Making Mary Jingle
an excerpt

Super-Cheese Girl saw what she was looking for – a tiny grocers on the corner up ahead. She just hoped they had the cheese she was in dire need for. Super-Cheese Girl would need something to incapacitate the culprit, like Banon, or Livarot! Livarot would be excellent. If only she had remembered to take an extra snack pack before leaving the house this morning, she wouldn’t have to settle for any cheese.

“Good morning!” Super-Cheese Girl smiled widely at the man behind the counter, her strong, white teeth brightening up the store. “I don’t suppose you’d have any Livarot?” She took a quick glance around to see loaves of bread on the shelves, pre-packaged food and noodle packets, but no sight of any cheese anywhere at all. This was getting dire!

The man’s forehead wrinkled severely as he considered the name, “Lee-vah-who? I don’t know what fancy thing that is, ma’am, but I’m sure we don’t have it. Now if you tell me what that is, I’m sure we can find something similar – if not an equal substitute! We got a great little store here – best in the neighborhood, so I’m sure we could find something to make you happy, ma’am! Let me try.” Super-Cheese Girl wondered if spray cheese held any hidden powers – but she doubted it.

“It’s a cheese. It is a very pungent, soft cheese from France. Very stinky. Have anything close? Maybe a Roquefort, at least?” Super-Cheese Girl was feeling the pressure of time and how she was losing precious moments of it by not chasing after that crook. She only hoped that her faithful and talented canine companion could keep up the chase and hold the thief down until she could get there.

“I have some Tilsiter…we’re all out of Limburger,” the man said while buried amongst the inventory. He whooped triumphantly, “We have Munster!”

“Who? Oh! The Cheese! No way!” Super-Cheese Girl fought the gagging sensation climbing up her throat. “Anything but that one. Please keep looking!”

“Super-Cheese Girl!” a woman’s voice came from the other side of the store. “George – don’t you know who this is? This is Super-Cheese Girl? Where’s Munster?”

“She says she doesn’t want Munster, Mildred!” George said somewhat frustrated, still desperate to find an appropriate cheese for this difficult, yet beautiful, patron.

“No, her dog, George. Munster is the name of her dog,” Mildred rolled her eyes. “Silly husband. You need some help, Super-Cheese Girl? You say you’re looking for a certain cheese?”

Super-Cheese Girl nodded, her voice carrying a bit more anxiety than she had wanted to admit, “Stinky cheese! Got any? I don’t have much time, now!”

Mildred thought a moment before waddling into the backroom of the shop and handed Super-Cheese Girl a lump of the smelliest cheese ever. It seemed to make the room start to roll from side to side and Super-Cheese Girl propped herself up against the counter. “What’s that one?”

“It was an ordering mistake,” she gave the man a nasty glare. “Got this in yesterday. My husband thought he was getting a new fancy bologna, but this came instead. It’s called Vieux Boulogne and it reeks so much, I think that’s what’s been giving me this roaring headache.” Mildred pushed the bundle closer to Super-Cheese Girl. “Please, take it away or else we’re going to pass out. It’s already upset my cat, Mister Smoopy, and I swear George’s arthritis has gotten worse since that’s been here.”

A giddy, lightheadedness that Super-Cheese Girl could have easily attributed to the piercing odor of the cheese filled her head. This was the cheese! “Thank you so much! How much do I owe you?” Super-Cheese Girl reached into the strategically placed hidden pocket of her superhero outfit to fish out some money.

“No, no!” Mildred shooed at Super-Cheese Girl with her hands. “Don’t worry about it. You’re Super-Cheese Girl! You keeping our neighborhood safe from criminals is enough payment for a cheese we didn’t even want! Please. Take it – you’ll be doing us another big favor getting it away from us! I just hope it isn’t too strong for even you, Super-Cheese Girl…” the woman said, her eyebrows high on her head in wonder and concern.

“A cheese too strong for me?” Super-Cheese Girl laughed good-naturedly. “I’ll be just fine, ma’am – but thank you for your concern! I must be off! Munster must be worried as to where I am. Thanks again for the cheese!” The dairy-infused superhero, with the mighty Vieux Boulogne in hand, left the corner market shop to catch up to her equally super heroic canine sidekick.