Once upon an ugly town!
an excerpt

This is a tale that has been erased from the history records for reasons unknown, like zombies or aliens or something like that.
Anyways, there was once a king named Jimmy who ruled over the land of Drydek. A fool who’s vanity could only be rivalled by Narcissus. You know, the idiot who fell in love with his reflection in the water that he ended up falling in and drowning.
Yeah, well, King Jimmy was in love with himself. In true Snow White form he even bought him a magic mirror to tell him how hot he was.
Every day he would stand in infront of that thing wearing nothing but his skin, and every day the mirror would say “King Jimmy, you are so sexy!” and then the man in the mirror would go and do dirty things to clear its mind.
As ridiculous as that sounds, I assure you that it is most certainly true! However, that is not exactly where the tale of ridiculous tragedy begins. It begins when the people started to question the king’s ability to create an heir.
Well, vain King Jimmy could hardly bring himself to choose a wife for himself, for how could a man as beautiful as King Jimmy find a woman that even rivalled his own beauty? Well, he couldn’t! It was not that the women of the village weren’t pretty, it was that Jimmy was prettier!
He turned his nose up at any offered wives, forcing them to stand and look in the mirror with him to see if they even came close to looking good beside him. Every woman in the village failed.
Jimmy, now worried that he would become a laughing stock, or worse, be replaced with a king that could take a wife, opted to trick the people of Drydek.
Grabbing the tallest broom he could find, he clothed it in women’s clothes and an opera mask with long curling brown hair. He stuffed the sleeves with pillows and cotton, anything to fill them out. It didn’t need to be perfect, he decided, as he would only show the people his darling wife from afar.
“Princess…princess what?” Flustered, Jimmy stormed back and forth throughout the room, kicking things angrily, and then whimpering over sore toes when he stubbed them on a large vase.
“Sir, if I may, perhaps you should choose something easy to remember, something you won’t forget easily, as she will have to be your wife,” his advisor, Sharky McGee, told him while trying to stifle his laughter.
“Okay, her name is Masky broomston! Yes! Its perfect!” King Jimmy did a happy little dance.
“Um, sir? How about something more…”
“Shut up! No one asked you!” Jimmy shouted, and then descended on his ‘wife’.
“Oh, Masky! You’re the only woman for me!...ooh, Masky, you’ve such a dirty mind! I’ll go and get some chains and you meet me in the bedroom!”
Sharky shook his head, realizing that the king was entirely serious about taking the broom into his chambers. He only prayed that he would not hear anything too disturbing echoing through the halls that night.