Excerpt: They Feast On Flesh

Chapter 1 – The Dumb Arse’s Guide To Killing Zombies

First, I have to thank you for buying this booklet. In an ever-dwindling market, it is always a pleasure to find a new customer and possibly, a new fan.
Secondly I have to ask you, how the hell have you survived the zombie holocaust if you have had to go out and buy a ‘Dumb-Arse’s Guide To Killing Zombies’? It beggars belief that you’ve stayed alive long enough to realize that you need my expert help on this subject, that you have somehow found out where the booklet is stocked and have gotten there, purchased a copy and have arrived at a safe place where you are now reading it! Either you have been one lucky son-of-a-bitch or the zombies in your particular area are sub standard and easily avoided or defeated. Where I’m from they are not and, if you follow my advice, even a dumb-arse like you might even yet go on to survive and perhaps have a hand in seeding this desecrated world with warm, healthy, living human beings once more and perhaps even discover a solution to the zombie menace that has threatened humankind’s very existence.