Working title: First Times at Bridgemont High
an excerpt

Sadie stepped out of the shower in a cloud of steam. She dried off and wrapped the towel, turban-style, around her dripping hair. While she brushed her teeth, the fog gradually cleared until she could make out a cloudy reflection.
“What the hell is that?” she mumbled. “Oh, great—fanfuckingtastic!” A huge zit winked at her from right in the middle of her forehead, like a third eye. She resisted the urge for a brief moment. Then with a sigh she proceeded to empty the zit with a satisfying pop. Pus shot out and stuck to the mirror. Gross, but oddly satisfying. She wiped off the mirror and dabbed the now red and swollen pore with a bit of concealer.
She examined her naked body carefully in the mirror. Average height, average weight; not great, but not freakshow either. Broad shoulders and hips, but a narrow waist and a flat stomach. “If only my boobs would grow out of a stupid A-cup, I think I would be okay,” she thought.
Her calico cat, Lo-Cal interrupted this train of thought with a high-pitched, demanding yowl. This was their routine every morning—Sadie trying to get dressed and out the door, the cat demanding food. As Lo-Cal snaked between Sadie’s ankles, alternately meowing and purring, Sadie noted the tell-tale bulge in the cat’s belly that signaled yet another litter of kittens on the way. Sadie looked sadly at her cat and thought that the only time she looked healthy was when she was pregnant. The rest of the time, she looked like a balloon the day after a birthday party. Lo-Cal yowled again to remind Sadie that she still had not eaten breakfast.
“Okay, already, you big slut,” muttered Sadie as she wrapped herself in the towel and shuffled downstairs to the kitchen. She refilled Lo-Cal’s food and water bowls and headed back upstairs to get dressed and to try to do something with her hair.
Sadie stared blankly into the bathroom mirror for several minutes as she tried to decide on the best first-day-of-school ‘do. She parted her long fine, mousy brown hair down the middle and plaited it into long braids. “Gotta start the year by making a good impression. Teachers love the cute little good girl look.”
Sadie heard the two sharp chirps that meant Lorelei was waiting in the driveway in her beat up yellow Bug. She dressed quickly in faded jeans and a t-shirt and raced downstairs. “Bye, Mom,” she called as she slammed out the door too fast to hear the reply.