Polaris
an excerpt

Her smiling face looked back at me… those familiar green eyes twinkling softly at out private joke.
A confused and scared gloss spread over her face as she touched my cheek like she had so many times.
“Sarah?” I asked, concern etching my voice.
“It’s nothing…I just couldn’t feel anything for a minute. It’s okay, promise.” She replied, covering up her own look of confusion with a smile.
The next scene was one I would never forget.
I walked up the stair case towards her bedroom, wondering why she hadn’t yet come down for breakfast.
“Sarah?” I knocked on her door, and heard the sound of muffled sobs from behind the wood of the door.
“Tiler,” she sobbed. “Tiler, come help me.”
Scared, I let myself in and found her curled into a ball on her bed, the tears leaving wet trails down her cheeks.
“Sarah, what’s wrong?” My voice shook slightly as I looked at the fear clearly written across her face.
“Tiler,” she cried. “I can’t see… I’m blind.”
“Sarah…” I breathed and gathered her small body in my arms. I stroked her hair as she cried into my shoulder, whispering her name as I did so.
“Tiler,” she said. “I didn’t want you to know… I didn’t want to worry you. It isn’t the first time something has gone funny with my sight.”
“What do you mean?” I answered.
“It started two weeks ago… it’s been at least a week since I’ve been able to see color. First the reds faded, then the greens, then the rest of them. I’m scared. What’s happening to me?” she whispered.
“It’ll be okay, all right? I’ll take you in and we’ll see what we can do and try to find out what happened, okay?” I stood, still carrying Sarah.
“Everything will be okay.”
The next thing I knew, I was looking at Sarah, tubes and needles sticking out of her arms, nose, and mouth. The monitor had gone dead about half an hour previously, yet I could not move from her still body. She couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t just be gone.
But as the casket was shut for the last time, I couldn’t deny the truth.
Sarah was gone. My Sarah, my angel…
Dead.
The dream shifted slightly, starting back at the beginning.
Only this time there was one variation.
Evan was the one looking up at me now, her own eyes drowning me.
She gently touched my face, a look of concern crossing her own.
“Jason…” she said in a voice that was near hysteria.
“What is it, Evan?” I asked with a hint of concern in my face and furrowing my brow.
“Never mind… it’s probably nothing.”
The scene changed, and she had tears running down her soft cheeks.
“What color are your eyes today?”
My mind flashed to Sarah, and this time panic really did set in.
The next thing I knew, Evan was crying in my arms, her eyes forever blinded to the world.
Finally, in the closing scene, it was one I knew all too well from the nightmares that haunted me.
The coffin lid was open, and though I didn’t want to move I felt my feet carrying me towards the shiny, varnished box.
Inside, rather than Sarah, was Evan, her eyes closed and look of perfect serenity across her face.
The lid closed, and the world went black.
~
I woke in a sweat, desperately trying to calm myself and my nerves. I breathed deeply and soon enough passed it off to the dark corners of my memory. Just as with the rest of my dreams, it left me awake and my senses alert to only half their fullness.
I laid in my bed, getting annoyed with my sensitivity to everything around me. Generally it no longer bothered me, but just then I was very much annoyed with how completely aware all of my senses were to my environment. Closing my eyes, I heard, smelled, felt, and sensed everything within at least a quarter mile. Everything was suddenly ten hundred times stronger, just as they had been for the first week or so while I was getting used to my newly enhanced senses. A few floors down I could hear the television on a low murmur playing some late night talk show. No one else was in the room, and the man’s breathing was slow and deep; I knew he was completely and fully immersed in sleep.
Deciding that I didn’t really care about anyone’s personal boundaries, I decided to let my senses roam. I could feel the night air on my skin as if I was actually outside on the cold cement. The ground was hard from the drop in temperature and the pavement seemed even more solid than normal, though from what I knew about the composition and nature of cement, I knew this was highly unlikely. If it were true, however, the simple fact tat concrete isn’t as solid as was previously ascertained would throw the world into a state of frenzied confusion, and people would find themselves questioning their very purpose in life, God, and other trivial matters of intelligence.
I followed my senses out into the world, down the aforementioned concrete path and into the late night city life. I was sure to find my share of scenarios here in the midst of a bustling city that was more alive at night than at noon. I carefully avoided the spots of town knowing that I didn’t want to let my senses roam in a bar or a hotel room or steamy car. They were easy enough to find, and therefore easy enough to avoid. I sure didn’t want to walk in on anyone. I would leave them be to their business, hopefully able to keep away before actually walking in on anything I didn’t want to see, feel, smell, or sense in any way, shape, or form. That was their own personal territory, and I was more than willing to let them be with no intrusions.
I followed my instinct out to the outer edges of the city. In a sense, I perched precariously on the top of a bridge, watching the tail lights of cars and trucks driving dangerously below me. The red and white lights sped past me, leaving me behind like the world had been doing the last several months. I wanted desperately to rush out into the world ahead as they were doing, wanted to feel the adrenaline pumping furiously and the speed washing over me.
Those cars below… they knew where they were going. Rather, the people driving the vehicles below knew their destination and knew roughly what lay ahead. I envied their knowledge of where they were going, wished I knew as surely as they did what was coming and where I was going. Chasing after a small black Pontiac, I forgot my worries and flew through the night that was far from silent. Cold, biting wind nipped sharply at me and tried to sever my connection with my mind. Holding on just tight enough to myself to keep from slipping away completely, I dove deep into the river below aforementioned bridge, the chilled water of which would surely have knocked the breath out of anyone. Exploding unseen out of the water and back into the night, I caught hold of a familiar scent, it’s warmth beckoning me towards it like a lighthouse’s beacon to a sailor and his crew lost at sea.
Immediately recognizing her feel, I followed the trails of Evan, her scent easily recognized and her path clearly marked. I knew part of this was due to the fact that I had everything about her so strongly imprinted in my mind that it would be nigh impossible not to recognize her. Before I knew where I was going, I found myself in New York, sensing that I was coming ever closer to her. As if drawn by a force whose full power was unbeknownst to me, I floated through the bustling city, immune to everything around me except for Evan. She was close, and every cell and atom in my body was being pulled towards her; I would find her, no matter where she was, and I knew that as long as I knew she was safe, asleep, and in no one else’s arms, I would be able to rest peacefully until the morrow, on which I would yet again be able to communicate with her.
It wasn’t hard to find her once I had her recalled to memory. Soon enough I found where she was staying, presumably Ryan’s apartment, and silently stood in the middle of the room, gazing at her beautiful face. The night was silent outside save for the sound of cars just beyond the thin pane of glass. I could feel the cool chill emitting from the glass as well as the contrast of the light heat from her skin. Standing there, I wanted so badly to reach out and wrap my arms around her and warm her from the chill of the window. But even if I did, she wouldn’t feel me there. If anything, she would feel a slight, cool blanket of air trapped around her.
I stood there for quite some time, memorizing everything about her that I could. As she tilted her head to the side, her hair fell gently across her shoulders and swept across her face and her eyes closed slowly, heavily weighed down by lethargy. Her face took on a peaceful, gentle look as she slid into sleep, her cares no longer troubling her and her thoughts no longer leaving their trace across her skin. Her breathing slowed to an even and steady pace. Watching her, I stood there for about an hour before finally giving in and walking towards her. Her scent grew stronger as I neared, and the light body heat radiating from her already started to warm me as I took each step closer to her.
I stood a foot or two away from where she slept, not quite sure what I was going to do. In a split decision, I turned towards the bed and pulled the comforter and sheets down, trying to be as silent as I could. To anyone looking in on this scene, they wouldn’t have seen me, but they would have seen the way the corner of the soft, down comforter folded gently under my hand, and would have seen the sheets and bedspread folded down across the mattress. After I completed this task, I slowly walked back to Evan. She was curled against the window, and I smiled affectionately down at her. I breathed in her scent, and the effect thereof was nearly that of wine.
For a minute I didn’t know what to do next, having temporarily forgotten what I had planned to do in the first place. As normality started to settle back in and her scent was more of a buzz than the peak of drunkenness, I carefully lifted her into my arms. Gently I walked back to the bed and set her down in the middle of it, trying not to wake her. Then I slid the sheets and comforter up around her thin body and tucked them softly around her. Instead of leaving, I lay next to her, on top of the sheets and bedspread. With each of my senses magnified, I breathed her in, and resisted the urge to stroke her cheek. I settled with watching her, and soon found myself back in my body, fast asleep.