple.

I can't really say it's been bliss ever since because it's not easy being the girlfriend of one of the big time people of another big Catholic community in the city. Martin is not only the head of the youth ministry of Living Saints, but also the head of their Singles community. He's practically a celebrity in their community, especially with the youth — he actually has young high school girls who gather around the stage after the worship to talk to him and take pictures with him. I've never seen that in Order of Saint Paul In fact, if any of our guitarists or band member gets a "fan", they'll be teased to no end. But in Martin's community, that seemed to be a normal thing.

But in the past two years, I can safely say we've gotten into a certain kind of groove that helps us adjust to one another. Like, I used to drop all other commitments whenever Martin asks me to go with him somewhere for his community events, but I could hardly get him to attend any of our events. After an episode where my friends and my core group head confronted me about it, I finally brought it up to Martin and we reached a compromise: I only have to be with him in his community events if it's a very special and important occasion and he promises to do the same for me. It worked.
I am totally, totally in love with Martin Jabson, and I really believe that he is God's perfect choice for me, and I for him. I can't wait to spend forever with him.

"And we're here," Martin announced as he parked outside of the gate of the house where Greens was located. He turned the engine off, climbed down and then went to my side and opened the door for me. Always the gentleman.

"Thank you," I said as I climbed down. I reached for his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek as we started walking to the restaurant. He just gave me a small smile.
We were greeted by one of their servers as we went in, and her eyes lit up when she saw the two of us. We were regulars in this restaurant, so it was just as expected. However, I wondered if her excitement in seeing us also meant something about the anniversary surprise.

I honestly cannot wait. But, I'm going to get Martin lead me to the surprise instead of preempting it. I don't have any idea what it is anyway, so why go ahead of the guy, right?

So we ordered, and started talking about our weekends and our respective communities. He told me about this concert they're planning next weekend, and I told him about the series of Gawad Kalinga builds that we were planning for the next month. He told me about his brother and I told him how excited I was of Rain's arrival later today and that I was pretty sure that they were going to have a cousin reunion now that she's back. It was like our normal conversations. I love how easy it is to talk to him, and know that he is never judging anything that I say.

I was trying to keep the surprise out of my mind, but we have already finished eating lunch and was about to finish off the dessert, and still there was no surprise. What is Martin planning? Why is it taking so long? And why hasn't he mentioned our anniversary or even brought me flowers or something?

Just as I decided to finally ask about it, Martin beat me into talking first. "Faith..."

This must be it. I leaned forward in my seat in anticipation and asked, "Yes?"

He sighed. "Look...we need to talk."

I know I'm not that much of a chick flick fan as my friends are, but I know that that particular line is like a thin line between the good news and the bad news. Either the guy would be proposing or something else.

Is Martin proposing?

Oh. My. Gosh.

"Yes?" I asked again, my voice in a strangely higher pitch.

Martin gave me a strange look, before continuing. "Look...I've been praying about a lot of things lately."

Praying. Praying! That's a good sign!

"And...well, God has been telling me a lot of things."

I looked at his hands, which were just at the table. Why isn't he pulling out a velvet box from his pocket? Shouldn't he be kneeling down on the floor beside me already? Or maybe he's not the ring person, or maybe it's a family heirloom and it still needs to be resized? Oh my gosh I can't believe it Martin's proposing to me and I'm about to be engaged! Engaged! Me! To Martin Jabson! I can't wait to tell my friends.

I was so flustered by my thoughts that I momentarily blanked out from what Martin was saying and all I heard when I came back to earth was, "...friends." He looked at me expectantly as he finished.

I blinked. What? What did he say?

"Sorry, what was it again?"

Now he gave me a pained look, like he couldn't bear repeating what he said. I suddenly had a bad feeling in my stomach, and my hands started growing cold, like what happens I was about to receive some bad news.

Martin took a deep breath, and reached for my hand. But instead of intertwining his fingers with mine like he usually does, he just lays it on top of my hand, like how people would put hands on top of other people's hands when it keeps on tapping or moving or something. Almost as if Martin was preventing my hand to move.

"Please don't get mad, Faith, and I hope you understand that I prayed hard for this."

Why would I be mad? That was never a good sign of good things to come. I stared at Martin silently, waiting for him to speak, not knowing what to feel.

"Faith...I'm sorry...but I think we should just be friends."