Saturn Return
an excerpt

Lise, somehow, had ended up back at the hill. It seemed, the second she closed her eyes, she was transported back here. There was no other explanation. Hours of trudging through the godforsaken, dry and lifeless desert were made worthless, as her exhausted joints carried her again up the hill to lie at the summit, on top of the marks in the dust she had made during her two past depressed collapsements here.

She had no idea what to do. Her body hurt. Her stomach hurt. Her eyes hurt from the blazing ruthless sun. Her mind hurt from the sheer desperation of the situation. Lise liked her solitude and spent most of her days alone. Most people thought she was crazy for never marrying, but she’d never felt the need to. She couldn't warm to an alliance with another person for the rest of her life. Sharing a house, meals, and responsibilities. Always the back and forth of a relationship: the compromises, the uneasy yeses. Sacrifice. Lise wasn’t good at this. She got what she wanted. Her life was simple, happy, and lived on her own terms.

But now . . . what Lise was aching the most for was company. To guide her, to tell or show her the way out of this awful desert, to give her food and rest. Someone to reassure her. But also, a person simply to be with. To distract her from the maddening torture of the desert. She couldn’t take being alone anymore. She didn’t know what she’d do . . . she didn’t know what else she could do. She buried her head in her arms and started to cry. Though she nearly never cried, the feeling of warm tears around her eyes was familiar to her as her clothes, as her face in a mirror. It was comforting, and a little reassuring, and Lise ignored her dread and unhappiness for a few sad, crushing, desperate, and yet relieving seconds to indulge in the depth of emotion. She took her hands off her face to wipe her eyes and attempt some composure, and could barely believe what she saw. A spider scuttled by her foot. Harsh crow calls split the air. She looked up quickly.

The desert was coming to life. Birds flew overhead. Trees grew at unnatural speed around her, arching green-leafed branches up by her head. Flowers bloomed all over the ground, and streams now flowed in the gullies. Cloud rushed over the sky and blocked out the sun. Lise could scarcely believe it. She giggled at first, a slightly mad giggle, but that turned to full-blown laughter as the tears dried on her smiling cheeks.

Lise spread her arms and raced down the hill, running around the tall trees and hopping over the bushes. She could scarcely believe it. She could scarcely believe it. She wasn’t even aware of what she was doing, as she spun around and laughed, scaring the songbirds out of the branches, before falling down in a wondrous daze to stare at all the growth and mystery around her, where seconds before there had been nothing but sadness and dry misery. A light rain began to fall. Lise closed her eyes and smiled like a little girl, letting it mist her face. When she opened her eyes again, all was glowing around the circle of trees.