Excerpt: Jonathan's Dream

(Main characters Jonathan and his sister Chris are going into the basement of their grandfather's farmhouse for the first time. Pops never allowed anyone down there.)

“The basement door is double padlocked.”

“How many keys do you have?”

“Several.”

“Try the ones that look like they’re for padlocks.”

A while later a key slips into one of the locks. Jonathan discovers that it opens the second lock as well.

“Be careful. These steps are narrow and creaky. Some could be rotten.”

Once they reach the bottom of the stairs they find themselves in a mildewed basement. An old lawnmower, corroded gardening tools, and rusty rakes are to the left beside two worn wheelbarrows. A tool bench with a large assortment of tools is to the right. Seven or eight wooden packing crates are shoved under the bench. The crates contain cast iron skillets, Pyrex bowls, mismatched dishes, dusty canning jars, a colander, some cooking utensils, measuring cups, and other kitchen items. Two kerosene lamps hang on the wall near a bolted door.

“Look, here’s a door. On the back wall of the house this door is completely covered over now, you can't even tell that it is here from the outside wall. A ground level grassy area sloped downward to this door when I was a kid. I remember asking Pops to let me help him put the lawnmower and rakes away. He would never let me down here. I could go in the barn but this basement was always strictly off-limits."

Chris shines her flashlight around.

“I don’t understand Jon. There isn’t anything here that’s out of the ordinary.”

“Keep looking.”

“Keep looking for what?”

“I don’t know. I hoped we’ll find something.”

They rummage through the crates and examine everything. Chris is right; there is nothing out of the ordinary down here. When they start to go upstairs they notice firewood under the staircase.

“Jon, should we move the firewood?”

“It just looks like firewood, Chris.”

It is snuggly stacked. Together they remove a few pieces. Finally, part of a doorframe is exposed and then another set of double padlocks.

“This is strange Jon.”

“Yeah, it is very weird. If this leads to another room it has to be dug under the basement because there’s no space for a room to be on the other side of this door.”

He tries the keys and one unlocked both bolts.

When they open the door they find a sturdy spiral staircase descending into the dark underground. Jonathan walks down the stairs with Chris tentatively following behind him.

“I think I’m getting scared Jon.”

“Don’t be afraid. The only things we’ll probably find down here are rats and spiders.”

Finally the white bright light of their flashlights meets a dim yellow light glowing toward them and a faint drone of muffled humming sounds become audible.

“That doesn’t sound like rats to me.”

“Me either.”

“Pops should have told us about this.”

“I’m beginning to think that Pops should have told us about a lot of things.”

At last they reach the last stair and find themselves standing on a ten foot round marble floor, a circling stone wall surrounding them. Built into the wall is a door with a small handle. Jonathan grabs the handle and pulls the door open to a flood of soothing light. Neither of them can believe their eyes.

*******
(Second excerpt.)

It has been three months since the shocking day Jonathan and Chris first met the two aliens living beneath their grandfather’s basement. The aliens were invisible. They politely donned humanoid bodies because hearing their voices without seeing bodies freaked Chris out.

It doesn’t matter what you believe about UFOs, if you could set foot into this sleek interactive multimedia spaceship simulator pod filled with sophisticated scientific instruments you’d believe in the existence of unidentified alien beings.

These two had quickly introduced themselves. Their unusual names were “12-21-3-25” and “5-12-22-9-19” but that proved to be too difficult for Jonathan and Chris to say. So, the numbers were applied to letters of the alphabet to create names. For Lucy, L: 12th letter in the alphabet, U: 21st letter, C: 3rd letter, and Y: 25th letter. For Elvis, E: 5th letter, L: 12th letter, V: 22nd letter, I: 9th letter, and S: 19th letter.

*******
(Third excerpt. Jonathan and Chis now live at their grandfather's farmhouse out in the country. They work in Medford, Oregon.)

Jonathan walks into the kitchen buttoning up his shirt. His hair is damp from taking his shower, “Chris, want to go some place in Ashland?”

“Yes, let’s go to Morning Glory Restaurant, its still early enough to get there in time to have lunch. Also, we need oatmeal. We’re nearly out. Hummmm, I feel like a grilled lamb burger. Doesn’t that sound delicious?”

Jonathan glances at the pantry door, “We’re almost out of oatmeal? You gotta be kidding me?”

“Yep, we have half a bag, that’s all.”

He groans, “Do you have any idea how much we’re spending on Moroccan oatmeal every month? It’s ridiculous. Also, what in the world are you telling Patricia? Surely she’s noticed the increased volume we’re buying. You’ve probably purchased more in the last eighteen months than all you’ve bought since we first started going to Morning Glory 10-11 years ago!”

Chris refills the back porch water bowls with fresh water and checks the dog and cat food dispensers to make sure they are both at least half full.

“Of course Patricia has noticed. I tell her I’m buying for us and for other people too, neighbors and co-workers. It isn’t a lie. Technically, Elvis is a “neighbor” and he is a “co-worker” too. Jon, I can’t say no to him. It’s his favorite food.”

“You’re spoiling him rotten and sorry kiddo---it is a lie, theoretically.

Chris looks mortified. Jonathan flashes a big grin and sits down at the kitchen table with his socks in his hands, “Elvis may indeed be a neighbor and a co-worker, I’ll give you that Chris, but he’s definitely not a person. You’ve lied, you have lied, ha, ha, ha, ha, you have told a LIE!”

Chris frowns and her cheeks flush red. A stranger wouldn’t understand why she is embarrassed but Jonathan knows why and, as usual, he is having enormous fun at her expense. He is laughing so hard he can barely tie his shoes. There is a side to him that remains sophomoric no matter how old he gets. He relishes every opportunity to joke about her odd quirks. It’s annoying but she supposes it is a brother thing. She wishes he had some peculiarities that she could make fun of but, except for being unwilling to sit on the inside seats of trains, buses, or commercial airplanes, he absolutely must have an aisle seat, he doesn’t have any abnormal eccentricities.

Since she was a little girl she has had an obsessive idiosyncrasy about telling lies. She cannot stand to ever lie unless she is deliberately being untruthful briefly to conceal a surprise birthday party or something like that. Jonathan loves pointing out whenever she is unintentionally blurring the truth. To her dismay he is right in this case, she did inadvertently lie to Patricia when she said she was buying the oatmeal for other people. From now on she’ll remember to only say she’s buying it for neighbors and co-workers---and leave it at that.

Chris grabs her purse, “I can spoil him if I want to.”

Elvis has hearing so finely tuned that he hears them talking when they’re in any room in the house. He speaks loud enough for them to hear his opinion on the subject.

“I’m not at all spoiled, I simply like oatmeal. It is a nutritious breakfast and a healthy snack. I can’t help it; I don’t like oatmeal if Patricia doesn't make it."

Jonathan stomps on the floor for emphasis, “Elvis, you do not like regular inexpensive oatmeal. You like connoisseur Moroccan oatmeal, the premium gourmet kind. We can’t afford the amount you are eating!”

“What can I say, like that L’Oréal slogan, I deserve it because I’m worth it.

Jonathan groans and takes his truck keys from the wall hanging plack. It is a varnished pine wood owl with “Never Lost” across its chest and four brass hooks for keys. He made it for his mother in shop class when he was in seventh grade. Nellie liked owls.

“Oh my goodness Chris, now he’s quoting commercials again. Let’s go!”

Chris giggles, “The L’Oréal commercial is for females Elvis, not for males.”

“Oh please Chris, we mustn’t split hairs with trifling semantics, females, males, whatever---studying the history of popular commercials is an essential part of social science because, as you both know, commercials expose a great deal about human nature on multiple levels. I specialize in sociology because it is so wonderfully revealing and interesting.”

Elvis smiles to himself, “So easy a caveman can do it! It slices, it dices! Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful! This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs! I can’t believe I ate the whole thing! You’ll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent! Nothin' says lovin' like something from the oven. Pillsbury says it best! Mmm mmm good! Strong enough for a man but made for a woman! Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids! You’re gonna love the way you look, I guarantee it! Steak sauce only a cow could hate! A little dab will do ya!”

Jonathan opens the kitchen door that leads to the back porch, “Chris, now he’s showing off! Let’s get outta here!”

Elvis yells, “Chris, remember my oatmeal! Don't forget! Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun! Are you in good hands? Say it with flowers! I dreamed I stopped traffic in my Maidenform bra! You deserve a break today! How do you spell relief? Good to the last drop! A nose in need deserves Puffs indeed! Mama mia, that’s a spicy meatball! A diamond is forever! Think outside the bun! The breakfast of champions! Please don't squeeze the Charmin! Let your fingers do the walking! Is it live, or is it Memorex? Takes a licking and keeps on ticking! Finger lickin' good! Just Do It! Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there! Reach out and touch someone! Snap, Crackle, Pop, Rice Krispies! When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight! Where’s the beef? Plop, plop; fizz, fizz; oh, what a relief it is!”

*******
(This fourth excerpt illustrates how I'm deliberately trying to increase my word count. Most literary agents, editors, and publishers shutter at excessively drawn-out paragraphs but these wordy paragraphs definitely help to increase the novel’s word count.)

After lunch Chris buys eight bags of Moroccan oatmeal and then Jonathan drives to the feed and fuel store to buy some salt licks, birdseed, bales of hay, and apple pellet treats for Banjo and Wild Boy. The rustic barn style old wood building has a hand lettered cardboard sign propped beside an antique cash register: THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP CHICKS. The workhorse register is an 18 inch wide Model 332 nickel plate over brass originally shipped from the factory in 1910. It still packs a strong stomach punch when the drawer flies open.

The store smells of dust, grain, bag balm, chickens, and molasses. The sagging aisle shelves and metal racks hold farm and animal supplies, feed bags, fly swatters, rope, John Wayne and John Deere coffee mugs, birdhouses, galvanized buckets, work gloves, animal medicines and supplements, dry goods, and just about anything a farmer or rancher could possibility want except guaranteed fair weather when fair weather is needed, and guaranteed rain when rain is needed. Jonathan knows the place by heart, he’s been good friends with the old-timers, the store owners, the clerks, and many of the local customers for two decades because this was his favorite store when he was a little boy and he worked here part-time when he was in high school.

Chris makes a beeline to her preferred one half of the store. It has saddles, bridles, tack, equine books, grooming supplies, riding blankets, chaps, western wear clothing, men’s shirts with pearlized snap buttons, Bolo ties, suspenders, fancy gloves, Long John underwear, Indian head nickel cuff links, ladies broom skirts, pretty lace trimmed women’s camisoles and tees, handkerchiefs, blue jeans, suede vests, oilskin dusters, fancy dress and sturdy work boots and shoes, moccasins, fleece lined house slippers, silver and turquoise jewelry, purses, belt buckles, fringed jackets, country style gifts, “Homemade by Grandma” jams, jellies, and other food stuffs, Farmer’s Almanacs, cookbooks, potholders, cast iron cookware, calendars, coasters, trivets, aprons, wooden clothespins, tractor clocks, funny magnets, an amazingly large collection of salt and pepper shakers, kettles, harmonicas, and cowboy hats in every size. Chris puts a combo pack with a bristled brush and a metal hoof pick in a shopping basket and from another aisle she selects a circular metal curry comb. On a display table is a leafless tree branch with beautiful crystals hanging on fishing line. She chooses a faceted oval crystal for Lucy.

In the back of the store is a battered forklift, some worn pallets, ladders, fencing stakes and massive rolls of wire, bales of hay and straw, bulk grains and feeds, farming tools and equipment, gardening tools, cases of quart sized Ball wide mouth glass mason jars with lids and bands, barrels, and an animal area with chirping baby chicks, young cock-a-doodle-do roosters, fuzzy ducklings, soft rabbits, chewing hamsters, and nose nudging guinea pigs. Attached to the baby chick cage is another hand lettered cardboard sign: THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP CHICKS. When Jonathan and Chris are done shopping they meet at the register to pay for their purchases. Chris grabs a bag of Pawbreakers, catnip candy for cats. Jonathan has some supplies and several cans of red paint to paint their faded barn.

*******
(Fifth excerpt: Some of my fellow Shakespearean loving friends are delighted that I selected Ashland, Oregon as one of the primary locations for this novel. Because they’re loyally reading my posted excerpts I am happy to select another one especially for them. Thanks so much for the encouragement. The days are rushing by. I hope I will make it to 50,000 words by November 30th. I’ll surely try. Note: The following Shakespearean quotes, and any other quotes, are not included in my NaNo word count. They will be included in the novel---but not in my NaNo word count.)

“Chris, I want to go to Morning Glory. Patricia has Shakespearean actors as customers. It would be excellent sociology research for me to study some real actors. Please, you must take me. Besides, I want to meet her.”

“Elvis, I don’t think Jon would ever approve. He doesn’t trust you to exercise discretion with ordinary people who are inexperienced with aliens. Also, the place is small. We may have to wait for a table.”

Elvis looks surprised, “Nonsense, we wouldn’t have to wait. I can just---”

Chris puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head emphatically. “You can not! Patricia would not appreciate you manipulating the appetites of her customers so they’ll hurry up and leave!”

“Oh come on, humans order more food than they can eat all the time, especially Americans. They often ask for carryout bags. I like that the restaurant is small, it will be easy to eavesdrop on the tables around us. I could have my oatmeal; you could have that blackberry compote thing you love, and we could eat ever so leisurely while I inconspicuously did my research.”

Elvis leaps before Chris with a solemn expression upon his face and begins quoting Othello’s final speech:

“Soft you; a word or two before you go.
I have done the state some service, and they know't.
No more of that. I pray you, in your letters,
When you shall these unlucky deeds relate,
Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate,
Nor set down aught in malice: then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely but too well;
Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought
Perplex'd in the extreme; of one whose hand,
Like the base Indian, threw a pearl away
Richer than all his tribe; of one whose subdued eyes,
Albeit unused to the melting mood,
Drop tears as fast as the Arabian trees
Their medicinal gum. Set you down this;
And say besides, that in Aleppo once,
Where a malignant and a turban'd Turk
Beat a Venetian and traduced the state,
I took by the throat the circumcised dog,
And smote him, thus.”

He then makes believe that he’s snatching a knife from midair, acts as if he is stabbing himself, and dramatically crumbles to the floor. Chris laughs when he desperately struggles to raise himself upon his elbow.

“I kiss'd thee ere I kill'd thee: no way but this; killing myself, to die upon a kiss.”

He then falls back and pretends to die spectacularly.

Chris claps, “This did I fear, but thought he had no weapon; for he was great of heart. Bravo Elvis! Bravo! Bravo!”

Elvis scrambles to his feet, “So, you’ll think about it? I promise I’ll patiently wait for a table without complaining or “influencing” the available seating, I will politely eat my oatmeal, and be the most charming customer Patricia has ever encountered.”

“All right Elvis, I won’t make any promises but I will think about it. I have to seriously think about this.”

He grins mischievously, “Splendid! Perhaps we shouldn’t mention this to Jon.”

Chris nods in quick agreement, “Definitely, we mustn’t!”

Jonathan walks in to the pod room, “Shouldn’t mention what?”

Elvis grabs a document, “This, we didn’t want to mention it until more data came in.”

Later, after Jonathan leaves the room Elvis explains to an ashamed Chris. “You’re the one who is hung up about always telling the truth. Lucy and I appreciate that a little innocent blurring of the truth can be helpful from time to time. After all, why should we worry Jonathan with this? He’d only stress out about it. Stress is deadly for humans. Many of you slumber in early graves because of it.”

*******
(Sixth excerpt: This is another example of my effort to INCREASE the word count. When I do revisions this section may be trimmed. We’ll see.)

Chris picks up a thick journal book and glances through the pages. Elvis knows she is captivated with his personal journal and he allows her to read it anytime she wishes. He records observations about people and interesting tidbits that he believes are worthy of note. He has hundreds of entries; Chris reads several out loud to Lucy and Jonathan.

“President Barack Obama worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and he can speak Spanish. In his last will and testament William Shakespeare left his wife his second best bed. Macbeth is believed to be Shakespeare’s most produced play. Wow, a performance of Macbeth begins somewhere in the world every four hours! Nearly all babies are born with blue or blue-grey eyes. Permanent eye coloration develops during the following months. A British couple, Percy and Florence Arrowsmith held the record for the longest lasting marriage in the Guinness Book of World Records. The marriage lasted 80 years before the death of Percy Arrowsmith, aged 105, in mid 2005. Walt Disney didn’t graduate from high school. Thomas Edison had five dots tattooed on his left forearm. No one knew what the dots meant.”

Chris thumbs through some more pages and stops on a page titled: Mark Twain.

“Oh, I love Mark Twain. Hummm, he was interested in parapsychology, I didn’t know that. “

Jonathan frowns, “What is parapsychology?”

Lucy smiles and clicks the computer screen on in front of Jonathan. She types parapsychology + wikipedia. The definition of parapsychology appears before them.

Chris continues reading, “Oh, everybody knows that Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance. My goodness, listen to this: Pablo Picasso’s full name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso. Can you believe that? What were his parents thinking?"

She chuckles and pokes Jonathan, “They probably allowed his older brother to name him!”

Chris turns the page, “Sigmund Freud was deathly afraid of the number 62 and would not book a room in any hotel with more than 62 rooms in case he was allotted that particular room. Men lose about 40 hairs a day. Women lose about 70 hairs a day. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. The Barbie doll is named after the daughter of the original inventor, Barbara. A pig can’t look up at the sky. A camel can drink 27 gallons of water in ten minutes. Scientists believe that early whales actually walked the earth. The theory, supported by recent fossil finds in the foothills of the Himalayas, is that about 53.5 million years ago, whales were amphibious.”

Chris stops reading, “Did they walk 53.5 years ago?”

Elvis hands her a disc titled: Whales

Chris sets the disc beside her and continues to read, “There are over 300 different breeds of horses. The mosquito is attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. DNA in all humans is 99.9 percent identical. It is about one tenth of one percent that makes us all unique. Our genes are remarkably similar to those of other life forms. For example, we share 98% of our genes with chimpanzees, 90% with mice, 85% with zebra fish, 21% with worms. Crickets have their hearing organs in their knees. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open and it is believed if your eyes were held open during a sneeze, your eyes would pop out. In a lifetime, an average man will shave 20,000 times. It is not possible to tickle yourself. The cerebellum, a part of the brain, warns the rest of the brain that you are about to tickle yourself. Since your brain knows this, it ignores the resulting sensation. There are over 4,000 dangerous chemicals in cigarettes, cigars, and pipe smoke and you are likely to live 14 years longer if you don’t smoke. John Lennon saw a UFO in 1974.”

Chris looks at Lucy and Lucy nods.

Chris looks at the journal again, “Shall I keep reading?”

Jonathan smiles, “Yes, this is fun.”

“Okay, here are some more things about the Beatles. They won 14 Grammy awards, John had such bad eyesight he was officially registered blind, and Paul wrote ‘Hey Jude’ while sitting in his car. Oh, and George became a Beatle when he was only fourteen-years-old.”

Jonathan asks, “What about Ringo, there is nothing about Ringo?”

“Of course there’s stuff about Ringo. His first job was as a delivery boy. He is left handed, although he plays the drums and the guitar right handed. He’s 5’ 8” tall and his favorite color is red. He has blue eyes. He was so sure that Beatle fame would be brief that he sent large amounts of money to his aunt to deposit in a bank account while he was on tour with the band. His intention was to start a hair salon once the Beatles faded from public memory. Oh wow, the next page is about corn. Elvis, how do you go from Ringo Starr to corn?”

Elvis shrugs, “I write in my journal randomly. Nothing is in any particular order. I just collect interesting data.”

Chris smiles, “Okay, let me tell you all about corn. Corn is native to the Americas, and some form of it was probably growing 7,000 years ago by Native American Indians. There are hundreds of varieties of corn and all of them are Indian corn. The world’s largest popcorn ball, as measured by the Guiness Book of World Records is 12 feet in diameter, containing 2,000 pounds of popcorn, 40,000 pounds of sugar, 280 gallons of corn syrup, and 400 gallons of water. Next we have information about champagne. Dom Perignon a Benedictine monk at the Abbey of Hautvillers invented champagne and there are approximately 49 million bubbles in a regular bottle of Champagne. Now I’m on a page without a category title. Out of 20,000 species of bees, only 4 make honey. If you swallow your chewing gum, it will stay in your stomach for seven years. All mushrooms are fungi but not all fungi are mushrooms. Olive trees can live for more than 1,500 years. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave. The ice cream cone is an Italian invention. Now we are away from food. The typewriter is an Italian invention. Butterflies taste with their feet. The United States has 3,500,000 miles of rivers. The Sun is around 4.5 billion years old and Earth is estimated to be 4.5 billion years old. Recycling one ton of paper saves about 17 trees. There have been over 20,000 books written about the game of chess. Humans use only 10 percent of their brains. It took $7,500,000 to build the Titanic, approximately 20,000,000 tons of iceberg to sink it, and $200,000,000 to make a movie about it. Approximately 45.2% of people urinate in the shower, approximately 44.9% urinate in the ocean, and approximately 28.1% urinate in swimming pools. The human population of the world is expected to be nearly tripled by the year 2100.”

Jonathan groans, “That is a whole lot of peeing. I am approximately 99.9% disgusted.”

Chris laughs, “Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words."

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(Seventh and final excerpt, please send me an email if you'd like publishing information about this novel. Email: Pacini.Novelist@gmail.com)

Jonathan joins Chris on the front porch. The sun is sinking. Red, orange, and violet colors blur into one another on a canvas of dusky twilight.

“What’cha doing Chris?

“Thinking about Dad.”

“I think about him a lot too, especially since we moved here. You know, of all the people ever born, Dad may be the one ordinary guy who has experienced the most remarkable life a person can ever hope to experience and we cannot tell anyone. To everyone else, even to CJ, Dad is an unfortunate victim of a random crime, a man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m proud to be his son.”

“I want to see him.”

“We can’t. He can’t come back. When he left Earth he knew the requirements. It was a hard decision to make but I don’t blame him for going.”

“I want to go there; I want to go to him.”

Jonathan didn’t expect to ever hear Chris say that. He had thought about joining their father, had seriously considered asking Elvis and Lucy if he could. But he knew the world needed him to carry on this work. Jonathan’s dream had shown what the future of the earth would be if he and others did not fight to save it. He could not join his father, his place was here.

“Jonathan, I want to ask Elvis and Lucy to petition for me to join Dad. If it can be allowed I want to do it. You can do for me what we think Pops did for Dad. You can make sure that a police investigation is carried out and concluded with me simply being missing and presumed dead. Staging some kind of parking lot abduction would be too similar to Dad’s case---we must do something else. You could say I went sailing, nobody would question that because we both love sailing. We could take our sailboat out to sea and use a raft to get back to shore. The coast guard would find the sailboat after you report me missing. Everyone would assume that I was lost at sea. I’m not married and I don’t have children. You have Kerri and I think you should ask her to marry you. We should introduce her to Lucy and Elvis. We can trust her Jonathan and she would be a good helpmate to you. I’ve given this a lot of thought. Joining Dad is something I want to do so much that it’s always on my mind.”

Jonathan looks at her solemn face, “Christmas Noel, you’re my little sister. How can I live without you? We’ve shared so much; we have done so much together. I can’t fathom life without you in it.”

She reaches and takes his hand as tears fall down his cheeks, “You could live without me and I could live without you as Momma and Pops lived without being with Dad. I love you with all my heart but you have Kerri. Her place is by your side. It is not my place to keep forever Jonathan. Dad has been without his family for so many years. He sacrificed and he’s helped this world from where he is. So much of the data we have comes from work Dad has helped do, it comes from research he’s helped compile. I can go be with him, a family member.”

Jonathan cannot speak. His voice is lost in the sad realization that what his dear sister is saying is reasonable. His father deserves having at least one family member with him.

*******