Excerpt: Vampires Don't Have To Go To The Bathroom

Turning Point

Vera looked over her shoulder as she stumbled out of the reception hall in her navy blue gown. She felt like she was going really fast, but she knew somewhere in her mind that she was really just plodding along. Still, the sensation was a bit like Cinderella at the ball. She had to get out of there, and she had to get home before she turned into a pumpkin… or something like that.
No one seemed to follow her. Nevertheless, she tried to quicken her pace as much as she could. She didn’t have time for the car service to come around. By the time she made it to the curb, she was so uneasy that she had to bend over and take a few deep breaths before she could hail a cab. When she stuck her arm in the air, she realized she left her coat inside. She didn’t care - she had other coats. Vera just wanted to go home.
It was not long at all before a cab pulled up. Vera tripped not once, but twice as she tried to climb into the back seat of the cab. After giving the driver her address, she started to comment on the fact that he looked a bit like Morgan Freeman, but she passed out before any of that thought made it past her lips.

Blue looked in the rear-view mirror at the woman who just collapsed in his back seat. He thought she looked a little familiar, but he’s driven a lot of drunk women in fancy dresses. There are millions of them in New York.
Aside from the occasional grunt from the woman’s direction, the cab was silent as Blue drove to her destination. Every few blocks he’d look back to her, but she was still slumped over, asleep. Even in her condition, though, Blue still thought she was a pretty girl.
He pulled up in front of her brownstone apartment, then looked up and down the street. It was a quiet night. Rain drops were just starting to fall. Blue turned and looked at the woman. “Miss,” he called out, “Miss, we’re at your stop. You have to wake up now.”
The woman didn’t move, didn’t respond. Blue got out of the front seat and opened the back door. He called to her again, but still nothing. He shook her shoulder gently.
She jerked awake and put her arms in front of her face instinctively. “Oh,” she said, realizing where she was. “How much is the fare?” She leaned over for her clutch purse that was sitting next to her on the seat.
“Nineteen fifty,” he replied.
She started to dig in her purse. “Shit. Sorry. I only have a twenty, I can’t give you a tip,” she said as she held out the bill for him.
“Don’t worry about that, miss.” He took her arm in both hands, and she tensed up. Blue bit the inside of her wrist, his fangs tearing the skin. The blood started to pour from her.
The woman started to scream, but was unconscious in a matter of seconds. Blue savored the flavor of alcohol in her blood, even though he knew it would have no effect on him. He continued to drink the usual amount from a woman her size, but all of a sudden, there was nothing left to drink.
Blue dropped the woman’s arm, which fell limp at her side. Her eyes were open, her head tilted down with her chin resting on her chest. She looked dead. Blue took a step back, then looked around, panicked. There was still no one around. The street was dark.
“What the hell?” Blue said as he stared at the corpse in his car. “What have I done? Killed her? What do I do now?”
He did the only thing he could think of. He closed the door to the back seat, then got behind the wheel and drove, the woman completely drained of blood sitting in the back seat. When he reached his basement apartment, he lifted the body and brought it inside.
As soon as he set her down, she woke up.

...

Chapter Six: Morning Comes and Night Falls

When Vera woke up, it was still mostly dark in the room. The windows were still covered up, and it took her a moment to remember where she was. Right. Vampires, she reminded herself. So it wasn’t a dream after all. She tried to take a deep breath, but there was no response from her lungs. She coughed a little bit as a reaction, then realized that she didn’t even need that deep breath. She was relaxed and refreshed more than she ever had been back when she was alive. Without realizing it, she started to smile.
Then she realized she was hungry. Famished, starved, ravenous. She had never been this hungry before. She sat up and tried to find Blue. He was standing on the other side of the room with a mug in his hand.
“You’re awake,” he said. Vera decided not to call him out on stating the obvious.
“Is that coffee?” she asked instead.
“Coffee for vampires, I suppose,” he said with a shrug. He walked across the room to where Vera was sitting. He handed her the mug, saying nothing more.
She smelled the contents of the mug, and was surprised that it wasn’t the delicious aroma of ground coffee beans. Instead, it was the hearty scent of blood. Human blood, if she wasn’t mistaken. She was surprised that she was able to identify it so quickly. She held out the mug for Blue, shaking her head. “Nah-uh, I’m not drinking that. Blood is disgusting. There’s no freaking way I’m going to consume that. No. No way.”
Blue refused to take the mug back. “You’re new to this. If I weren’t a vampire, you’d be all over me in a heartbeat. You need to eat, and blood is the only thing your body will accept.”
“Where did you get this,” she asked, eyeing the mug with one eyebrow raised.
“You’d be surprised at how many places a vampire can go unnoticed. Whenever I drop somebody off at a hospital, I’m usually able to sneak in and take a couple blood donation pints from the clinic. I keep them here in my fridge for emergencies, like you.”
“So this did come from a person?” She shuddered again.
“Here’s the way I see it, Vera. Someone donated this blood, hoping to do the little part he could to save someone’s life. He was trying to help people. Now, I’m using that donation to help you. It’s exactly what the donor wanted.”
Vera looked up at Blue. “So we’re completely ignoring the part where you steal the blood from the hospital?”
“I’m a firm believer in the end justifying the means.”
“Let me get this straight - last month we had a blood drive at work. I gave blood. The blood went to a hospital. You stole blood from the hospital. So theoretically, I could be drinking my own blood right now?”
“It’s not your blood.”
“What, you can tell by smelling it or something?” she accused.
“No, but I can tell by taste. You don’t have the whole pint in that mug, you realize. There was more that I drank. And it didn’t taste like you at all. I’m pretty sure this one is from a man.”
Vera let a smile creep onto her face. “So men and women are that different?”
“When it comes down to biology, we’re very different.”
Vera looked into the mug again. “This will make my hunger go away?” When Blue nodded, she faked taking a deep breath and brought the mug to her mouth. “Bottoms up, I suppose.” She opened her mouth and tipped her head back, the contents of the mug, slightly warm, were sliding down her throat.
Now you’re really a vampire, Vera, she told herself. You’ve had a taste for blood now. It can’t disgust you anymore. Isn’t it fantastic? She drank the whole mug in one large gulp, the metallic taste lingering in her mouth. She didn’t hate it. In fact, it wasn’t disgusting at all. I like this. More than she ever could have imagined.
Blue took the mug when Vera was finished. “You liked it, didn’t you?”
Vera refused to respond. She didn’t want to admit it out loud. Instead, she tried to make small talk. “What time is it? You don’t have a clock in here.”
“It’s six thirty in the evening. The sun went down about fifteen minutes ago.”
Vera shot to her feet, scrambling around looking for her coat. “Didn’t I have a coat? I’m still in my clothes from yesterday. Why didn’t you wake me? I was supposed to be working twelve hours ago! The show is over!”
“Vampires can’t be out during the day.”
Vera started screaming. “But my job is my life, and my life is during the day, with sunshine and rainbows and more sunshine! I work on a television morning show, for Christ’s sake. I didn’t even call in sick. They’re going to wonder where I was this morning. Oh, no. This isn’t good.” She looked around Blue’s apartment again, but then remembered that he lived without television. “I need the news. I need to call Jane and Margaret, or even Mark… though I really don’t want to talk to Mark. Do you even have a phone?”
Blue grabbed Vera on the shoulder. “Relax. It will all work out. Believe me. You just can’t go back to that life. You’re dead, remember?”