Excerpt: My Boyfriend Is A Superhero

Carrie slaps the morning paper down on my desk with a huff, almost upsetting my precious morning cup of hot brewed Columbian slavery in a Seattle green logo. I purse my lips and frown at her disapprovingly, hoping she’d possibly, just once, leave me alone until I’d had my fifth skinny whip cappuccino and was able to function like a humanoid. She knows I have no brain until around ten but still insists on having real meaningful, political and possibly adult conversations before then, obviously she likes talking to herself because the most I can contribute to these chats is a small but distinguished dribble of drool down the front of my blouse.
“ Still don’t believe me?” she asks as I take a courtesy glance at what almost cost me my pre-morning buzz. In bold black ink the headlines scream out at me:

THE MASKED Z SAVES TRAIN FROM UNCERTAIN DOOM!

Below is a grainy picture of a black spandex clad figure holding a train aloft and away from the newly collapsed sky bridge on 71st ave.
“ No? What am I not believing? That these people with super strength and hearing and who knows what else are still the biggest fashion don’ts the universe has seen in a million space years? Then yes, I don’t believe it.” I push the edition aside in favor of splashing in the comforting warm glow of my coffee and forgetting about news.
“ Believe that you’re sleeping with the most notorious heart throb of a super freak in the upper west side of Metropolis.” She picks up the rejected bundle and smirks down at it, her shiny dark curls bracketing her face. I sputter and gingerly set my white cardboard cup that held the only god I’ve ever known aside, far out of the potential flailing zone that always results when Carrie and I get into semantics… okay I don’t actually know what that means, it just sounds better than that whole ‘my boyfriend is not a superhero, he is to, is not, to, not, to-‘ thing.