Excerpt: Wilde at Heart

Caleb took a deep breath of the cold early November air as he pushed open the door of the little bookstore. Despite the seemingly small shop front, the actual interior was quite spacious. There wasn’t a Help Wanted sign in the window, but it never hurt to ask. Caleb had been turned down by three stores and put in a desperate application at the market. Bagging groceries have been fine when he was sixteen and his parents were teaching him the value of a dollar, but he was a college graduate now and wanted employment of a vaguely more cerebral nature. “Um, hello? Is anyone here?”

“No, we regularly leave the store wide open to see if the town’s developed a crime rate yet,” a young woman’s voice heralded the arrival of a girl from around the nearest bookshelf. Long brown hair in a ponytail and a stack of books in her arms, Caleb put her at a late teen to early twenty-something.

“I’m sorry. That was a stupid question,” Caleb ran a hand through his hair and tried to be surreptitious as he glanced around for other employees. The smirk on the girl’s face let him know he hadn’t gained any subtly on the plane ride from Texas to Vermont. “This is a long shot, but are you hiring right now? Holiday season coming up and all.”

The young woman tilted her head to her right and put down the books. She stared unblinkingly at Caleb until he felt a hot wave of discomfort go down his spine. When she spoke, Caleb started. “Complete this phrase: ‘I before E-’”

“‘-except after C’,” Caleb answered with a barely held off laugh.

The girl brightened. “Well, you’ve passed the interview. Hang here. Be back in a tic.”

As he watched her bounce off, Caleb took a more lingering look around the bookstore. A pair of white boards were mounted on either side of the front door. On one was written the words: ‘Halloween carnival hell: standing in line 40 minutes to throw one beanbag at a piece of fruit for a pencil’, while the other had photos stuck to it with magnets. Leaning in to get a closer look at one of a young man about his age, Caleb breath caught in his chest.

“He is a looker, isn’t he? And I don’t even dig the equipment,” a gruff female voice startled Caleb, who whirled around.

The young woman from before had returned with an older girl, closer to Caleb’s age. She had shoulder length black hair and a calculating look fixed on Caleb.

“Introduction time,” the first girl announced with a clap of her hands. “I’m Sally. You are-?”

“Caleb Jordan. I just moved here.”

Sally smiled. “I know that. This is a teeny little hamlet here, if I don’t know you, you have to be new in town.” She hooked a thumb at the leather jacket-clad older girl who was sorting through the books on the counter, “Meet Dean Kemp, real name Deanna, but-“

“Call me that and I’ll show you the colour of your intestines,” came the matter-of-fact interjection.

Sally shrugged, “-yeah, she’ll warm up to you, give it time. She's quite a nice woman once you get past the ice-queen exterior, Amazonian crust and to the heart of the tundra.”

“I live to make the people smile and dance in the streets,” Dean replied with an eye roll.

A stream of profanity in a language Caleb guessed had something to do with one of Britain’s older tongues preceded a middle-aged man who strode in from a back room. “Sally, are you sure bathrooms really need a mirror? I feel a powerful urge to declare them banned in this store.” The man’s words slowed as he noticed Caleb. “Who is this?”

Sensing that the older man was probably the owner and because his Momma raised him right, Caleb politely said, “I’m Caleb Jordan, sir.”

“New guy,” Sally filled in as if that title were officially part of his name now.

“New Guy Caleb, what do you know about hanging mirrors?”

Caleb floundered a moment at the abrupt question. “Um, I manage.”

“Good. You’re hired. Cody, you’re fired. Get out before I disown you. Ben Madison,” the man pointed to himself. “We’ll get to the mirror-hanging part of your new duties when I get back from a long, mirror-free lunch.” With that, the man left.

“Um, did he mean?” Caleb started to ask.

“We hired you, like three minutes ago, New Guy,” Sally reached up to pat his cheek, “catch up. And oh my deities, you are freaking tall, dude. Think I pulled my shoulder out of alignment reaching up to you.”

Before Caleb could offer a witty retort, which he was still thinking of, another figure appeared from the back room.

“Sally, do you have the… who are you?” The man standing before Caleb was the same from the bulletin board, and Caleb’s mouth dried as he drank in the sight. At least six feet, if not a little over, dirty blonde hair slightly spiked up, glasses perched on a pert nose and a pair of bowlegs made up the object of Caleb’s immediate fantasies. “I’m Caleb,” he heard himself replying and mentally gave himself a cookie for remembering how to speak.

“Caleb. What are you doing here, Caleb?” The other man seemed perplexed.

Caleb responded with something that might one day grow up to be confidence with enough water and sun. “I work here.”

“Why wasn’t I notified? I wasn’t notified!” The man threw his arms up and Caleb tried not to notice how nicely the muscles moved for the gesture.

Sally rolled her eyes, “Sorry, Cody. I took the initiative and hired someone. He’s not normal at all. And he’s gay.”

Caleb jumped, “How the hell did you-“

“Called it! Pay up, Dean!” Sally pumped a fist into the air.

“You…guessed?”

The young woman was collecting a ten dollar bill from her friend. “I have the gaydar of a goddess. Tell him, Cody.”

The man called Cody repeated in a dutiful and dry voice, “Sally has the gaydar of a goddess.”

As if remembering something, Sally pointed to the man, “Oh, yeah. This is Cody. His dad, Ben, owns the joint. He signs our checks. Make nice with him. Or sleep with him-“

Cody whirled to face the girl, “Sally!”

“-that’s how I got the job,” Sally grinned.

Pushing up his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose, Cody sighed, “That’s a lie, I assure you. She’s my sister. Sorta.”

Sally shrugged. “I’m testing him on the weird scale. Consider it an after-the-fact interview.”

Caleb had to ask. “Sorta your sister?”

“Yeah,” Sally nodded, “Dad went and adopted me when I was a little abandoned tyke. They’re making a Lifetime film of it. I only hope that Neil Patrick Harris can really bring Cody’s fabulous gay sparkle to the screen.”

“There is no end to the ways I’m gonna kill you, sis,” Cody responded but an affectionate smile at the girl marred the stern voice he was attempting to use.

“So, new topic,” Sally clapped her hands. “Drew candy duty last night: I wanted to give every piece of candy we had to the two kids who were dressed up as Rorschach and Spock. You know, positive reinforcement for the next generation of geeks.”

Cody laughed and Caleb’s heart quickened while his gut leapt. A crush on the boss’s son; this was going to get inconvenient fast.