Excerpt: Secrets That Drown Us

My wrist still hurt. Was it Henry's fingers closed around it? Would I open my eyes to feel his boring into them with that intensity again? No. This pain was different, sharp, concentrated in one tiny little point on the inside of my wrist. And the light beyond my eyelids was different too, pale and too bright. I brought my other hand up to my eyes, shielding them. My hand felt heavy, but slowly, I opened my eyes.

I was in a bed, the sheets white and crisp, the pillows too plump and soft. Blurrily, I could see the IV in my left wrist, and I realized I was in hospital. I tried to speak, but my mouth felt full of something dry and foul. Choking back the words, I rasped for water.

"She spoke." my mum's voice.

"Astrid?" someone unfamiliar. "Astrid, I'm Doctor Hamilton. Do you know where you are?"

"In hospital?" I phrased it as a question, not completely sure if I'd even woken up yet. This doctor's soothing voice made me want to punch him, as well, which didn't really help matters much.

"Correct. Do you know how you got here?" he asked.

I fought with my mind for some recollection of where I'd been before waking up here. I remembered Henry, the woods, rain battering high windows and my humiliation in the classroom which smelt of wood varnish and dusty textbooks. Had I passed out in class? The worried voices and a hard smack on the back of my head also came back to me. Clearly I had.

"I was in class..." I hesitated. "Then I fainted."

"That's the last thing you remember?" Doctor Hamilton came closer to the bed so I could see him. He wore a pair of round, wire-rimmed glasses and a meditative frown on his youngish, handsome features. Blonde hair was swept back in a careful effort to look careless. He held a clipboard and pen.

"Yes." I closed my eyes, thinking about what had happened after that. Nothing. Just blackness. And then that pain in my wrist that had woken me up.

"Okay, Astrid." the doctor flashed me a movie-star smile and dragged up a little stool. I guessed my explanation was coming. "Do you know why you fainted?"

"No... not really." I half-lied. I'd been thinking about Henry, and I'd just been humiliated. Is it possible to faint from embarrassment? Is it possible to faint from thinking about someone?

"I can tell you." Doctor Hamilton announced. Well, that certainly is a relief. "You fainted, Astrid, because you've been suffering from acute exhaustion. Has this happened before? Have you lost consciousness before in recent weeks?"

"No." I said defensively, automatically. The telephone room. Oh, why hide it now? "Yes. A few days ago. But that was the heat... I'm not exhausted."

"Have you been feeling tired? Losing your appetite? Sleeping badly?" he pressed.

"Yes, but the heat-"

"Have you experienced loss of concentration? Strange dreams? Lethargy?"

"Yes." I admitted meekly. Acute exhaustion?

"You've been very ill, Astrid. This is an incredibly serious condition, and I'm going to advise you take it very easy for at least seven weeks." Doctor Hamilton scribbled something on his clipboard.

"No! Wait!" I pushed my hair back from my forehead and tried to sit up straight in bed. "My exams are in less than four weeks!"

"Yes, I understand. You will, undoubtedly, still have to take them, but I'll be telephoning your school and making sure you have plenty of time to yourself to revise." he kept writing, a lock of hair falling charmingly into his eyes. I hated him.