Excerpt: The Inescapable Rut of Alice Miser

My name is Alice Miser. I am twenty-four years old, technically a sophomore in college (emphasis on the technically), and am currently sitting on a barstool in a tiny hole in the wall called Spooner’s of all things, watching my Guinness settle. It is two-thirteen on a Thursday afternoon, and I think I am about to kill myself. Today is September fourth, the weather is brisk, but not really chilly and the leaves on campus have yet to even think about changing color. Classes have been in session for roughly nine or ten days, and I’ve already been reduced to trying to find an alcoholic solution to my problems. Fast work, I guess. But still, overall a pleasant day weather-wise to spend contemplating drowning in the bath or tossing oneself off a bridge.