Excerpt: Just A Boy From Earth

Prologue

Sector 8023, Third Quadrant
Sol System, Earth
Britannia, Grange
20th August 5062

“Jaaaaaaames!”

Jameson Vane was not expecting to be screamed at this early in the morning. In fact he was still in bed, catching some well-needed rest, which he rather felt he deserved having spent yesterday serving his wife’s every whim.

It was that wife who was screaming at him now and he pulled a pillow over his head with an “Ugh…”

“Jamesoooon!” The scream was twice as loud now and seemed to be coming from the ensuite bathroom. Jameson hated that bathroom, he barely got to use it and despite the fact it was supposed to be top of the range the toilet was always breaking down and giving false readings and spraying everywhere.

That being the case, he figured that he better get up, Alina had an unfortunate tendency to lose her head at these moments and forget that toilet repair was just a button press away.

“It’s the green one, love,” he groaned climbing out of bed and heading to the ensuite. “Remember?”

But when he entered the bathroom he found no spraying toilet or computerised voice proclaiming ‘Non-waste material’ instead Alina was bent double, sitting on the edge of the tub.

“Love?”

Alina’s only response is an inarticulate moan.

“Oh shit! It’s the baby isn’t it?”

Alina looks up with a glare. “Duuuh!”

Jameson waved his hands in a spectacularly helpless manner, he really should be prepared for this moment, he’d had nine whole months to prepare. But no, the baby was coming and all he could do was wave his hands.

“Jameson, stop it!” Alina howled. “Help me!”

“Right!” He hurries over and grabs her around the waist and attempts to haul her into a standing position.

“Hey! Watch it! I’ve got bones.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jameson attempts to move a lot more slowly and Alina finally gets to her feet.

Escorting her from the bathroom, Jameson throws out an elbow and hits a button. “Medic, please!”

The two of them move slowly, out into the hallway and towards the stairs, why oh why did they insist on stairs and not a lift? Bloody hell what a ridiculous idea!

“You can do it, love! Come on…”

Alina gives his arm a swat. “I know I can! Oww!”

The medic would arrive any moment and could probably help, but they charge extra and not a small amount neither Vane wanted to pay for that.

Through some miracle – perhaps Jameson even managed to lift his wife and carry her down the stairs, the two reached the ground level as the front door slid open and the medic rushed in.

“Alina Vane, 38, first stage of labour, delivery time estimated ten-twenty pm.” The small scanner on the medic’s belt takes in the situation immediately.

“What? That’s…that’s hours from now!” Alina splutters.

The medic gives an apologetic shrug. “Sorry, ma’am, would you like to remain here? Or –“

“No!” Alina actually stamps her foot. “Does it look like I’ve got the place set up for a birth, get me outta here! And get me some drugs…please,” she adds rather belatedly.

The medic seems to find the whole thing amusing, while the scanner sends the information onto the local hospital some fifty miles away. “Righto, ma’am, we’ll help you into the hover.” He nods towards Jameson, and he’s glad to get some help.

With Alina between them Jameson and the medic head out into the morning, a beautiful day….Jameson just has to pause briefly to admire the cloudless sky and the chirping birds, at least until Alina gives another wail.

Obviously now was not the time…

~*~

“It’s unbelievable, just unbelievable…how long have human being existed?! Hundreds of thousands of years! And how far have we come in that time?! A shuttle to some galaxy I’ve never heard of left two hours ago, but do you think they can make childbirth easier? Oooooh noooo.”

Jameson gave his wife his most sympathetic smile from the chair beside her bed.

It doesn’t work. “Don’t smirk at me,” Alina wags a finger at him. “Sure they can give me a ceasar, but Goddesses! Do I need that? Do I want that? No!”

“I’m sorry, love…isn’t the drip working?”

“Oh, it’s working, but it’s just…annoying,” she flops back against the pillows.

“Well, it’ll all be worth it in the end won’t it?” Jameson pats her bulging bump.

She gives him a smirk. “Maybe not…your genes propergating? Oh dear.”

Jameson gives a loud laugh. “What about you? Look at that hair!” He reaches out and gives the red curls a tussle.

“Hair can be fixed, but personality issues? Not so easy.”

“You’re cruel, love, just cruel.” Jameson makes a show of pouting, which is always guaranteed to make Alina melt.

And so it does this time, with a giggle she leans over and kisses his forehead. “No really, our child will be just perfect, I know it.”

~*~

“ARRRRRRGH!”

It was a lot noisier than Jameson expected that was for sure, Alina was of course a drama queen, but he was pretty sure she wasn’t acting right now. He threw a look over at the doctor, who gave him a reassuring look.

“Is this broken?” Alina moans once she gets her breath back, pointing to the drip system. “Owww.”

Jameson steps over to take a look because…maybe it was, but no everything was in order. He takes his wife’s hand again and gives it a squeeze. “It’ll be OK, love, come on, just a few more pushes.”

Alina gives him her most withering look. “Oh really, wanna swap places.”

Jameson could most assuredly say he didn’t, but if it made Alina feel any better, every time she squeezed his hand he felt like bones were been crushed.

“Good.” Was his ever loving wife’s response to this.

But there was one piece of good news, the clock on the wall, only five minutes to go…if the scanner was to be believed and in Jameson’s experience it was never wrong.

And it certainly wasn’t this time, as the minute hand hit twenty past, there was a screech from Alina, a groan from Jameson as she almost crushed his hand and the cry of a newborn baby.

“3 kilograms, 2 ounces, 47 point 5 centimetres, boy,” the medical scanner intoned. “Healthy lungs, heart rate hundred twenty beats per minute.”

The screams from the tiny baby was more than enough to indicate healthy lungs in Jameson’s opinion.

“No indicators of disease or defect, but height and weight fifteen percent below average.”

The medic invited Jameson to cut the cord, which he managed to with some difficulty…Alina really did a number on his hand and with a quick clean by the disinfector and the new Vane was handed over to his mother.

“Oooo, he’s gorgeous,” Alina cooed, tears in her eyes. “Look at him James, isn’t he just the loveliest baby you’ve ever seen?”

Jameson had in fact not seen too many babies in his time, and certainly none newborn ones and their new baby seemed quite…squashed.

But he was smart enough not to say so.

“He’s fabulous, love.” Jameson put his arm around his wife’s shoulders and carefully reached out with an index finger to touch the baby’s head.

“He needs a name! James, we haven’t thought of a name!”

They hadn’t…which was kind of typical, but at the same time horribly embarrassing. The scanner was waiting to record all that down and here they were without a clue.

Jameson scratches the back of his neck with his free hand. “Well…um…wow...” At that moment the only name that comes to mind is his own and he never wanted to be one of those parents who names their kid after themselves.

Alina meanwhile looks about the room as if hoping to find inspiration that way, which is rather dangerous, because most of the items in the room just aren’t compatiable with human naming.

The blinking of the light on the scanner doesn’t make it any easier and finally the two look at each other.

“Can we get back to you on that name?”

~*~

A baby needs a name, no doubt about it.

Or maybe not… Five days after the birth, Alina was wondering about it herself. After all, it wasn’t as if babies needed to come when they were called, or would be able to identify themselves. Gorgeous boy seem to suffice quite well for now.

“We can’t do that!” Jameson objected when she suggested it though. “He’ll be teased for the rest of his days!”

“We’re you listening?” Alina rolls her eyes. “We’ll give him a name soon enough. I just can’t think of one right now.”

“Never fear, love! There’s tonnes of names right at our fingertips!” Jameson makes a few inputs in the control pad a top the nightstand and a screen appears. “Info-net.”

Of course, Alina laughs, trust Jameson to go there, her husband loves that Info-net, always looking up the latest in engineering designs.

On the accompany holo-keyboard, Jameson types in the necessary search terms and…

“Ta-da! Look at ‘em all!” He waves his hand. “Any name you could want.”

“Yes, but James, we don’t know what name we want.” Alina feels the need to remind him.

“Well, we’ve got some idea, don’t we?” Jameson takes a look at their baby in Alina’s arms. “Something…you know, nice.”

Alina rolls her eyes. “Well, of course.”

“Maybe a name like yours,” Jameson suggests.

“It’s a little girly, don’t you think?”

Jameson pokes her in the arm. “I mean a Slavic name, they’ve got a certain…whatever that French word is.”

“Je ne sais quoi?”

“Yeah that!” Jameson’s face brightens right up and he types in some more search terms. “Look, there they all are…Besnik, that’s interesting.”

“Er…no…” Alina shakes her head. “It just sounds…bizarre…”

But hey, she’ll take a good look at the list…rather extensive and most names on them were just…weird.

“Ooo! Look at this one!” She points.

Jameson leans in to look at the name. “Marek…”

“Marek Vane!” Alina adds, bouncing the baby in her arms. “Doesn’t it just sound…fabulous?”

Jameson grins. “It does!” He turns to the baby. “What do you think…Marek?”

The baby opens his eyes and makes a small sound.

“I think he loves it,” Alina declares, hugging Marek close and giving him a kiss on the forehead.