The Incredible Adventures of Dirk Starwood
an excerpt

Dirk bowed his head as his story ended and a long silence stretched between them, with only the soft pattering-- and sizzling-- of the rain falling outside. “Wow,” Shandara said finally, and Dirk chanced a look upward, quite pleased that his tale had affected her so. And then she continued: “I would almost feel sorry for you if any of that were true.”
What had been a burgeoning smile quickly fell from Dirk’s classically handsome face, and-- having spent the last few moments preparing a brave response to the sympathy that he had been expecting-- was only able to get out a somewhat garbled “Huh?”
Shandara scowled. “For goodness sake, Dirk, I’ve read your Galactic Fleet file, you know. You’re not an orphan. Your parents are still alive, living on the three quarters of Pluto that they own, and they practically bought your way into the Academy.”
Dirk’s disappointment at not having been able to pull off the sad orphan routine was somewhat mitigated by the knowledge that Shandara had actually read his file. In fact, his smile was floating back up from where it had fallen just a moment before, quite of its own volition, helped along by the image now forming in his mind of the lovely Indarian paging lovingly through his file in search of any detail she could find and cherish about him. The fact that she had probably checked the file when she had first been assigned to his ship, before she had even met him, was nice enough to stand patiently outside and let the less rational part of his brain enjoy itself for a while. It even added helpfully through the door that even if she had read the file then, she wouldn’t be the first woman to fall for Dirk Starwood before ever even meeting him. He had a knack for attracting cases of love at pre-sight.
“I can’t even give you points for creativity,” Shandara continued, shaking her head, her scowl replaced with a look of bemusement. “Everyone and their uncle is ‘a poor orphan struggling against the odds to achieve his dream’ nowadays.”
“I know,” Dirk said, trying to look chagrined and not really sure whether or not he was succeeding, as it was not really an expression that he’d had occasion to employ before. “I borrowed it from my old roommate at the Academy.”
Shandara raised her eyebrows. “You mean Artie Filibuster?” He nodded and she rolled her eyes. “I read his file, too. He wasn’t an orphan-- his species has three parents, and all three of his were still alive. He wasn’t poor either, unless you mean in comparison to you.”
Dirk sat up, balling his fists and clenching his teeth in anger. “Why that lying… liar! I should have…” His voice trailed off, and when he spoke again, his righteous indignation had been replaced with a hurt whimper. “Hey, what were you doing reading Artie’s file, too?”
“He was referenced in your file, so I read up on him as well.” Dirk felt a little relieved, but was still disheartened that his wasn’t the only file she had ever opened. Then she poured salt on the wound. “I interned at the Academy’s Hall of Records the summer after I graduated, before I was assigned to your ship. I had a lot of free time there, so I read a lot of files-- just anyone who interested me, people I knew or knew I was going to know, or just people who had interesting names.” She laughed. “Not that those are rare or anything nowadays. It used to be that people were happy to give their kids nice old-fashioned names like Xenphyr and Halconian. Now everyone thinks that have to be original and different and unique. And instead, since they’re all trying to be different, they all end up being the same. If I meet one more Jennifer, I might just be sick. Who ever came up with such a bizarre name? Not to mention the spelling of it-- E’s and I’s instead of Y’s? That’s just trying too hard, you know?”
She smiled over at Dirk, but he couldn’t enjoy it. He was still pouting over the revelation of all those files besides his own. Had he ever meant anything to her?