Excerpt: My Life As A Dog Angel

first there was roxy. (roxy loxy I'd call her). a one year old boxer who caould leap a 5 foot fence in a single bound. the most accomplished escape artist I have yet to encounter and hopefully the last! roxy had this insanely long tongue that hung out of her mouth constantly, even when her mouth was shut. probably dur to the severe underbite she posessed, even for a boxer!

She liked to play with cigarrette smoke. She'd follow you around the house, snapping at the ribbon of smoke rising from the the cigarrete. i'm not sure wether she liked the taste, or if it was just a fun game.

Speaking of games, roxy's favorite game was to escape through the front door at any opportunity and play the "ha ha, you can't catch me!" game around the whole neighborhood. one morning, in nothing but my housecoat, she got by me as i went to get the mail. imagine trying to your housecoat closed missing a belt to keep it shut, while reaching for the mail in your bare feet, while trying to play goalie with the most resourceful and slippery dog ever! I think she must have been part ninja. well needless to say, roxy got out.

i ended up chasing her around the whole neighbourhood in nothing but a housecoat that wouldnt stay closed,and a pair of gripless runners in the midle of winter. i ended up chasing her for the better part of an hour before finally cornering her in someones back yard. I faked to the left and dived on her, knocking both of us into a snowbank where i wrestled with the squirmy little bugger and finally caught hold of her collar. did i mention that I was in mothing but my housecoat and some sneakers...

The same thing would happen when roxy would escape the back yard by jumping the fence. Athough thankfully I was usually clothed! I ended up having to take her into the yard onleash everytime she needed to go. this usually entailled being towed araound the yard whilr roxy and dante would run around, bark their fool heads off at eachother. Dante would tear around the edge of the yard whilr roxy would attempt to launch herself at him in an effort to play a game of chase. unfortunalely for my arm i wasn't very good at keeping up! every time roxy would launch herself at dante, shed hit the end of the leash in what i swear was a concious effort to part my arm from its socket.

i became so tired of the "let's drag trish around the yard game that i was desperate for a solution. I was whining about it to a friend who was visiting one day

it had gotten to the point where dante and roxy had figured out that if they wanted out that i had to come too. which of course was way more fun than playing outside without me! So they started asking to go our ALL the time! this had become the breaking point for me. I'd have to get my winter coat on, and boots. then have a rousing game of cartch me with roxy while i tryed to lasso her with the leash. we'd get outside and they'd only want to play. I be freezing my but off and they'd look at me like i was supposed to be enjoying myself, give me up as boring and be off dragging me around the yard again. A couple of times I got fed up with getting dragged across the yard that I foolishly let roxy off the leash. She was gone over the fence in a second, and I'd be off chasing her around the neighbourhood again.

As i finish tellingmy friend about this, he pipes up ans says " why don't you just tie their leashes together?" he suggested nonchalantly. "Dante weighs twice roxy's weight. there's no way she'll make it over the fence with that tank attached to the end of her leash."

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open, it was so simple! I gave myself a mental smack on the forhead. why didn't I think of that! I giggled as I imagined Dante at a robust 92 lbs trying to jump the fence, let alone let little roxy and her bony 50 Lbs drag him over it!

I had to try it right away, although i was still cautious enough to want to be out with them just in case. I looped the two leashed together ans set them free. I watched roxy and dante a little nervously. I looked at my friend, "you get to help catch her if this doesn't work." i smirked. The dogs flew around the yard happy to have the run of it for a change. they were playing in the far corner by th neighbours fence, which just happened to be the lowest part when without warning roxy launched herself effortlessly over it. it's a good thing that the leashes were fairly long, because roxy seemed to have forgotten that dante was still attached to the other end.

there was dante, all four paws planted firmly in the packed snow, pulling against the struggling mass of boxer that was roxy at the other end. Trying not to get pulled into the fence. When I got over there I looked over the fence to see roxy standingon her hind legs trying not to strangle herself on her collar. twisting and turning, trying to escape. I had to laugh, it was so funny! i looked over at my friend who was doubled ove laughing with this "i told dyou so" look on his face. I shook my head as I unhooked dante laughing, and got my friend to hang on to the leash while i went next door to collect roxy.

when I got there i expected to find her looking at least a lilttle sheepish, but instead she looked at me with this defiant "you win this time, but i'v still got more tricks up my sleeve" look. well she didn't escape the yard for the rest of that day or ever again. she and dante got used to being attached at the hip, or should i say neck.
Well I had solved the fence jumping problem but she'd still escape out the front door and i'd end up chasing her around the neighbourhood at least once a week.

Her favorite time to escape seemed to be just as i was trying to leave in the morning, or when someone would come home. I finall got tired of chasing her again and again so i ended up sending dante out after her.