Brief Author Bio:

A writer from way back, but never published, I have frittered away my life like the rest of America - working my tail off, running up debt, chasing that elusive dream that never materializes. Now, I am stuck in a job that only mildly interests me when the cops are called, raising three kids (I thought when they went away to college, that meant you could stop raising them, silly me), annoying my husband, flirting with financial disaster at every turn and trying to figure out how I, too, can be a superhero even though I don't own an iphone. Or an ipod.

I love life. That's why I haven't committed suicide. Yet.

There's nothing better in this world than laughter - especially when laughing is probably the least likely thing you expect to do.

And all of this serves to tell you nothing, so here it is:

I grew up the classic middle child in a small town with a poetic name (the town, not me), my parents never did anything interesting, stayed married and are now growing old and miserable together. I was forced to leave said small town with the poetic name to go to a state college where I left behind my precious, happy cheerleader image and delved into the wild world of college art school punks.

After a month and a half of that madness, I decided to stick with the thrift shop garb, but left behind drinking Robitussen for fun. Because all of that (the cigarettes and hair color) didn't come cheap, I also worked at Sears. After two years, I was burnt out so instead of hopping a train to somewhere interesting, I left Ball State and transferred to Indiana University in Bloomington. Such a wonderful place to be a young adult. I highly recommend it.

In between that and the next phase of life, I went to school in France. It's the only way to truly become fluent, you know. Go to France and try to buy cigarettes from a wiseacre tobacconiste who insists you pronounce Marlboros like you're a Parisian.

Soon after my return to the U.S., I met the man I would marry and make miserable for what appears to be the rest of his life. I quickly became obsessed with joining the ranks of the legally wed. Then came the fateful trip through the Carson Pirie Scott's baby department which triggered the Must Be a Mommy Hormone.

I fell ass-backward into a career in association management because I could speak, write and read in French. Go figure. I even did a five year stint at the world's largest membership organization, if you don't count the Catholic Church in that category. The Pope has a slightly larger membership than does AARP. Over the last, oh twenty years or so, I have cobbled together a decent living, but my passion has never been for my paid work.

I started blogging in 2006 and developed a small, but loyal, set of readers who are both smarter and funnier than I am. They let me hang around with them because I give great fashion advice, but more importantly, because I always carry gum, Lifesavers, M&Ms and Skittles in my pocketbook. With their encouragement to put up or shut up, I finally started writing in earnest (not quitting my job, though) a novel that is now at the near 30k words mark. It has been a slow process because I stop and edit. A lot. A lot alot. (I just stopped to edit here. Is it alot or a lot?)

Then today, my husband, that much maligned and sweet man who still puts up with me in all my incarnations, sent me the link to NaNoWriMo. And here I am.

I am ready and rearing to go. I am prepared to neglect my children further, ignore my friends, stay the hell off Facebook and Skype, give up British murder mysteries and force myself to even forgo the nightly run on the elliptical (now I finally have an excuse!). All so that I can achieve 50k words in 30 days. I can do this. You can do this. We can do this!!!

Did I mention that I was once a cheerleader? Yeah, okay, so shame me, but you can't stop me from what comes next.....GIMME AN "N!" GIMME AN "A!"....... you get the idea.

I have had a string of amazing lovers. None of them famous. Well, except for that one guy. But I think you'd consider him more infamous than famous.

That is all.