Sweetbreads were the last thing on John’s mind. Someone had caught one of the runners naked in the walk-in. While the person who did the catching swore the runner was alone, John couldn’t help but wonder if he was getting the whole story. Someone was covering for someone else. As much as he dreaded it, John was going to have to carve time out of an already overfilled afternoon to talk to the runner.

He managed to get back to his office without being seen by anyone else, sat down and proceeded to go through yesterday’s mail. He even had the presence of mind to leave his radio off so he could have ten minutes of undisturbed thinking time before he had to talk to the runner, whose name was Berkshire, but who went by the name of Burke or Berk or something like that. There was a knock at the door.

“What’s your name?” John hollered.

“It’s Berkeley, Chef.”

“Berkeley?”

“Yes, Chef. I’m one of your runners. Can I come in?”

John was so very tempted to tell the kid no and then just forget about it. Then again, there was a freezer full of meat that might need to be thrown out because of this kid. It made no sense on any level to just let that go.

“Come on in,” he said and told him to close the door behind him. “So let’s talk about what you were doing in the walk-in and I want to know if Marshall was telling the truth about finding you naked."

“I’m afraid so, Chef.”

“Why? Were you with a girl?”

“No, Chef.”

“Well?”

“Chef, I wish I could speak with candor about this, but I really can’t. This would upset my family so much if they knew …”

“Were you with a boy?”

“No, Chef.”

“Okay then. What is it? What were you doing naked in the walk-in?”

“Do you have to know?”

“YES!”

“Do you promise to keep an open mind and not tell my parents?”

“Yes!”

“What if I just said that the animal bodies were in no way harmed and leave it at that?”

“I can’t accept that. I really have to know what happened. At this point your job depends on it.”

“Okay okay okay.”

“Okay…”

“I was apologizing to the departed animals.”

“You were apologizing to the meat?”

“Yes, Chef. I was apologizing to them.”

“And you were naked because…”

“I was naked because I was one animal apologizing to another one. I needed to be as natural as possible. So, I got naked. You see?”

John shook his head. “No. I don’t. Did you actually do anything to the meat?”

“You mean to the dead animals?”

“I mean to the meat. Did you touch it? Did you -oh Lord- rub yourself against it or anything?”

“I apologized to them. That was all”

So you just said ‘I’m sorry.’ in the nude in the walk-in.”

“Yes.”

Well, this was going to be fun to explain to the health department, especially since they had more than likely already been told.

“Buckley? I think you need-“

“Berkeley.”

“What?”

“My name is Berkeley, Chef.”

“Well, Berkeley, you need to take the rest of the week off and decide if you think a career in food service is right for you. The reality is that cooking consists of applying changes to formerly alive substances to make them taste good so people will buy them. Does that mean I’m going to hurt a carrot’s feelings or insult a chicken? Absolutely. That’s a decision I will just have to live with. You, in turn, must decide if you can live with me living with that decision. Are we on the same page about this?”

“I don’t rightly know, Chef.”

“Well, you have until Sunday night to figure that one out. In the meantime Berkeley, please keep your clothes on for the rest of the time you’re on the premises and think hard about this. Getting naked around people’s food just isn’t gonna cut it”