Excerpt: Kingdom of Solace

To say it has been a long time would be an understatement. It is cold and dark here, always dark. Every so often in the vast amount of time I see a small spark of brown light; not quite strong enough to break through its own shadow, but it stays warm for what it is worth. I give the small star a short million years to live. Then it will be cold once again. All things come to an end. All this will fade away and die, except for me.
I do not remember it all. The countless lives I have lived, the people I may have loved, hurt, created, destroyed, neutered or corrupted. I do remember the bits and pieces of my life, if you could call it that. I remember when I first woke up from a deep slumber as that boy, that child. I suppose the first life I will never forget. I remember Chaos; I will never forget any of my memories of Chaos. I do not know if Chaos was real or even if I existed then. All I know is that I remember it most vividly of all. The memory that most dominates my eternal mind is Chaos. It was there I fell in love for the first time. It was in Chaos that I found life. I felt as if I was born there. One thing that I can say defiantly about Chaos is that control, order, rules, did not exist there, and neither did time.
To quantify Chaos was to control Chaos, and Chaos by definition, can never be controlled. It was sex, it was war, and above all else it was the essential feeling of an unlimited primal conflict. Endless in all: Endless in nothing. That is how we all existed in Chaos. We loved with an endless love stronger than you could ever imagine. We fought in endless battles in an endless war; Blood, energy, our most basic life force was constantly being ripped and torn out of us from every fiber of our being. It was pure ecstasy and pure pain, pure love and untainted hate. It was the best experience I ever felt.