Excerpt:

Dave leapt from the stage directly into the crowed of thousands of adoring fans. He quickly realized the mistake he made. Eager fingers began pulling and ripping his clothing while others pushed him on the crowd of surf. Then his wallet was ripped from his jeans. He didn't think this through. He felt someone punch him in the kidney it hurt. The surf had washed him to the stage left and he began to panic as he realized he was farther away from the stage and the bodyguards heads were drowning behind the faces like a scubadiver in water. He began to flail his hands and scream, "Let me down! For Jesus Christ Let me down!" The crowed began ravishing his body. He felt like a tied cow in a swarm of African Army Ants. His shit was strangling him. He began to feel dizzy. Just then the surf parted and the adorning fans allowed him to sink into the velumptious breasts of his future wife Amber.