“Congratulations,” said the real estate agent. “It’s all yours as soon as you sign this last sheet.”

"What’s this one?” Audrey asked cheerfully, anticipating move-in day. She was making a big, beautiful, triumphant “A” on the signature line when Jenny told her.

“A homeowner’s association?”

“Well, of course, honey,” Jenny said breezily. “All new developments have HOAs these days.”

Audrey stopped writing and looked down at the agreement. Her flamboyant “A” squiggled off below the line where she’d twitched in surprise.

“I don’t really like HOAs,” she said. “I thought I explained that to you at the start.”

“This place is perfect for you, though,” Jenny said. “You know you love it. The association isn’t that bad.”

She stopped staring blankly at the paper and put her pen down to read it more carefully.

“You’ve got a lot of earnest money tied up in this house,” the agent said, her voice tightening.

Audrey ignored her and read.

“This says they have the right to inspect the premises at any time, without warning,” she said.

“Seven thousand dollars earnest money,” Jenny replied, and she looked up at her, narrowing her eyes.

“This says they can inspect the premises at any time, even if I’m not home,” she repeated, and Jenny looked down at her leather binder.

“That’s not uncommon with homeowners’ associations, and they don’t inspect everyone all the time,” she said stiffly. “It’s just there for problem neighbors, as a matter of last resort. You’re not going to be a problem, though. You’re such a sweetie, everything’s going to be great. The association provides your cable and garbage pickup and maintains the pool and helps protect the value of your home. Would you have wanted the place if the house next door were painted purple or there were a bunch of cars up on blocks?”

Yes, I probably would, she thought bitterly. To each his own. She considered her mental view of her new street, with the houses having a certain sameness she’d chalked up to the fact that the neighborhood was new and there hadn’t been time for gardens and personalized touches yet, and wondered if the homogenized housing was intentional.

“This also says there’s a bible for me to go over and study before signing.”

“Well, yes,” Jenny said, “But it’s huge, and really just a formality. There’s no way you’ll be able to read it today.”

“Do you have it?”

“No. There’s probably a copy waiting for you on your kitchen counter, though.”

“So no one intended me to read it before closing on the house.”

What else is there I don’t want to know, she wondered morosely, her good mood shot to hell in a minute.

There was a short silence while Audrey read and Jenny tried to look encouraging.

“Really, it’s going to be fine,” Jenny said. ”No one ever reads those things before they buy. Lots of people never even read them at all, and never have any trouble with their HOA.”

Seven thousand dollars, she thought. It’ll take me months to save that much up again. My lease is up tomorrow, and Michael is there right now, watching the movers pack my truck to make sure they don’t take anything he wants to keep. I should be there making sure I’m keeping my own stuff.

She clicked the pen a few more times. Jenny’s eyes flicked to the pen, then away.

Annoys you, does it? she thought, and clicked a few more times for good measure. Does it make you nervous? Are you afraid I won’t sign? Got somewhere else you need to be? Some other sucker to coax into signing?

The pen stopped clicking, and she looked down to find that she’d forced the button in so hard that it stuck. The writing part of the pen was sticking farther out of the barrel than it used to. She looked sadly at the pen, then at the paper, and sighed. No other choices. Time to sign, and hope for the best.

When she pressed the point to the paper, it popped back into its proper place, and the ink flowed smoothly.

“Excellent,” Jenny chirped when she was done signing her life away. “Here’s your keys. Sorry to be brusque, but I’m late for my next appointment. Welcome to the neighborhood.”

Audrey made a rough calculation of Jenny’s commission, not counting any kickbacks she might be making from the developer, as Audrey was starting to suspect. If she sold only one house a month, she was earning more than Audrey was. Audrey made a slow show of picking up her purse and wandering out of the office, conveniently located on the grounds of the neighborhood.

Maybe next time I’ll get my own agent instead of using the recommended one, she thought.

Despite her rush to get back to the condo and see what damage Michael had wrought with her movers, Audrey couldn’t help driving slowly past her new home.

And turning into the driveway..

And getting out of the car to admire it.

Home sweet home. A little large for her, but located in a safe, quiet, neighborhood. And brand new, with big windows and a yard just the right size. She loved the kitchen and the way the sun fell in the afternoon. She planned a garden beneath the lving room window, and thought about furniture for the front porch. There was a deck out back, too, and she wasn’t sure where she’d spend the most time. Maybe she’d wait to buy anything for the front porch till she got used to the rhythm here.

A car drove slowly down the street behind her, then stopped, and she turned.
It was a little two-seater sports car of some kind. Expensive looking. The passenger-side window buzzed down and the driver leaned over.

“That house is sold,” he called to her. “But if you’re interested, there’s another one just like it down the street a little way.”

Audrey flinched.