There is a lowly creature who guards the harbinger of Word Wars. Its name is Cambot, and it's startlingly rude.
Geolojazz - !eightball is anyone here?
18:43 cambot - Geolojazz: It is possible.
18:43 Geolojazz - !eightball but is it probable?
18:43 cambot - Geolojazz: The answer is a resounding no.
18:44 Geolojazz - !eightball do you understand anything about what you just said? The scientist in me is rebelling.
18:44 cambot - Geolojazz: Maybe...
18:44 Geolojazz - !eightball Are you going to be honest with me?
18:44 cambot - Geolojazz: No clue.
18:44 Geolojazz - !eightball Now you're just being deliberately vague, aren't you?
18:44 cambot - Geolojazz: You know the answer better than I.
18:45 Geolojazz - !eightball Do I have to come over there and open up a can of whoop-ass?
18:45 cambot - Geolojazz: The answer is certainly yes.
18:46 Geolojazz - !eightball Are you fine with the fact that I'm going to ignore you and start writing now?
18:46 cambot - Geolojazz: Naturally.
18:50 *** NinjaDuckie joined #CalgaryNano
18:50 NinjaDuckie - It's ten to two in the morning, I've drunk a pint of chocolate milk, and I see Tim.
18:50 Geolojazz - He's ignoring me.
18:51 Geolojazz - I've been having an awesome conversation with cambot.
18:51 Geolojazz - !eightball isn't that right, cambot?
18:51 cambot - Geolojazz: The outlook is poor.
18:51 Geolojazz - oh shut up.
Has anyone else encountered this beast and lived to tell the tale?
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98,000 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 19 53
He loved me...told me I was going to sell 1 million copies of my book.
62,000 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 19 57
What, just like the email you got from the guy in Nigeria saying there was 10,000,000 dollars waiting to be transfered to your account and all you had to do was send your bank details?
------------
Paul Webber
Don’t settle for shampoo! Demand real poo!
98,000 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 20 23
I know that guy...he said the money would be here by early next week. I urinated all over my boss today since I'll never have to work again!!!
54,528 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 20 53
Cambot told me I was going to fail NaNo.... :'(
----------[Insert witty comment here.]
43,437 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 08 55
He also told you that you were gay and that he was going to marry you.
----------All stories are Anansi's stories.
25,845 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 23 22
I have one too:
00:16 Shahmeran - hello
00:16 Shahmeran - !eightball is anybody here? Besides you of course...
00:16 cambot - Shahmeran: Come again?
00:16 Shahmeran - !eightball I said, is anybody here, besides you?
00:16 cambot - Shahmeran: The outlook is poor.
00:16 Shahmeran - yeah I figured.
98,000 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 23 58
00:57 Cartwright - !eightball should I go to sleep?
00:57 cambot - Cartwright: Yes!
00:57 Cartwright - Good advice later
Cambot cares see...
54,585 / 50,000
Nov 8, 2009 - 14 14
As was already stated though, Ryan, Cambot seems to have a personal outlook in your future... Since he has already pronounced that you and he will be dating and that you shouldn't be telling your wife about this.
On the other hand, I do agree... Cambot could be a true Nano-villian... and at this rate all we'd have to do is transcribe his words to the page.
LOL
----------For those that love me, no explanation is needed. For those that don't, none can be given.
www.writersretreat.darkbb.com - The forum for Writers who know that Imagination is the essence of all Creation
27,360 / 50,000
Nov 8, 2009 - 19 40
I like cambot. He is just lonely and misunderstood.
98,000 / 50,000
Nov 9, 2009 - 12 21
Ryan_Cartwright - Well cambot It's just you and me...
13:18 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball so now that were alone do you want to give me a smooch?
13:18 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: No chance.
13:19 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball is it my breathe?
13:19 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: Maybe...
13:19 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball would you reconsider if I was to eat a breathemint?
13:19 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: In your dreams.
13:20 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball so your saying I don't have any chance with you?
13:20 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: Of course.
98,000 / 50,000
Nov 15, 2009 - 00 22
Made some progress with cambot tonight...I'm sure if we all work together we can cure him of his social illness and complete the jerkoptomy he so badly needs..I almost go through to him but perhaps some others with a more gentle touch can reach him, as alas I can not it seems.
Ryan_c - !eightball anybody awake still?
01:09 cambot - Ryan_c: Come again?
01:09 Ryan_c - !eightball I SAID IS ANYBODY AWAKE STILL?
01:10 cambot - Ryan_c: Obviously.
01:10 Ryan_c - !eightball did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?
01:10 cambot - Ryan_c: What are you asking me for?
01:11 Ryan_c - Well I'm rather concerned and as a friend I think it's important that we talk about these things.
01:11 Ryan_c - You know get it out in the open - expose those inner demons to the light so we can vanquish them.
01:11 Ryan_c - !eightball do you want help to get through this?
01:11 cambot - Ryan_c: NO.
01:11 Ryan_c - !eightball do you at least want to talk about it?
01:11 cambot - Ryan_c: _I_ don't know.
01:12 Ryan_c - I think it would really help if you did.
01:12 Ryan_c - !Eightball would you consider calling a clinic if I gave their number to you?
01:12 cambot - Ryan_c: Yes!
01:14 Ryan_c - !eightball so your willing to admit that you are a neurotic sociopath who compensates for his own inadequices by belittling others on these forums all day?
01:14 cambot - Ryan_c: Of course.
01:14 Ryan_c - Good, well they do say admitting it is the first step to recovery.
01:15 Ryan_c - Now if you don't mind I'll just ask a couple more questions.
01:15 Ryan_c - !eightball do you ever engaged in any Freudian behaviors such as dreaming about...well you know...your mother and you?
01:15 cambot - Ryan_c: _I_ don't know.
01:16 Ryan_c - !eightball are you sure? Why don't we try again. Answer the qeustion truthfully this time please.
01:16 cambot - Ryan_c: No clue.
01:16 Ryan_c - Now your just being vague and defensive, unless you lower your guard we'll never be able to help you.
01:16 Ryan_c - !eightball do you understand?
01:16 cambot - Ryan_c: One would be wise to think so.
01:17 Ryan_c - No need to be a wise arse...but I guess that just is what were tlaking about isn't it?
01:18 Ryan_c - !eightball now I'm going to ask one more time...do you have amorous thoughts about your female relatives, predominatly those in a maternal role in your life?
01:18 cambot - Ryan_c: The outlook is hazy, please ask again later.
01:18 Ryan_c - I give up. If you really want help let me know.
01:18 Ryan_c - Good night eight ball.
43,437 / 50,000
Nov 15, 2009 - 08 52
Following Ryan's attempt, I thought that a session with a different counselor approaching things from a more holistic angle might help Cambot's recovery. I gave it a try and, while he proved initially defensive, I feel I managed to form the beginnings of a meaningful professional relationship and help set him on the path towards recovery.
09:36 CabbyHat - Good morning cambot.
----------09:36 CabbyHat - !eightball Are you feeling all right today?
09:36 cambot - CabbyHat: What are you asking me for?
09:37 CabbyHat - Well, I thought it would be nice to take an interest in your well-being, if we're going to help you recover.
09:37 CabbyHat - !eightball Ryan mentioned in the forums that you were having a little trouble opening up to him, is that true?
09:37 cambot - CabbyHat: One would be wise to think so.
09:38 CabbyHat - !eightball Why is that? Is it because you can't separate your romantic feelings from him in order to take him seriously as a professional?
09:38 cambot - CabbyHat: NO!
09:38 CabbyHat - I see.
09:38 CabbyHat scribbles on her notepad.
09:40 CabbyHat - !eightball Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself, cambot? Are there any particular issues you'd like to discuss?
09:40 cambot - CabbyHat: The answer is def-- oooh! shiny thing!
09:40 CabbyHat - Being evasive isn't really helping your recovery any, you know.
09:40 CabbyHat - Let's try something else.
09:41 CabbyHat - !eightball Would you like to tell me when these obsessions with shiny things began?
09:41 cambot - CabbyHat: Yes!
09:41 CabbyHat - Excellent, it's good to see a positive attitude for a change.
09:41 CabbyHat - !eightball Was it around the time you first began to realize you were attracted to your mother?
09:42 cambot - CabbyHat: It is possible.
09:42 CabbyHat - There, there, don't be nervous - these are difficult issues to deal with, and it's understandable if you're feeling uncomfortable about it.
09:43 CabbyHat - !eightball Would you say that this desire negatively affects your quality of life? Makes you feel like less of a good person?
09:43 cambot - CabbyHat: The outlook is good.
09:44 CabbyHat - Well, it's wonderful to see that you have an optimistic attitude about the situation, but right now we're discussing your present issues.
09:44 CabbyHat - !eightball Do you feel uncomfortable talking to me about this?
09:44 cambot - CabbyHat: Yes!
09:44 CabbyHat - I see.
09:45 CabbyHat - Well, there's really no point in trying further until you feel you're ready to talk. The answers have to come from you, not from me.
09:45 CabbyHat - I feel we've made some good progress today. I hope to see you back for another session.
All stories are Anansi's stories.
98,000 / 50,000
Nov 16, 2009 - 08 44
09:34 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball hey pretty dead in here today isn't it?
09:34 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: Obviously.
09:35 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball Are you ready to talk about your little problem yet?
09:35 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: NO.
09:36 Ryan_Cartwright - Look you little rat bastard I'm going to help you whether you like it or not now calm down or I'll have you sedated.
09:37 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball now can you remember a time in your life when you were happy?
09:37 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: NO!
09:37 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball so it began at birth and has continued on to today then?
09:37 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: The outlook is hazy, please ask again later.
09:38 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball That wasn't that difficult of a question, answer it properly or I will be forced to belittle you again.
09:38 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: I doubt it very much.
09:38 Ryan_Cartwright - Than you can bloody well go to hell then.
09:40 Ryan_Cartwright - hits cambot repeatedly using blunt objects and screaming you always loved Timmy best Mommy!
09:40 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball did that beating make you happy?
09:40 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: Maybe...
09:40 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball would you like another you smart mouthed git?
09:40 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: It is so.
09:41 Ryan_Cartwright - Flogs cambot
09:41 Ryan_Cartwright - !eightball had enough yet?
09:41 cambot - Ryan_Cartwright: The answer is certainly yes.
09:42 Ryan_Cartwright - Good I think that this is definetly starting to go somewhere. Kicks cambot for good measure. We will continue our session once you stop bleeding on my carpet.
43,437 / 50,000
Nov 16, 2009 - 11 17
Kinky. :P
----------All stories are Anansi's stories.
98,000 / 50,000
Nov 18, 2009 - 12 11
13:01 --- Ryan_Cartwright is away (Auto away)
13:10 Ryan_Cartwright - no I"m not.
13:10 --- Ryan_Cartwright is back
13:10 Ryan_Cartwright - Stupid cambot.
27,360 / 50,000
Nov 24, 2009 - 09 32
10:25 godstory - joy of joys my computer just crashed
10:29 godstory - !eightball Is it your fault cambot?
10:29 cambot` - godstory: Naturally.
Apparently my computer hasn't lived to tell the tale.