Lunar Culture
an excerpt

I had one week before the full moon, well actually I had less then a week, I had a school week. The full moon was on Friday, which meant that there would be no homework and all after school activities would be canceled due to the fact that the town congregated in a few separate locations for the ritual before the change. I knew next to nothing about anything that was going to happen on Friday, all I knew is that I was going to change for the first time, which terrified me, and I had to let the change happen, whatever that meant, or it was really going to hurt. Sara asked for me to come to her house everyday after school for the week so that her mom and dad could go over the ritual with me, what was expected of me before the change and what I should expect during the change. This was all stuff that everyone else in town had learned while they where growing up, there where only a few members of the town who had been changed like I had, and they where all very old at this point.

I set my things down in the living room area at Sara’s house; her mom was in the kitchen making tea, which I had found to be a staple in werewolf life. Her father was sitting in front of their television watching a football game, it reminded me of my dad, who I used to be so close to, we would watch college football in the living room during the fall, he would yell at the television while I would sit back and smile at him, thinking that it was so funny that he go worked up over a game at a school that no one he knew had ever attended. I felt sad; the last thing that my father and I had done together was look at the houses here in Vermont and come to sign me up for classes. I had looked forward to looking at colleges with him and traveling to the schools that he wanted me to apply to, and even though I had no intention of ever sending them an application, I would go, because it was a trip with my dad. We hadn’t done any of that, as soon as we moved to Vermont, dad was like a different person, he was so excited about his job, while he watched mom and I being miserable, and not seeming to care; both mom and I had drifted away from him, because we couldn’t stand the way he was acting. I had applied to colleges on my own, I still had a few applications to send out, but dad hadn’t even looked at my essay, which he had been talking about helping me with for years. I bet he didn’t even know where I was applying, even though I had kept both mom and dad updated at dinner.

Mr. O’Keefe turned off the television as soon as he heard his daughter in the room, pulling her into a big hug, I wanted to cry, I missed my dad being like that; Mr. O’Keefe turned the two of them and opened his arms to me also. “You’re kind of a part of this family too, and you look like you could use a dad hug.” I felt a tear run down the side of my face and I just nodded because there was a lump in my throat the size of Texas. Sara and Mr. O’Keefe pulled me into a big bear hug and I felt unexplainably better. The three of us then wondered into the kitchen and graciously accepted cups of tea from Mrs. O’Keefe.

“Alright, Morgan, there are several things that you need to know before this Friday.” Mr. O’Keefe started as we all sat down at the kitchen table. I briefly wondered where Brian was, since this seemed to be a family thing, but I let it go. “I’m sure you have noticed that there are no active churches in town. Now we do have several old historic churches that have been converted into new things, some are homes and other are schools for our younger children, but we don’t use them as they where once meant to be used.” I nodded, there where six beautiful old churches in town, I had wondered why none of them where used as houses of warship anymore, three of them where schools, a pre-school, a daycare center for very young children and finally the kinder garden and first grade center; the other three where homes around town, I had never been into any of them, but I wanted to, just to see how the space had been converted, it seemed so cool. Mr. O’Keefe took a deep breath, like he was organizing his thoughts. “As wolves we are all connected to nature, and thus we have decided, or more accurately our ancestors decided to warship something a little closer to us. Instead of an intangible god somewhere in the heavens looking down at us and telling us we are wicked just for being what we are, we warship nature. We have chosen different paths to go about this, the circle that you will be joining this month will be ours, the one that Sara, myself and her mother are a part of, Brian tends to drift from circle to circle, so you may see him this month, you may not. We encourage our young to choose for themselves, and Brian just hasn’t yet.” Mr. O’Keefe pulled out an old book, it was big and thick, the pages looked old and where all uneven at the ends, unlike books today. It was bound in black leather, though the color seemed to come more from age then the original dye. “This is our families Book of Shadows, I’m sure you’ve heard of them in pop culture, Sara hear tells me that the occult has been making a huge comeback in the past few years. It is our family book, and it never leaves the circle of the family. As each wolf pup is brought into the circle by his or her parents, we have adopted you, since your parents aren’t part of the Pack. There for, you are part of the family, you will be considered part of the O’Keefe circle, since we will take you to your first moon, whether you decided to stay with out tradition, or you chose another one, you will always be Circle O’Keefe, and always welcome to our Book.”

I followed what Mr. O’Keefe was saying as best I could, but it was a lot to take in at once. I nodded my head, but still felt confused, I would have to ask Sara to explain further, later. Mrs. O’Keefe put her hand on my shoulder, offering comfort, which I gladly accepted. I was more grateful then I could articulate that they had been the family to take me in during all of this. I couldn’t even begin to think about where I would be if I had to go through this all alone.

“Now, Morgan, you must understand that the first change is going to be the hardest. It’s going to hurt more then anything else you have ever experienced, but only if you let it; you must accept the change, and let your body do what it needs to, if you tense up, if you try to resist, if you push yourself to hard, its going to hurt. On, the other hand, as you experience more moons it will become easer, every moon will be easer then the last, until you are able to change at will, you will be able to become the wolf outside of the full moon, but probably not for about a year, it take a while to feel out your trigger, the thing that makes you change.” Mr. O’Keefe put his hand over mine, like he was trying to push the knowledge that he had into me with both his words and his mind.

“It took me almost a year and a half to be able to change on my own,” Sara smiled at me, which was what she always did, it was wonderful, not an adoring smile, but a warm one, telling me that she was by my side no matter what. “Brian did it in less then six moons. I was so jealous of him, I kept trying to get him to tell me his secrete, but he couldn’t explain it to me. I would spend hours up at night trying to push the wolf out of me, it was so frustrating. But I’ll be here for you, no matter how long it takes, and I’ll hold your hand when it doesn’t come and I’ll run with you when it does.” I reached over to her and pulled her into a hug. I felt accepted and loved for the first time since I left St. Louis, and somehow this felt more real then it had ever felt with my friends back in the Midwest. I paused for a moment, and realized that sometime in the past week I had stopped calling St. Louis home, and stopped thinking of my friends back there as my lifeline, sometime in this week this had become home, and these people had become my support in the world. I felt good and whole and I almost thought that everything I had had to go through to get them was worth it, but not quite. The nightmares and the rape where making it so hard for me to function, I dreaded going to sleep every night, and I couldn’t think straight half the time. But I was home, for better or worse, here I was. Sara squeezed my hand, and directed my attention back to her father, who was speaking again.

“The path we follow is more of a Wicca path, where as some of the different circles follow different faiths, one you will not need to worry about joining is the Druid sect, they are like a little fraternity here in town, and are all men. Brian is leaning towards there circle, which we are a bit disappointed about, but it is his choice in the end.” He paused, and looked down into his tea, like he would somehow find answers there, “Sara will really be able to explain the ritual aspect of our path with you, she will run though everything you will need to know and what you will be expected to do. For your first moon though, you really are just going to need to relax and let everything come as it does.” He stood, leaving only Sara and her mother and I sitting at the table.

“We won’t worry about any of that tonight, for now, if you would like to stay for dinner, your welcome, other wise, I’ll let Sara take you home. You might want to tell your parents that you’re staying the night here on Friday.” Mrs. O’Keefe also left the table and started bustling around the kitchen getting together dinner for her family. I missed watching mom cook, I had really stopped paying any attention to her in the past week, which I really felt badly about, since none of this was her fault, at the same time though, I didn’t know what to tell her. Every time I sat down with mom she wanted to know how I was, she wanted to talk about it and tell me everything was going to be alright. Nothing was ever going to be all right again, everything that I knew from my childhood was false, everything I was told about people being good in their hearts was wrong, I wanted to scream at her every time she said anything, to throw things at her and stomp my feet and act like a five year old. But I didn’t, I smiled and told her I was feeling much better and that everything would be fine soon. I would go up to my room and cry.

I was getting a bit frustrated at the fact that none of the pack seemed to know anything about what had happened to me, most of the kids at the party had been far to drunk to remember who had gone upstairs and who had been with who. I couldn’t decide if they where lying to cover something or if they really didn’t know. I wanted who ever had done it punished, I wanted them to know that I would bring about vengeance; I wanted to feel like I was normal again. I wanted to stop jumping at shadows and screaming when the tree near my window scrapped against the glass, and mostly, I wanted to feel like I wasn’t in danger anytime I was alone with anyone other then Sara or my mom.

I smiled at Sara, getting up with her and heading toward the living room area, I could have dinner with my parents next week, when mom’s disinfectant didn’t make me sick, and I wasn’t thinking so hard about what was in store for me come Friday. For now, I wanted to be with people who knew what I was feeling, and who I didn’t have to pretend with.

“It’ll all be fine, don’t worry Morgan, we will all be right there.” She put her hand over mine, like her father had done to me earlier.

“I’m not really worried about Friday, what’s really on my mine is the attack. I want to know who did it, I want to have peace, and I want to sleep without having nightmares. The tea you gave me works great, it keeps me asleep, but it also keeps me from being able to pull out of my nightmares. Its like I’m stuck in them, I relive it over and over, and there are new fun elements every time, I don’t really think that I’m remembering anything, I think my brain is just supplying things.” I tried not to cry, I tried to hold in everything I could, I didn’t want to keep crying in front of everyone, I really just wanted to be normal, though I was starting to doubt that I really knew what normal was anymore.

“We’ll find them, I promise, and we will bring about Pack justice on them.” She looked so determined, and so serious, I didn’t really want to ask what Pack justice was, I couldn’t really envision them putting these boys in the local jail, not that I really remembered any kind of jail in town, I knew there was a sheriff’s office, but I could only really see that holding one or two cells.

“For now, I’m going to be normal by doing my homework, and look forward to a weekend free of homework, which I gotta say, I’m really excited about.” I had been tracking the nights that we didn’t have homework at school, and everyone had fallen on a full moon, now that I was on the inside, it completely made sense.

“So, homework over television, you really are my parents dream kid, hey, maybe we could adopt you, and we could send my little brother to be raised by wild wolves.” Sara’s little brother Colin was never at home, he was the wild child of the family, at eleven. He wore all black and listened to death metal and was the pre-teen version of a goth kid. If I didn’t know he was a werewolf, I would think he was a vampire.

“What do they do with all the kids who haven’t turned yet? There have got to be a bunch of kids that have no one to take care of them the night of the full moon.” I hadn’t really thought of it before, since it really didn’t apply to me, but there where several women in town that had babies, and lots of elementary school kids, what would they do without their parents.

“They go to the day care center; the oldest take care of the younger kids, everyone twelve and under are there, so there are plenty of kids around to take care of each other.” She flipped on the television and changed the channel to something that wasn’t college football, and ignored it in favor of her English book.

“So there aren’t any normal humans that take care of the kids?” That was something else, everything shut down for the full moon, but not everyone got to participate yet, they where too young.

“There aren’t any normal humans that know about what we are. We try to stay as isolated and away from the rest of the world as possible, which is why we moved to Vermont to begin with, there was no one here, of course now it’s not like that, but we are pretty well established at this point, so we don’t really want to move.”

Being home that night was hard. I sat in my room avoiding my parents. Mom and dad where fighting pretty loud, I could have heard them in my room even if I didn’t have super hearing. They where fighting about me again. I was staring to feel like I was the reason my parents where fighting most of the time now, and felt really bad about the fact that I had snuck out to begin with. I pulled out my head phones and settled myself into the bath trying to drown out my patents angry words. Even through the music mom and dad’s voices filtered through. I gave up after an hour and changed into a pair of sweats that I had liberated from my mom and headed out into the night to run to the school and back, to try to get rid of the excess energy that I was starting to feel.

The road to the school was much spookier without Brian running at my side, even though my sight made it almost like daylight to me, the fact that the moon was over head told me that I was in a world to myself. The woods weren’t silent, really far from it, but none of the noises where ones that I was used to, I longed for a car horn or an angry drunk shouting at a light pole, instead I got the sounds of nature, rustling trees and chattering animals, all noises that weren’t comforting in the least, but probably should be.

I made it to the high school without even starting to feel winded, so instead of stopping before I took the hill back to the house I simply turned around and kept going. About half way there I spotted the wolf in the woods. I didn’t really know if it was the same one that had been lurking outside of my house, but the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I speed my pace, trying to push myself home as quickly as possibly. I wanted away from the wolf as soon as possible. As far as I was concerned it was the leading suspect in the attack. More then any other time since I had moved to Vermont, I wanted a cell phone. I wished that I could call Sara, or even my parents to come and get me.

My heart started to race, much more then it should be for the amount of stress I was exerting on it, I could feel cold sweat running down my back and my body ran cold. I pushed myself into a sprint, I could see the house from where I was, but I could still feel the wolf’s eyes on me as I made my way up the driveway. I burst into the front door and collapsed into the hallway as soon as I shut the door behind me.

Mom came running down the stairs; I could hear her as soon as she left her room, coming to see what had brought me bursting into the house.

“Honey, what’s wrong, are you okay, where did you go?” She was checking me over for cuts and bruises, making sure her shacking daughter was alright physically, while questioning my mental state.

“The wolf, it followed me. It’s outside right now. Mom, I’m so scared.” I pulled my gloves off and was busy pulling off my tennis shoes when mom made her way to the front door to look out. “Don’t open the door, it’ll come in.”

“Morgan, it’s a wolf, it doesn’t want to come in the house.” I couldn’t tell her that it was a person inside, and it would come in if there was an opportunity. I kept my mouth shut, and let her open the door a crack. “I don’t see anything.” Her eyes weren’t as good as mine where, and I could see the glint of the wolf’s eyes as she was shutting the door. I breathed out, not realizing that I had been holding my breath. “I think your safe, sweetie, now where did you go?”

“I just wanted to get out of the house for a minute, I took a walk up the block and back, I just needed to clear my head.” I got up off the floor and headed to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

“I don’t want you going out at night. I know you feel like your safe, but I just want to know that you’re here, that nothing bad is happening to you. You gave your father and I such a scare the other night, I don’t want to have to worry about that happening again.” She went back up the stairs, now that she had seen that I was fine, and she thought that I had made up my attacker following me home.

I was fine, for now, but I wouldn’t be running on my own again anytime soon. I took my glass of water up to my room with me, finishing it before I took my herbs so that I could sleep and not disturb my parents, made sure that everything was ready for school in the morning, and settled down for another nightmare filled night.