Excerpt: Damn Murphy, Anyway

Damn Murphy, Anyway!

Chapter One
In which our heroine discovers why shared houses are cheaper and in which the library comes under attack

When I woke up that morning, I thought it was going to be just another normal day. It was a Tuesday and I had a morning class, so I stumbled out of bed at six, pulled on a sweatshirt and headed to the front porch for a cigarette.

That’s when it all went to hell.

“I can’t compose with you filling the house with your negative energy and, and alcoholic fumes! And noise,” she added, an obvious afterthought. “It’s six in the morning! Go to bed!” She slammed the door with a soft jingle of chimes, which somehow ruined the effect.

“Dude,” said Mark from the nest of cushions and blankets in his customary spot on the couch, “You’re harshing my mellow.”

Felix, sitting next to him, cracked open a beer ostentatiously. “The sun’s barely up, Stella. The party’s hardly gotten started yet! I could party for two more days, easy. I wouldn’t even have to sleep!” He leaned back and spilled the beer into his lap.

Who’s bright idea had it been to save money by sharing a house? I had to leave for school in half an hour. I didn’t need this. I wove her way carefully through the scattered bottles all over the living room floor – and was that a thong? I really didn’t want to know – to the front door. The porch, at least, would be blessedly peaceful.

Instead of the empty porch I hoped for, though, I opened the door to see someone sitting hunched over on the top step.

“Hello?” I asked carefully.

“Oh, thank God.” The person turned around and opened her mouth, then sneezed violently. It was another one of my housemates – Laura? No, Lauren, that was it. She pushed limp brown hair out of her face and sneezed again. “I didn’t think anyone would ever come to the door. I forgot my key. I’ve been sitting here all night.”

I lit my cigarette. “Why didn’t you knock?”

“I did. The music was so loud I don’t think anyone could hear me.” Lauren huddled deeper into her thin jacket. Despite her obvious shivering and the intermittent sneezes that threatened to knock her backwards off the porch, she didn’t seem in any hurry to get inside now that the door was open. “I had the most horrible night,” she said instead.

Well, I was stuck out here for a few minutes, anyway, until enough nicotine hit my system that I could cope with rushing to school. I shoved my impatience aside and sat down next to her. “What happened?”

“Well, I was going to meet Jake for dinner – my boyfriend, you know?”

I nodded, since she seemed to be waiting for a response. Though I didn’t know, actually. I don’t think Lauren and I had exchanged three words since I’d moved in.