Erevna Anazitisi Anazito
an excerpt

Meanwhile, a ninja, in the service of Bob, crept into the area behind his master. Bob glanced up curiously, and returned to his paper acting as if this was normal. Silent as the wind, but smelling like pig fart and as visible as a neon light display in the Blitz, the servant shouted, aiming to shock his master.
“NOO! I mean, BOO! Aw, it's all gone wrong now, hasn't it?”
Bob laughed. “It went wrong well before that, my friend. You need a bath, strange as it may seem to you. You smell like a rotten cheese block that has been left for sixteen straight weeks without being looked at. Your route was terrible; I couldn't have seen you easier even if you were wearing a luminous yellow high visibility jacket. Fix those, and you might surprise one of my apprentices. But I'm too good for you. I could hear the scraping of the stones moving as your weight grated them across each other. You cannot catch me unawares.”
“Bugger.”
Bob's sword, Baloriolikor, burst out laughing. “Is this a common way of humour in your world, mortal? Or is it just you?”
Bob grinned. “Common enough, but I use it more than most do.”
“I may enjoy this stay even more than I had anticipated....”
“Good. I'd hate to think you were being neglected in there. But, messenger, you must have had SOME reason for coming to me. Why did you come to visit me on such an urgent matter that it would interrupt my reading?”
“Uh, Trelos wasn't pleased when you kicked him off here. He is threatening to put you on the Legionnaire Blacklist if you don't return with that demon' head within the hour.”
“Give him a message back: Screw you.”
“You are suicidal, Bob. You cannot withstand the legion alone.”
“I am not alone. Baloriolikor rests in my hand, and they fight with me.”
“It's a weapon, not an army. You'd need the latter.”
“Give him the bloody message. Go on, sometime today preferably.”
The ninja looked around in disbelief, trying to find some clue that he was joking.
Bob growled. “Why aren't you gone yet?”
The ninja looked shocked, but bowed and returned to Trelos' side with his message.
But there was deadly serious business going on in the lavatory....