Hi. Still working on my opening paragraphs, wondering if I could get some opinions as to how my style affects the reader.
Conveniently, the last stable place in the collapsing universe was on a hill overlooking the city. Convenient, because this afforded the wild-looking gypsy man in the black greatcoat a fine view of the last moments of the land below, which he watched with a vague interest. It was less useful to the folk on the plains below, fleeing their crumbling city, unaware as they were of this last safe spot.
Not that it would do them any good, thought the gypsy man, pulling a cigarette from somewhere inside his coat and lighting up.
I'm going for a humorous tone throughout the story, but as this is early on it's harder to wedge in there and it's probably not worth forcing.
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1,339 / 50,000
Nov 8, 2009 - 17 31
As an opening paragraph, you are doing just fine and I would expect to have the novel be in a slightly ironic tone. But style is something you worry about AFTER november. Get the words on the page THEN worry about making them sound good.
----------"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
2009-Brother Monkey, Brother Lion, Sister Crow2009 -Bunnystar Galactica Psychic Bunnies IN SPACE
35,016 / 50,000
Nov 8, 2009 - 17 31
Don't worry about that yet. Write your story now, polish it after November!
----------What comes after NaNo? National Novel Publishing Year! http://www.nanopubye.org
22,567 / 50,000
Nov 9, 2009 - 02 27
Thanks for the comments. I wouldn't be worrying about the style, but I'm having a lot of trouble progressing...
35,016 / 50,000
Nov 9, 2009 - 09 58
Is your concern about the style holding you back, or is it something else that's the problem? I don't know if your word count bar is up to date, but if it is, you are letting your Inner Critic/Inner Editor have too much sway. Lock them up, beat them up, and keep typing no matter what they say. You can't edit a blank page. Good luck!
----------What comes after NaNo? National Novel Publishing Year! http://www.nanopubye.org