Incisions
an excerpt

It’s heart-wrenching, yes, life ending, though? No

Having a nurse is a privilege, not a right.

Marc’s words were loud and clear in his mind, constantly rolling around alongside his gray matter. He’d left Amadé sleeping in bed, curled up in the thin sheets they used for the spring heat. Julius couldn’t help but stare at the mark along his cheek that still remained, a dull red but bright and irritated none the less. He’d slept without a problem net to Julius, he had even set a soft kiss at his throat, whispering a gentle, “I love you,” before dozing off again.

After all of that? Julius sighed.

Standing up, he walked over to the bedroom and leaned against the door slightly, watching the slender side rise and fall, sunlight falling against the sheets in a bright fall of light. He was hesitant, but wanted most to walk over and perhaps fall asleep next to him again, pulling him close, accepting the forgiveness and being able to kiss him without feeling guilty. However, before he could fulfill that desire, there was a loud, mechanical cacophony of Amadé’s cellular phone, positioned near the edge of the nightstand. “Strike up the band, whoa, the conductor is beckoning, come congregation let’s sing it like you mean it, oh, don’t you get it, don’t you get it now don’t you move. Strike—”

“Damn phone,” heard head Amadé growl from beneath the sheets, his hand raising and opening the phone and closing it as well. Julius turned away, but did not disappear from the doorway. He watched as Amadé then raised his head from the sheets and glanced to him sleepily, smiling. “Good morning,” he yawned and flopped back down onto the bed, the mattress giving barely a groan as he did so.

“H-hi…” Julius managed.

“You all right?”

“I’m fine…” Julius replied and tapped his fingers on the doorframe. Was he still angry with him? What would happen if he was? Was this just some sort of act? He shook his head a bit and then ran his fingers through his hair. He turned around completely and walked over to the kitchen table, on his way, hearing Amadé disappear into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

He sat silently at the kitchen table, his head on his arms. He let out a soft sigh as a warm hand touched his shoulder, and when he glanced up, he saw Amadé looking down at him. “Time to go to work, isn’t it?” he said softly to him, and Amadé nodded in agreement. “I’m not going.” He was steadfast in his words, and watched as Amadé froze a bit and turned around.

“Not going?” Amadé replied with a puzzled look. “You aren’t going, why?”

“Because I don’t feel like it, that’s why, now go finish up or you’ll be late, okay?”

“Jesus, Jules, stop being such a bitch and get up.” Amadé said and nudged his thigh a bit with his knee. “You know I’m already set so why don’t you go take a shower. I’ll go in with you if you’d like…” Julius glanced up with skeptical green eyes, his glasses falling down the bridge of his nose slightly. The offer was tempting, very tempting, and he would have taken it had his body not just simply stated a loud no and he remained there. “Such a little bitch,” Amadé then said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Just leave me alone and go to work.” Julius muttered and shut his eyes only to feel a warmth set against his head, fingers cradling his cheek as he was pressed against Amadé’s slender chest. It was strange… Amadé had never held him like that before, simply by the head, lips pressed against his cheek lovingly. He jerked away harshly. “Don’t do that… I don’t need that right now…”

“You know, it isn’t all Julius can do no wrong. Sometimes they die and sometimes they don’t… it all depends…” Amadé’s voice was hesitant and somewhat distant. His eyes were a bit far off as well and caused Julius to leap to his own defense.

“Well apparently it’s Jacob can do no wrong or Elizabeth can do no wrong, fuck, it’s even Esteban or Donny can do no wrong…”

“They lose people, you just don’t hear them raving about it all the time when they do! They deal with it, unlike you!”

There was a hard look in his eyes and Amadé winced a bit before stroking his hair lightly and leaning down to kiss his forehead gently. “Stop that! Hell, you’re perf—”

“Shut your mouth before you say something you’re going to regret, Hart,” Amadé said as he pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. “I’m not perfect, you understand? I’m still in training really, I talk to Esteban when I can but he’s so busy sometimes, you know?” A pause before Amadé shut his eyes smiling. “I’m seriously not ready for this, I just act like I am.”

“Shut up,” Julius said in disbelief. “Just shut up now…”

“I’m serious, I’ve done my studying, passed my tests, but I’ve only got about two years of experience, maybe a bit more. You? I think you’re more prepped than I am, but there comes a time when you lose your patients and there are times when they live, most time it’s the latter, so just don’t brood on it…”

“It’s easy for you to fucking say,” Julius muttered, resting his chin in his hand. “Just go to work, got it?”

Amadé stood up and put his hands on his hips. “You’re almost as bad as Clara, if not worse, maybe… She usually gets like this but without the profanities and she definitely isn’t as nasty as you are—”

“Then if I’m so nasty, why don’t you just go to work and I’ll see you later tonight, all right?”

Amadé sighed. “Can’t you see that I’m trying to bait you to come to work?”

“Bait me? Like make me chase after you in my rage and, under the influence of anger, run to work right behind you?” It seemed like a ploy straight out of a cartoon show, but he ignored that and looked up into warm brown eyes that held a bit of stubbornness in them as well.

“Well, sort of like that, only less comical, you know?” Amadé said, waving one hand in the air distantly. “But anyhow, seeing as how you don’t want to go to work, I’ll just go by myself.” Julius watched as Amadé turned around, walking over to the couch and picking up his coat, sliding it on over his black shirt. With a sigh, Amadé collected his bag from the ground and slid it over his head and shoulder. “So yeah… bye…”

Julius waved idly and then took up his mug of coffee, taking a long swallow from it before setting it down on the table again and tapping his fingers upon the table. It’d be a lonely day, and he could tell already. However, as soon as he stood and headed over to sit on the couch, there was the jingling of keys and the sound of the door opening. “Well, look who’s back, huh?” Julius muttered as he glanced up and saw Amadé with his bag, cheek slightly pink, out of breath as well.

“You’re an asshole, you know that, right?” Amadé said as he dumped his bag on the armchair and kicked the door shut, sliding his coat off his arms and then collapsed onto the couch.

“I know you are but what am I?” Julius mocked and pulled his legs up on the couch, crossing them at the knee and gazing at the brunette with a simper. “What made you turn back, huh?”

“The fact that my ear is ringing with static,” Amadé supplied and tapped his earring. “What’d you do?”

“Turned it off,” Julius said, tapping his own ear. “I don’t need to hear you nagging at me all day…” He set his hands behind his head and leaned back only to be jerked up.

“Turn it back on.”

“No,” Julius sighed and shook his head.

Amadé pouted slightly, folding his arms over his chest before standing up and suddenly walking over to Julius and reaching a hand down in a motion that Julius perceived as petting one only to feel his fingers deftly move behind his upper shell of his ear, pulling off the warm piece of metal that was usually perched there. “Then I’ll keep this until you grow up, all right?” He simpered and nudged Julius in the shoulder with his fist before, pulling on his jacket and bag again. “You can come in any time you want…”

“Sure, sure…” Julius mumbled.

Amadé leaned over to kiss him on the lips, but Julius turned his head away. “Not now…” Amadé gave him a look that seemed rather hurt… It just wasn’t right, though, not tight now, though… maybe tonight. Julius yawned, felt Amadé pat his shoulder and watched once more as Amadé left.