Double trouble
an excerpt

"Mom, Hi, How are you?" I was calling her for information, but since I hadn't spoken with her in over a week I thought I better get the preliminaries out of the way.
"Hello Dear. We are fine. How is everything with you? You father is out golfing, I just got in from the store. So what have you been up to? I heard you went to talk to Dr. Daniel."
Oh, God. My mother still thinks I should have married him. Even with him married and with 2.5 kids, she still holds out a hope. I felt the twitch starting all over again.
"Yes Mom, there has been some excitement in Bayville this week."
"Excitement! I hear people are dying because of your recklessness. I can't believe you are putting people in danger, just because you think it is fun to drive around in that car. You could have been killed. In fact someone else was. How could you do this to me!"
Dear old Mom, always has a flair for the dramatic. What was I thinking calling to ask for her help? I should have know the Bayville gossip grapevine would have made its way to her already. And completely misinformed as usual.
"I didn't kill anyone Mom. They ran me off the road. And the dead guy was shot. And no, I didn't shoot him."
The twitch was picking up pace now.
"I am working for Luther. He thought the twins might need representation, so he asked me to speak to Dr. Dan. Daniel is doing fine and sends his love. He is still very happily married, and no, I didn't sleep with him."
"Now Cowlee no need to be vulgar. I am just concerned. I heard all these terrible rumors, and of course they involve you. I care about your safety."
Who is she kidding? My mom cut that umbilical cord while I was still in utero. My parents had a sink or swim parenting style. The Darwinian approach. If any of us was ever in a fix, my parents told us to just "problem solve".
My mother's idea of keeping us safe was to suggest that we remove ourselves from the dangerous situation, or to suggest that we should not have gotten ourselves into the situation to begin with. This is stating the obvious, and how is that helpful?
So here I was running for my life, and I already know what she is going to say, so why did I call?
"I need some information. That is why I am calling. This situation in Bayville involves the house. There is a story about buried treasure and these bad guys think that there is a map somewhere in the house. I have to find it before they do. And before they take the house apart stick by stick. Do you know anything about what is going on? I need to know."
All I heard was silence. The dreaded pause. This usually spoke great disappointment upon me, and my siblings. But I had to know so I persisted. "Mom, is there something I need to know? What is there in the family stories that could involve treasures and maps, I don't understand."
"Okay…You had a great uncle, or maybe he was a second cousin to your great grandmother…He was a pirate. We have always been ashamed of this. It is the family curse. We have flawed genes. He was a hellion, and I knew this was always your trouble. I knew this episode would come back to haunt us. Look at you, you can't follow a normal path in life. It is in your genes to make trouble. You have pirate genes." I heard a snuffle.
Well, that clarifies a few things. I would be offended, if I wasn't laughing so hard. All I could feel was positively overjoyed. I was a pirate.
I knew it!
"Seriously Mom. What is really going on? This is important I need to know." Pirate! Ha!
"I can't tell you on the phone. Come into town, and I will meet you at Denny's."
My parents love Denny's. They can eat off the senior menu for like $3.00 and their coffee is free. It is all they talk about. My mom pretends that she is a good cook. But if it weren't for Denny's my father would have starved to death years ago.
I told her I would meet her at 11am. I didn't tell her that I was already in Abernathy, because that would lead to where I was staying. Which would lead to more questions, which would lead to the full interrogation. And then my mother would not be able to resist telling her friends, e-mailing all the relatives, and putting the information on the prayer chain at the church.
I got off the phone just as Duffy shuffled into the kitchen. He was still rubbing a towel around his head to dry his hair. He was not wearing a shirt, and he had thrown some sweats on. I couldn't help notice he was probably going commando under those sweats.
I tried to level my breathing. God, lucky Me! If I didn't have serious business to discuss with him, I would have jumped him right there on the kitchen floor.
"Well, as it turns out, I am a pirate."
"Well that clarifies a few things." He said with a wide grin.
"I know. It sure does for me too." In an effort to not jump him and yank off those sweats, I offered him a cup of coffee. And he kissed me on top of my head.
When our eyes locked. He started to set down his mug. Then as if he had a second thought he first drank a long pull of the dark coffee. He let out a sigh and a moan. I am assuming it was the rich coffee goodness.
Then he set down the mug, and took my mug out of my hands and set it down. Then he scooped me up into a big bear hug. His naked chest was so clean and smelled of soap, I melted into him. He gave me a deep passionate kiss, until my knees became noodles. My arms were wrapped around him and my hands began their descent into those sweats.
I admit unashamedly, discovering that my commando theory was correct, I grabbed two big handfuls of juicy cop ass.
I could not get enough of this man.
His embrace and his kiss, I thought he could swallow me whole. We did not want to let go. His hands started to wander a bit too. But we had both just showered, and we had a job to do, so I feigned self-control. Giving one last squeeze, I came up for air, and I pulled away. He let out another sigh, and then a moan and I knew it wasn't for the coffee this time.
"My mom wouldn't discuss this, whatever it is, over the phone. So I told her I would meet her at Denny's at 11am. She thinks big brother is listening on the phone. She went into spy mode. I want to think she was teasing about the pirate part. But if I think about it, it does clarify a few things. She is sort of scaring me. What if…"
Duffy was back to moaning into his coffee cup again. But flashed me a smile with his big green eyes. "You my dear, are a nut."
"Why, thank you, you are not so bad yourself. Glad I could be a humor to you."
"Oh you are so much more than a humor to me, I am worried you are an obsession."
"I love being your obsession. Bring it on, Big Boy. But I have to get dressed and meet Mom. You think you are obsessed with me now. You haven't met my family yet. If this pirate theory holds true, you should run away as long, fast and hard as you can."
"I would hate to have to arrest you for pillaging, but the raping part sounds interesting."
"Yeah, Yeah, won't your cop friends miss you if you don't get back to work soon. Or is this your special witness protection service. To serve and protect, is it?"
"That is right. I am just doing my job. I take pride in my work."
"I take pride in your work too. But I have to practice hiding this smile in front of the mirror for a while, or my mother will see it a mile away. Mothers know these things. I don't want to have to explain all this."
"What is to explain? I am not afraid of your mother. I am in this for keeps. I am serious." He tried to kiss me again. His smile was going to need some training too. It was evil in its grandness.
I pulled away, "The Bayville Grapevine. I am a suspect, remember?"
"Oh. I will clear that up. It is not really a problem. I just told you that to get you into my lair alone." He grabbed at me again.
"Yeah right. Like that was so hard." I chuckled. He kissed me again light and soft. He was so sweet.
Luck-y Me!