Excerpt: Like Headsets for Handcuffs

We're kind of awkwardly quiet after the laughter died down. "Would it be weird for me to say I'd miss you, Lyle? I know we haven't ever really known each other, like, at all, but..."

"It's not weird." I remember that he smiled as he said this, and you know what kind of effect Lyle's smile has on me. "There would definitely be the feeling of something missing on the floor once you're gone. Sudden showtunes coming out of nowhere, wacky outfits, red hair and all that," he laughed.

"Um, thanks, Lyle?"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll miss you, too."

I nodded. "Cool. Like, I get that I'm just another of the many who have come and gone through the automated doors, but I feel a little warm and fuzzy knowing that there are people who will remember me, even for a little while."

"Of course. I would, too."

"If I'm not leaving my footprints behind, I am at the very least leaving an LSS in people's heads."

"Nobody did 'Defying Gravity' better, Amber."

I think my jaw dropped open. Literally. "You actually know the title of that song?"

"Well, seeing as how that's the hook of the song and you always belt that part the loudest, then I figured..." he trailed off. "All right, I've seen Wicked, like, twice with my mom."

"Did you like it?" I laughed.

"No. ...Yes. I maybe kind of like it a lot and memorize the lyrics. Maybe."

"I really wish we could have had the chance to talk more, then. Brenda thinks Xanadu is the name of a brand of washing detergent."

He totally does a belly laugh at this point. I made Lyle laugh. I am super-cool.

"It was nice knowing the little of you I got to know, Lyle," I said. "I'm sure you would have been a nice guy."

And in a surprising show of "I'm leaving today, anyway" bravado, I reach forward and squeeze his hand affectionately before I leave.

...Okay, fine, it was more of a manly clap on the shoulder. What-EVER, I still felt fuzzy about it.

And I have one and a half feet out the sliding door when I hear him call out, "You know, I do have an easier solution for this."

I stepped back inside. "For what?"

"Well, I wouldn't eventually forget about you, and you would also get to know that I really am an awesome guy, if we, um, stayed in touch."

I remember biting my lower lip here and trying not to freak out and/or hump his leg. "What are you getting at, Assistant Manager Lyle?" I instead said, kind of flirty and semi-oblivious.

"Miss Amber, I'm getting at "Give me your number so I can send a few pre-fabricated semi-witty messages once in a while and you can forward me the numbers of cute college girls that you know."

He's totally John Cusack or Robert Downey, Jr. in an 80's rom com. I fall for it hook, line and sinker.

And dependably enough, Candy butts in from four feet away to ruin the moment. "Are you two aware that everyone on the frickin' floor can hear you? She's cute and available, you're cute and available. Enough with the bloody Shakespeare, just ask her out already and get a room, for God's sake!"