Drunk Speech

For me, it depends on the accent, and how far you want to take it. Here's a few examples of extreme to more simplified....

For example, a drunken Scotsman will not be understood by anyone if he's stoned:

Extreme: "Yehr no' gonna pu' tha' o're'un mae! Ah'll bee' yeh w'th'n'un inchaeyer laehf afore Ah du summat shtupid lahk tha', yeh no braen' tweh'!"
((Translation: "You're not going to pull that over on me. I'll beat you within an inch of your life before I do something that stupid like that, you no brained twit!"))
Simplified: "Yer no' gonna pull tha' o're on me! I'll beat ya within an inch a yer life 'afore I do somethin' stupid like tha', ya no brain' twi'!"

Someone from the South(ern part of the United States) would be like:

Extreme: "Yoo ain' gohn' du nuthin da'me. Ah'll beat withinnuh incha yer life 'fore Ah du su'um stup'd like da(h)'!"
Simplified: You ain't gonna do nuthin ta me. I'll beat you within' a inch a yer life 'fore I do somethin' stupid like dat.

A Mexican* speaking English would be like:

Extreme: Aye no' theenk yoo comprende, ese! Aye no' du-eeng that! Yoo can no maek (

Remember remember the Month of November:
The endless bad writing of plots.
If we write together
Despite the bad weather
The slow pokes will be like "Say what?!"

I think that someone who isn't a native speaker of a language (this case English) would naturally go back to their native language. In that case, you could throw in a bunch of words from the L1 (liguistic speak for native language). I don't think knowing the grammar of the L1 would be that important here, because if he's wasted, even those from his homeland wouldn't understand him well.

When I wrote a short story involving being drugged up in a way similar to drunkenness, I mostly wrote them right but while explaining that they were slurring and replacing a few words. Like one called the infirmary the "infurry."

Coherence is optional. ;) I think you should decide what kind of drunk your character is first, and then exaggerate to get the speech patterns. For example, a happy cuddle drunk will sound different than a sleepy or sad drunk.

What am I doing still awake?

...Oh wait.

I wouldn't go overboard on changing the spelling of words - it will make your dialogue hard to read. Instead, have him say dumb things, ramble on at length, suggest stupid ideas, or not talk much but be clumsy in his movement.

What comes after NaNo? National Novel Publishing Year! http://www.nanopubye.org

I agree with wonderer, don't go overboard with changing the spelling of words, that makes dialogue frustrating to read. I do have a character stumble over word choice a bit, and I describe his speech as 'slurred.' He does drop an occasional 't'. But I think the best way to portray drunk speech is by the content.

I recently had to write a scene with the main character wasted. And in it he takes the cab to his friend's house (instead of his own) but tries to use his own keys to open it. When his friend answers the MC bursts out laughing because he thought he had somehow stolen his friend's door. He collapses onto the couch and when his friend's dog starts licking his hand he accuses the carpet of licking him.

Agreed with the above.

A little slurring would be acceptable, I'd think. I usually portray drunkenness with pauses and changes in the natural word order (switching words around, etc.) and the creation of new, creative and plastered compounds like instead of "somebody" I'll use "somedude," or "thatabody."

Metaphors be with you.

Trust me, I know about drunk speeches from going to my family member's weddings ;D
Honestly, they just babble on and on, usually swaying some. They also slur and stop for a long moment of time staring into space. And usually they are holding a beer bottle ;)