Excerpt: Elysium: Awakenings

She clicked her seatbelt into place in response to the flight attendant's announcement that they were preparing for landing. She glanced out the window at the bright autumn morning as they approached JFK airport and she almost didn't believe she had been in Paris just over eight hours earlier.

She'd been awakened abruptly by her mother and told she needed to pack quickly. She'd done as she was told while asking questions that she knew for which she'd receive no answer. Her mother had secrets and she knew that some of those were her own also. She tossed things in her bags quickly while her mother told her she was going back to Elysium. she hadn't been surprised by it and recalled that their coming to Paris six years prior had been done in much the same manner. The only real difference this time was, she was going alone. Before she knew it, her mother was handing her American money, her passport (which had falsified information anyway) and giving her last minute instructions before hugging her pressing her into an awaiting cab.

When she'd arrived at the airport, she'd been in something of a daze. She was leaving Paris. On Flight 2216 at 10:17. Settling in the black leather chairs in the terminal, she looked around slowly. None seemed to take notice of her. Just another passenger among the mass. Just another girl in jeans, jacket and baseball cap. Nondescript. Faceless. Blended and boring. And that's exactly what she needed to be in order to get where she was going.

She'd settled back and lowered her head a little as she watched people pass. Waves of bustle alternated with trickles of people on their way. She recalled that the last time she'd been in the airport was when she'd arrived in Paris. Some things had been different. She'd been younger, it'd been morning and she was with her mother, holding her hand tightly. But now, just like then, she felt the same knots in her stomach and had moments where she had to swallow hard and fight back tears. Between her mother's admonitions and the graffiti she passed on her way into the airport that read "La mort à GenEn!", she was more than motivated to do all she could to slip into the general anonymity.

Clearing security was her biggest test and that she was sitting in the terminal with others waiting to board gave her a little solace. The DNA verification went smoothly and she was grateful for the masking agent she'd been given just before she'd climbed into the cab. Providing no delays she would have time enough to clear Customs and Immigration when she arrived in stateside again.

She looked up at the display board for the time and heard the call for boarding. Bags in hand she queued up along with the other passengers. Not too near the front or back of the line, she observed the people ahead of her and awaited her turn. She wiped her palm dry in her jacket pocket as she stepped forward with her flight card, her face placid. She smiled back at the attendant and handed over her card with a nod, received it back and followed the direction to board the plane. Another hurdle cleared and the intensity in the moment fell away as soon as she was past it. And now all she had, was time to burn on the transatlantic flight. She settled into a lull and let her mind run over the rest of her planned journey.

She stared out the window into the night sky as the time passed with hardly any notice her surroundings and only came back to the moment when the flight attendant spoke to her.

"Madamoiselle Vallone voudriez-vous une boisson?"

"Veuillez oui. Merci" she replied with a smile as she accepted the soda and set it on her tray unopened next to the clear cup of shaved ice.

She made a mental note that she'd have to ditch the French thing when she deplaned and go back to English all the time. But that, in the end, was the least of her concerns or worries.

Hours later as the flight touched down, she watched the rising sun cut through the windows like moving blades. She tapped her foot to release some nervous energy as she awaited the opportunity to deplane. Eight hours on a plane was about as long as she could stand. As soon as the lights overhead went off and the plane came to a halt, she, like everyone else almost sprang into the activity of gathering belongings and heading for the exit. She pulled her duffle from the overhead compartment with ease, though the bag itself was full and appeared to be weighty. The young man who sat behind her looked somewhat surprised at her as she smiled slightly and turned to leave. She shrugged her backpack on as she went and never looked back.

She cleared Immigration smoothly and continued on through the airport. She stopped in the bathroom momentarily to assess herself. She splashed her face with water and ran wet hands through her hair before pulling it into a ponytail and donning a black baseball cap. It was her favorite and she was glad she'd not forgotten it. Her jeans and tee shirt were fine but she decided to put on a sweatshirt to add an extra layer of warmth before replacing her leather jacket. The jacket was the best part. It used to be her mother's and had before that belonged to her father. Now it felt like a portable hug from them both. She mused that the feeling from the coat was more real than the actuality of either of them.

She sighed and pulled out her passport.

"Lauren Vallone. Don't need this anymore" she said as she ripped the pages from her passport.

She ripped the pages into tiny pieces and tossed them into the toilet. As the automatic flush swirled the pieces away, she watched.

"Like it never happened" she said.

Two more flushes to make sure every piece was gone and not going to resurface. And then it was done. She exited the bathroom and moved through the airport as if nothing had changed, nothing was different. She looked like any other girl walking along to destinations unknown.

She checked her watch and knew she needed to get moving. The sooner she got home the safer she'd be and she couldn't afford to miss her next mode of transportation.

On her way to the trains she stopped and grabbed a coffee and an eggsalad sandwich. The sandwich surprised her because she'd really never been so much a fan but she found it hit the spot perfectly. The coffee was good enough but really she just wanted the jolt of caffeine to keep her alert for a bit longer. Her sleep on the plane hadn't been the most restful and her dreams were strange.

She caught her train and ran through the rest of her journey in her head. It was long and circuitous and still the most direct way to reach her destination. The plain truth was that Elysium was in the middle of nowhere in the vicinity of nothing. What bothered her most was that it left her time, long periods of time, to think. There was no chance that she wasn't going but that didn't change the reticence she felt. The last time she'd seen her father she was ten and now, out of the blue she was going to wind up on his doorstep. It was beyond surreal.

She slipped her music player on and listened while the train sped through the tunnels and let the songs lull her with their rhythm. Before too long she was off the train and heading for the escalators to go above ground and cross over two streets to the bus station.

She noticed the people rushing in all directions as the music filtered out the noise. Looking at them reminded her of walking through a dream. Faces passing by, caught in part or sometimes full on. Some met her gaze and others didn't but they were all gone from her notice within a blink of an eye and she from theirs simultaneously. She walked up the escalator and out to the bustling morning of the New York District of the northeast megalopolis. Traffic was in gridlock so she followed suit of the other pedestrians and crossed through the vehicles in waiting to the other side of the street. She remembered being here before and it was a comfort to her that nothing much had changed. She looked up and noted that high above she could see the blue of the sky but the buildings were so high, the people on the ground were in near perpetual shade. It was much different from Paris, where there were skyscrapers but nothing like these. The cityscapes were incomparable.

She arrived at the station with fifteen minutes to spare before her bus departure. It was just enough time to get her ticket and make it across the terminal to the bus. It was just as well, she figured the less time she had to just hang around the better. She did grab a newspaper just before getting on the bus. After all that time away, she needed to catch up a bit and between being linked up to her music player and the paper, she wasn't open for conversation. She slid into a set of seats near the middle of the bus and put her bags next to her on the outside seat. She wasn't surprised that the bus wasn't full.

"Six hours" she said under her breath and looked out of the window as the bus pulled off.
~~~~~

She awoke and looked around and then at her watch. She'd slept two hours and had about another half an hour until she reached the end of the line. She stretched in her seat and looked out the window to see trees and occasional long stretches of grass that she knew were pastures. There was so much green and she realized that she'd forgotten that. The landscape slipping by was so much the opposite of the city that she'd arrived in earlier it was almost unbelievable. She kept her attention on the scenery for the remainder of the ride and realized before long that nothing much had changed. She was still able to recognize the bridges they crossed, the rivers and creeks that ran below and she could tell from the mountain ridge just how close she was getting to Elysium.

"Loch Glen! End of the line!" the driver called out as they passed the sign announcing their arrival in the town of the same name.

It was then that she realized that only she and one other person remained. The bus pulled to a complete stop right on Main Street as she slid into her jacket and gathered her bags.

"Looks like the clouds are breaking up" the driver said as she walked up to the front of the bus.

She smiled and climbed down the stairs and off of the bus. The fresh air was welcome as she looked around and contemplated the next leg of her journey.

"Lookin' for your ride?" the driver called from the bus.

"No" the girl replied with a half-smile and continued looking across the street.

"You know, Loch Glen's really small. There's no city transport or anything."

"I know" she replied.

"Not many people come out this way. You gonna' be okay?"

"Absolutely" she replied and told herself that she'd have to adjust rather quickly to the lack of anonymity that the tiny towns in the area provided. Outsiders weren't trusted and not being forthcoming with answers was tantamount to terrorist activity. "I'm going home" she explained.

"Well why didn't ya' say so? Where ya' from?" the driver asked jovially.

"Elysium" she replied with a smile.

"Good Lord, girl! You better hitch a ride with Kelly before she heads out or you'll be here until tomorrow!" she said with a smile and climbed down from her perch.

"Kelly?"

"Kelly's Farm Produce! Kelly Tyrell, owns the produce farm out on the 150 extension. Come on, she's bound to be packing up the truck right about now. If we hurry, we can catch her" she said and waved she to follow her across the street.

"Are you sure? She won't mind?"

"Mind? No. In fact, she'll be glad to be able to say she did a good deed. Kelly's one of the biggest hell raisers in the county!" she replied with a deep laugh.

She smiled and followed the stout woman across the street and over to the open air market. She saw the truck for Kelly's Farm Produce and a woman she assumed was Kelly stacking crates into the back of it with a few other people.

"Hey Kell!" the driver called over as they approached.

Kelly looked up with a smile, "Norma!

She hung back while bus driver Norma explained to produce farmer Kelly that she needed a ride to Elysium. Kelly looked over at her, seeming to assess her and smiled with a nod.

"So you need to get home to Elysium, huh? What's your name?" she said to the girl.

"Narcissa. Narcissa Bradley."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Narcissa was quiet for most of her hitched ride into Elysium. Happily, her host didn't seem to mind much and chattered on pretty much without needing input from Narcissa. When they arrived, Narcissa was astounded. Everything looked the same. She hadn't expected a whole new town but she didn't expect it to be so... normal. If she didn't know better she'd think she'd left the day before.

They'd passed Elysium College on the very outskirts of town and Narcissa instinctively looked for her father. She knew the moment she looked that it was a futile effort. She'd no idea what he drove now and even more, the building he taught in (or had) was on the opposite side of the campus than that visible from the street. Even so, it made her warm inside to know that her she was so close to him. It did nothing to quell her anxiety but she was glad just the same.

Elysium's main thoroughfare, Mountain View Way had been repaved and the TriCentennial Memorial Well at the end of the street had been refurbished and fortified but it was all recognizable. The shops along the way were still all in business and the brick and stone facades looked quaint as she passed by with their cloth awnings.

She noticed adults out and about and crossing the streets. It was mid-morning on a school day so she hadn't expected to see many children anyway but it did remind her of the friends she'd had when they passed the elementary school.

When Kelly stopped the truck by Center Market, Narcissa thanked her for the ride. They exchanged pleasantries and Kelly went right to work unloading her truck. Narcissa had offered to help but when Kelly insisted she had it, Narcissa was grateful. She climbed out of the truck and looked around. The grey clouds had dissipated and the sky was now more blue and sunshine and the breeze clean and crisp. She looked across the street to check out her surroundings a little more. She was faced with the post office and City Hall, both simple concrete structures that belied their municipal uses. She glanced over to her right and took note that Logger's Lodge still rose on the hill just behind and above City Hall.

She snuggled deeper into her jacket and slipped on her backpack and hoisted her duffle on her shoulder. She was glad that there weren't many people around in the mid-morning to run into. She wasn't sure she'd remember them or that those who'd known her then would know her now and she wasn't ready to answer questions. For the first time, she thought of what must have been asked of her father about her and her mother's disappearance. She shook her head at the thought and headed quickly for Jessup Street. She needed to get home.

She remembered exactly how to get to her house from what qualified as downtown Elysium. As she walked down the tree lined streets and passed the perfectly manicured lawns and hedges, it was as if nothing had changed since she'd left. She was pretty sure that the house at the corner of Lange Avenue still had the same chintz curtains at the window. She recalled loving to pass that house or rather run past while playing hide and seek with Balthazar Ferris and the Warren twins, Davinder and Davina. It was the marker of her world. It was the landmark that told her childhood mind that she was at the edge of her boundary defined as two blocks from home in any direction.

She felt the anticipation build as she crossed the street and smiled as a sun warmed breeze blew by, the tree branches overhead danced and the sunlight cut through making speckled patterns below on her and the ground ahead. She was glad the skies had cleared from the grey and chilly early morning as she peeked above at the blue.

And then she was home. Back home. 22 Hilltop Terrace. It too looked just as she remembered it. She walked up the empty driveway, knowing that her father was at work. She didn't know what he drove these days but she knew he never missed work. She went down the little stone path that led to the backyard and up the stairs to the back deck. She dropped her bags and bent down to retrieve the key from the little space between two stones in the wall. She couldn't believe she could still get her hand in the space when her fingertips slid over the face of the key. She tapped its edge, it flipped up and she caught it between two of her fingers before pulling her hand out. She rubbed it on her jeans to clean it off and unlocked the back door before sliding it into her back pocket. She grabbed her bags and went inside.

She stood in the quiet kitchen after kicking the door closed behind her and then she finally felt like she could breathe. She'd been nervous for almost 24 hours. Since her mother handed her that plane ticket and put her in a cab in Paris. Her mother's warnings rang in her mind when she was awake and when she slept they warned her still, always resulting in her awaking abruptly. She was afraid she'd be caught or followed and even more afraid of what that would mean. She knew from the look on her mother's face that whatever her reasons for such a warning, they were serious and Narcissa believed, deadly.

But now she was safe. She looked over at the phone but knew she couldn't call her mother. The whole point of her coming back the way she had was so that no one would know where she was, so calling would surely defeat the purpose. With a sigh she turned and locked the door before picking up her bags and heading up the stairs to the second level. On her way, she passed the refrigerator and noticed that her picture was there. Actually a few of them were. One was of her just before she left. She remembered the day it was taken. It was after a soccer game and her team, The Cougars had beaten The Eagles. She and Balthazar were in the picture together. Both with faces smudged in dirt and grass-stained jerseys but smiling madly. She smiled now at the memory and went upstairs.

The stairs from the kitchen to the second level were still as silent as they used to be. She used to sneak downstairs to the kitchen to swipe cookies in the middle of the night sometimes and never woke up her parents. Sometimes, they were even in the den watching television and they never knew she was there. Even when she'd sit on the stairs and listen to the shows before padding back up to her room.

As she walked on the carpet she knew her father must have had it replaced because it was really plush though the crimson color was the same she recalled. She stopped in front of her bedroom door, almost reticent to open it. She didn't know if she wanted it to be exactly as she'd left it or not. And for a fleeting moment she was angry that her mother had taken her away. She'd loved it here. She'd loved her father and eventhough she'd been gone six years, she'd missed him every day. She also wished almost every day that he'd show up for her and take her back home. But he never did.

She shook off the thoughts and opened the door. She was greeted with her room just as she'd left it. Even down to her teddy, Beau, sitting on her bed.

"Wow" she said aloud with a smile and stepped inside.

She dropped her bags on the floor and made her way over to her bed. It was smaller now than she'd remembered it. She picked up Beau and hugged him close.

"Beau! If I'd known I'd be gone so long, I'd have brought you along."

She looked around the room and was met with fond memories all around. She could see her room had been maintained well and was almost expecting her clothes to still be in the closets and armoire when she opened them. She was slightly surprised when she found them empty and a little dismayed.

"Well of course he wouldn't keep your old clothes. He knows you've grown up & out of them" she reprimanded herself for the silly thought.

She knew it was childish but part of her wanted to pick right up where she'd left off and be that ten year-old all over again, no matter how irrational. But she couldn't.

She unpacked her bags and put away the clothes she'd brought with her. She was surprised that she'd stuffed as much into her bags as she had. She'd not had a lot of time to pack and she hadn't really looked when she grabbed. She realized now that she'd need to do some shopping relatively soon because she was running short on some essentials.

She put her empty duffle into her closet and hung her backpack on the chair to her desk. A desk she no longer fit. She still liked her room though and she sat Beau in the chair at the desk. She looked out the large bowed window that overlooked the backyard. The green grass was perfectly trimmed into alternating bands of green as it went back and finally sloped a little where the tree line began and shrubs peeked out here and there. The trees on the edge and the forest behind still looked the same. Lush dark greens from spring to summer, the colors of fire in autumn and in the winter dark and bare, except for evergreens.

She turned her attention back to her room and wondered if she should call her father and let him know she was there. Her thought fleeted quickly as she realized she didn't know what to say.

"A shower and some sleep. That'll help" she said to herself aloud and started to undress.

She found towels in the linen closet in the hall and headed back to her room. She kicked her shoes aside and headed into her bathroom to shower. She smiled at the sight of the walls and recalled her mother had painted her a mural of all the Disney princesses for her. The reminder of just how long she'd been gone chilled her and she shrugged it off stepping into the sleek warmth of the water in her shower. Washing off the miles of travel she savored the scent of the soap. It was her mother's favorite scent from a tiny atelier a few blocks away from where they lived in Paris. The lavender and roses scent filled the warm room and almost felt like a warm embrace from her mother. Almost.

Narcissa finished her shower, dried off and dressed before laying down on her bed. She glanced over at the clock on the bedside table but before the time registered in her mind, she slipped off to sleep.

Her dreams were scattered. A mix of childhood memories and recent anxieties. She awoke abruptly and remember fleeting images of her falling from a cliff into darkness below but looking up to see her parents standing on the same cliff, horror stricken and reaching for her. She remembered that it had been a recurring dream of hers before. Until recently, it'd been just her father standing on that cliff, but now her mother was there also. She still didn't know if she'd slipped off the cliff or jumped off but the feeling of the freefall scared her.

"I could have done without that" she said to herself as she got up, heart still racing.

She splashed her face with cool water and checked her watch.

Narcissa headed down to the kitchen, her stomach growling loudly. The appliances were new and she wondered at the reason for her father's updating them. He'd always been fond of old things and resisted newness until it couldn't be avoided. She appreciated the edges and coolness of the stainless steel and titanium and how they ran seamlessly with the antique marble surfaces and blond wood cabinetry. The blend of the old and new was beautiful to her.

She grabbed a banana from the fruit island in the center of the table and opened the refrigerator. Glancing at the clock, she decide to make dinner. She could see from the cubed venison on a tray in the refrigerator and the red wine on the counter that her father's plan had been stew. Narcissa pulled out the meat and accompanying vegetables and went to work. She loved her father's venison stew when she was younger and missed it when she was gone. Her mother made her version with beef which was quite good but in Narcissa's mind it just wasn't the same. She loved both but still longed for this one. She followed his recipe to the letter, grateful that he'd written it down on a card in the recipe box, and before long the glorious scent was wafting through the house.

When Narcissa looked at the clock again, she realized that her father would be home soon. At least, she assumed he would. She hadn't thought about what she'd say or how she'd explain her return. She simply hadn't wanted to allow herself the thought that he'd not be glad to see her. She couldn't blame him if that were his reaction. How many people received teenage children unannounced on their doorsteps everyday? It was sure to be a shock, she thought as she sat at the dining room table, thinking and twisting a lock of her hair around one of her fingers.

She heard the door being unlocked and opened in the kitchen and jumped up. Before she could take a step, her father was standing in the doorway of the kitchen before her, a stunned expression on his face.

"Narcissa?!" he said as soon as he laid eyes on her.

"Hi Daddy... I'm home."