Excerpt: Yesterday Was Cool

It was a really nice walk. I mean, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t a particularly nice day of anything; it wasn’t a horrible one either. Its winter, and yesterday morning it was just looking like it might snow. It did snow, actually, but that was later. Later I danced in the snow with a guy I’d never met before, later I made snow angels, and later I cried. I cried quite a bit actually. But that’s all later. Right now I’m telling you about the morning, and I’d just met Sammy and I was walking to school, right? Right. Ok, so I was walking to school, and I was thinking about when I was little and watched Snow White and loved it. I don’t like many Disney Films. I love Toy Story. I’d marry Woody if that was in any way possible. And I thought Mulan was OK, but overall Disney films just aren’t my thing. But when I was little I was a big fan of Snow White. And you know how when she sings all the animals fall in love with her cause her voice is so awesome and then they’ll do what she says? Well I was looking around at the squirrels and the birds and the insects and imagining I could sing so beautifully I could make them do what I liked. Not that I can sing for shit, but it was a nice daydream.

That being said, if I could steal anyone’s musical ability it wouldn’t be Snow White’s. It would be Orpheus’s. Cause Snow White could make animals do what she liked, but Orpheus, he could make the gods do stuff for him, which is epic. He got them to send him to Hades and he got Hades to let him bring back his dead love from beyond the grave, which is kinda zombie-esque when you think about it, but it’s still amazing that the gods did that for him just cause he played music for them and it was that good. But Orpheus fucked up. See, Hades told him that he had to walk back out of the underworld without looking behind to see the love of his life who was following him, not till they got out back into the world of the living. And Orpheus managed it for a while, but he didn’t get all the way. He turned round and so the woman he loved went back to Hades and he was miserable for the rest of his life. Which is why, if I had his musical ability, I’d be cooler than him. Cause I wouldn’t turn around. I’d just keep walking. I wouldn’t look back.